relationship anxiety

[dep1982]

First off, hi all im new :-). I have been using this site for information on and off over the past months. I suffer from anxiety and mild depression and a bit of ocd for good measure :-). I came out of a 13 year relationship last year and have now only started dating again.im a confident person but now i have found someone else i find my mind racing and i get nervous before sex and things dont seem to work down there. Now fueled by my anxiety its gettin a bigger issue. When im alone everything works fine :-). I have discovered its called performance anxiety. Sorry for rambling but has anyone any advice on how to overcome this mental block??? Thanks in advance.

[nomorepanic]

Hi dep1982

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:

[guppy]

hi dep

i had the same problem a couple of years ago.

you know what the problem is? your putting to much pressure on yourself and that is what is getting in the way ,just like it was for me.

when the time came i was way to anxious and in the end i just had to tell her the truth, i was way to nervous.
to be honest it happened a good few times after as well, but it came good in the end,and that was when i was more relaxed and comfortable with her.

the best advice i can give is to get to know her better,the more you get to know her the more relaxed you will be.

if you want to chat about it anymore just send me a message.

all the best.

[Daisy Sue]

hi Dep1982, i would go with what Guppy said and be truthful with your partner... if you trust them enough to make love, you should be able to trust them with your feelings and issues... i think i would be tempted to just try for lots of cuddles for a while, & take the pressure off yourself to 'perform' in any way.. hopefully in time as you relax into the relationship, you'll find things improving :)