Dog has increased my anxiety and depression

[Polar Bear]

We have had dogs for over 30 years and after our old dog died last February we got a 6 month old collie in April. She was recued and has been with us for 10 months now so is 16 months old.

She's a loving dog (her name is Meg) but has so much energy and I mean real energy! If anyone has owned a collie you will know what I mean. Controlling her on walks is still a nightmare. She is distracted by everything (birds, rabbits, squirrels, bikes, people,cars, other dogs, anything and everything!). We've tried lots of things to try to help calm her down and be less stressed.

The problem is I'm getting more and more frustrated with her. I either get angry or dissolve into tears. Every day I come back from the morning walk and cry. I just don't know how I can get into a position where my mond is clear enough to help her and me. Her mind seems to be constantly anxious as well. She is extremely intelligent and without the distractions knows exactly what is being asked of her and she can do it. It seems we are 2 frazzled minds together.

It doesn't help that I am at home with her most of the time (I do have some work but that's diminishing) and feel trapped in a constant round of walks that wind me up, being unable to improve things and try to improve my life.

There is more going on for me than problems with the dog but I feel this as really dragged me back down. I've suffered from anxiety for decades and I've now convinced I have depression too (although haven't been diagnosed with depression as well).

Fed up of banging my head against a brick wall trying to beat these feelings. WHen I was younger I could somehow get through some of this but now, in my late 50's my body is giving up too. I feel ill, exhausted and my mind feels totally frazzled!!!

I've been having counselling for a couple of years now and it does help although I just can't break free of the pain I feel. I live in a nice house, my wife loves me, I just became a grandfather again (now have 2 grandsons - 2 years old and 5 weeks). All my family are healthly and everyone is doing well......except me!

Why can't I feel any joy in my life????

Thanks for reading this. Any thougts that you have would be really appreciated

Mike

[Pigeon]

Hello Mike
I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets annoyed by pets. I just can't cope with my dog and cat who are no trouble at all really, I just resent having to bother with them. I'm not normally like this and in fact sometimes prefer pets to people but but the anxiety and depresion have made me irritable and lethargic.
I'm in my 50's too and like you,the pets are not the main thing that's bothering me. I have a lot on my plate and for the fist time in my life have started to suffer from crippling depression (I used to heave health anxiety up to that point). I can honestly say I've never experienced anyhting like it.

I hope it helps to know there is someone, in a similar postion to you. I think you should go and tell your GP about the depression and consider medication too, if you're not already taking it.

See what alternative help can be offered. In the meantime, take care and feel free to PM me if you want to talk

Best wishes
Pigeon:)

[Annie0904]

I have 2 cats and sometimes I have to put them in the utility room for a couple of hours to give me some peace and they are very active. When your anxiety is high and also with depression, it is difficult to manage your own day to day routine without the extra responsibility of another person or animal. Just before Christmas I had to send my youngest cat to my daughters for a week to give me a rest! So you are not alone in feeling this way :hugs:

[mikewales]

I have had collies for quite a few years, and they really aren't the right dogs to get unless you have a lot of patience to train them, and are aware of how much energy they have. As well as physical exercise, they need lots of mental stimulation and do get bored easily ( collies are the most intelligent breed ).

She may not be nervous on the walk, they do tend to want to get into everything when they are out. What can be a good idea is rather than walking them around streets, drive somewhere where you can let them off the lead to run, take a ball or toy for them to chase, then you can drive them back afterwards. I've found collies much prefer getting out and running rather than walking on a lead.

If you do want to walk her, get a Halti body harness and a double ended lead, these are great for steering dogs where you want them to go.

Also look to see if there are any obedience or agility training classes in your area, Collies love things that they need to use their brains for and give them a challenge.

She is also still quite young, they often don't get calmer until they are a bit older and more mature, but stick with it as they are such wonderful loyal dogs, and can be great fun

[Polar Bear]

Thanks all.

Yes it does help to know that I'm not alone in feeling like this.

Mike - some good advice thanks. I do need to stay calm and appreciate her needs more. She can be such a joy sometimes but I'm really not helping.

[Pipkin]

I agree with Mike. I have a 10 month old dog and have been taking him to weekly training classes since he was 12 weeks. He loves it and it really helps with the training to practise with other dogs around. I like it too and enjoy meeting the other dog owners once a week. It's also a comfort to see others having similar doggy problems.

My dog's pretty sharp too and gets bored easily so I bought him some puzzles that he has to work out to get to the treats. That keeps him amused for a while together with the giant kong with frozen banana in. That's guaranteed to give me half an hour's peace. I know exactly what you mean though - I'd forgotten what hard work young dogs can be, especially the bright ones.

Good luck - once Meg's calmed down a little, you'll wonder what you did without her.

Pip

[Alabasterlyn]

I can also relate to the stress that dogs can cause. We have 2 dogs and some days I feel like tearing my hair out in frustration. We have one older dog who is nearly 14 and a 10mth old puppy. I had hoped the two of them would get along but the older dog won't have anything to do with the puppy, so I keep them separate all the time. On top of that the puppy is a poo eater so my other half had to put up a fence with a gate to stop the puppy getting onto the lawn where the older dog goes. Now I seem to spend most of my day going in and out opening and closing doors and gates to keep both happy.

We have done all the puppy classes with both dogs and both are very well socialised, just a case of the older one possibly being a bit too old now. On top of all of that both of them suffer with colitis, more so the older dog, so when she barks to go out I have to be really really quick or she will go indoors. She also has a tendency to need to go out in the middle of the night too which isn't much fun.

Then they tell us owning dogs is good for us :huh: