Having a bad evening

[Lissa101]

I had an argument with my boyf yesterday and we've not spoken at all today. I think he's really starting to get annoyed by the fact I cry at the least thing that upsets me, he accused me of doing it to manipulate him and get attention. Really I don't and I annoy myself with being a baby about everything - wish I could just deal with life's ups and downs like a normal person.

Anyway I was watching tv a few hours ago when I realised the house was very quiet and turns out he's just gone without leaving a note. My mum used to drink when I was a kid and she used to go out drinking and I'd have to sit and wait for hours until she got back. I had to stay awake as she often needed help when she came home. I now have a really bad 'thing' about people doing this to me and he's deliberatly done this on purpose to hurt me. I've asked him to leave a note or text me if we're on bad terms and he feels he needs to go out, so I can relax. But tonight he's left without saying anything and he hasn't taken his phone so I can't call him.

Don't know if he'll stay at a friends or if he'll come home. I just have to sit and wait and worry. I wish I could just think 'sod him' and not let this get to me.

[Anxious_gal]

are you really over emotional?
i mean maybe you are just slightly more sensitive than most and he's a bit of the opposite?
It's mean to accuse you of attention seeking for what? having feelings, being human :/

Sounds like he is being immature and you both need to communicate better and have an honest conversation.

[Lissa101]

yeah, I've been overly emotional since I started having bad anxiety about 7 months ago. But we've been together 5 years and I've supported him through all his bad times with bipolar disorder and recovery from alcohol addiction. So I kind of feel its not unreasonable to ask for some support and understanding back.

I have 9 hour train journey from bristol to aberdeen tomorrow so could have done without his mind games tonight. There's a lot to be said for being single :) x

[Anxious_gal]

Some people are just sort of selfish? Or aren't able to relate well to other people emotions and yes while you support him means he should support you too but I wonder if it is some thing he is willing to do or maybe just has a harder time doing?

It's natural for you to feel hurt and angry, I mean you are both equal and it can sting when you've support him but isn't giving you the same amount of support back.
It could be worth explaining or writing down how you are feeling, and what you need from him but without accusing him of anything otherwise he may shut down and get defensive.

A few hours apart might be good.
When men get frustrated they can experience more anger than women and often they do take off to simply calm down.

I guess too in a way you've changed due to the anxiety and maybe he's used to you being the strong one? It's hard to know what he is feeling unless he tells you.

it's good you are able to be logical about what is going on and you are aware that your needs are just as important as his.