Anxiety about someone coming to the house

[Elle-Kay]

I've just bitten the bullet (after months of putting it off) and booked an appointment for someone to come to the house and clean my oven -- yes, I am one of those people who hates cleaning their oven so much that they let it get into such a state that it needs a professional to do it, lol!

I've put it off for so long because I became terribly anxious last year about people coming to my home. My fear is that I will panic whilst a stranger is in the house, have to run to the bathroom and then embarrass myself entirely by them witnessing this/being able to hear me.

I managed to have someone out recently to quote for some building work in our kitchen though, and as I desperately want to go ahead with this building work (which will mean two men being at the house for at least a week) I figured I needed to try to get over this hurdle of fear about someone being at the house. The oven cleaning is going to take about 2 hours at least though, and I'm already wondering if I've made a mistake :unsure: My parents live just up the street so I could go there for a rest if I started to get worked up, but then what about leaving the technician in the house on his own...? Am I over-thinking? Should I actually be thinking: "I'll be fine, and I won't need to escape anywhere so it won't be a problem"??

[Annie0904]

You are right in the last sentence :) If the worst does come to the worst and you need the loo, leave a radio on and run the tap in the bathroom (that's what I do when we have visitors :D )

[flossie]

I am exactly the same about someone coming to the house. I don't even invite friends or family.
Think of the oven cleaning job as practise for the bigger jobs that need tackling. You will be fine. I usually find that the build up to it is so much worse that the day itself.

I had a roofing job done 2 years ago. That was when I learned one of lifes lessons. Do not eat too many prunes the evening before the roofers will be standing on the scaffolding immediately outside the bathroom window. It was a long day! :D

[gem7]

i have this too cant one of your parents let the person in to do oven for you then u can sit in another room till hes done thank god i live with my sister if any work needs to be done shes lets them in while i hide in my room and when landlord came to sign a new contract my sister bringed it up stairs for me to sign it cos i didnt want to go down stairs to see him i.m the same with having family over i cant but had no choice at xmas tho couldnt wait till it was all over with

[semper solus]

Sorry I can't resist saying this

Why not drag the cooker outside and let them do it there :D

[Elle-Kay]

I am exactly the same about someone coming to the house. I don't even invite friends or family.
Think of the oven cleaning job as practise for the bigger jobs that need tackling. You will be fine. I usually find that the build up to it is so much worse that the day itself.

I had a roofing job done 2 years ago. That was when I learned one of lifes lessons. Do not eat too many prunes the evening before the roofers will be standing on the scaffolding immediately outside the bathroom window. It was a long day! :D

I totally agree about the build-up being worse than the event itself! At least I haven't got too long until Friday to suffer :)
Your prunes story really made me smile, lol!


i have this too cant one of your parents let the person in to do oven for you then u can sit in another room till hes done thank god i live with my sister if any work needs to be done shes lets them in while i hide in my room and when landlord came to sign a new contract my sister bringed it up stairs for me to sign it cos i didnt want to go down stairs to see him i.m the same with having family over i cant but had no choice at xmas tho couldnt wait till it was all over with

They probably would do, but I know that I would still be tense with someone in the house, even in another room. I think I need to do this, to help me get over the fear rather than just avoiding it. If I do it, and get through it, I'll have no choice but to admit to myself that it's not scary/dangerous after all, no matter what my brain tells me.


Sorry I can't resist saying this

Why not drag the cooker outside and let them do it there :D

Well I can guarantee that no-one would pinch it, in the state it's in! lol Someone might think it's scrap though!!! :D

[Col]

Ohh Elle, I had this when my panic and anxiety were really bad ad it's awful. :hugs:

[Lost2010]

Hi Elle-Kay,

I'm completely the same about people coming to the house. I live with family so don't have a choice about it so I get very anxious about it, partly because I don't want to ruin it for everyone, upset anyone etc if I get in a real state.

However, from an objective point of view, the majority of people are actually sympathetic if they see someone unwell or anxious and definitely wouldn't want to make you feel worse. If you were really uncomfortable you can always explain you're not very well and ask them to leave and say you'll re-book. I've made a few at home appointments recently and try and think 'if the worst comes to the worst, I'll pay for the appointment anyway, they'll either be sympathetic or think I'm weird but I'll never have to see them again anyway!'.

I was waiting for the magic day when I wake up and suddenly I'm not anxious about it but realistically that's unlikely to happen and the only way to get through it is to practice. Well done for going ahead and booking it, reward yourself when it's done!

ps. I generally hide away in my room when people are here but I've actually found if I can force myself to go and engage with them it sometimes make it go a bit quicker and I seem to keep it together a bit more, not sure if that might help?