Newbie- introducing myself

[lisajayne22]

Hi all,

Just thought I would introduce myself here. I'm Lisa, a 22 year old student.

I came across this forum today after being prescribed fluoxetine 20mg. I had a break down on Friday evening whilst at work, and decided it was time to finally seek help from my GP.

2 years ago I broke my back in a horse riding accident, an injury that I was told was career ending (I have always wanted to ride horses for a living, having dreams of opening my own business one day). As a very active person, spending 8 months in a back brace was hell on earth for me. I wasn't even allowed within 3ft of a horse, which emotionally killed me as they had always been my get away before. Thankfully, I have started riding again since (although not to the same level) but lost all of my confidence- riding and in general. Everything I once was, is gone. Social situations I fing hard, forming relationships is hard, even looking at myself in the mirror is a daily battle.

For the last 2 years I have been battling to find myself again within this person I feel I don't know. I used to be very confident, outgoing, bubbly- the life and soul of the party. And now I am very withdrawn, agitated, depressed and detached from the world. Some days, I wish I could have another serious accident, just so I can have a break and rest for a while. I do not feel suicidal at all, and because of those types of thoughts I feel like I'm going insane.

I have taken my first tablet today, and from reading stories on here I know it's going to be a roller coaster for me over the next few months. I just hope I can find myself again through the help of this forum and taking this medication. I don't want to feel trapped within my own body, or held down by this person who isn't me any more.

I just want to get better :weep:

Lisa x

[nomorepanic]

Hi lisajayne22

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[asmmargod]

Hi. Hope you'll manage to find your old self soon.
Loads of us here are on the same journey.

[lisajayne22]

It's comforting to know so many people are going through the same thing, and I just hope that from the help I receive on here and from my GP I can return to 'normal' again

[CarmR]

Hi Lisa

:welcome: to the site, you've come to the right place!.

As you said yourself its gonna be a Roller Coaster ride for next few months...
You may or may not have side affects from the Fluoxetine at first, but try not to read to much about them as it can make you feel worse...I think many of us on here know that from experience..

Look after yourself well and be as positive as you can...you will get better and you will feel yourself again...just hang in there :hugs:

Carmel x

[Mark13]

Hi Lisa

You've been through a major health trauma (my own problems started after a life-saving brain operation) and it has obviously had an emotional effect.

You've come to the right place for guidance and support.

Mark

[lisajayne22]

Hi Mark and Carmel,

Thank you both for replying, even just a short reply on here strangely makes me feel a little better already- as if people really do care and want to help!! (I know people do, but I suppose I just refuse to see that sometimes).

Mark, it's reassuring to know someone else has suffered from these problems after a similar situation. I can only assume it has stemmed from my accident, as I noticed very soon after (even whilst I was still in hospital) that all I wanted was to be left alone and to shut myself away from the world. It took a lot of courage and strength for me even to return to university, where I again just shut myself away and didn't get involved in anything social except eating dinner in silence with others.

Carmel, I have already read (perhaps stupidly) side effects that fluoxetine can have. However, I feel perhaps I am a little more prepared for these now, and at least know the worst that can happen. I did have a mild panic attack when I first read them, and then calmed myself down and spoke to my partner who was very reassuring. I just have to hope that I will see the light at the end of the tunnel should I experience what others have.

Lisa x

[ynos]

:welcome:

[Daisy Sue]

hi Lisajayne, & welcome :)

yep, same here.. i never had anxiety or any kind of nervous issues until after a very scary health episode, which included 3 major operations, and nearly losing my life... months after recovery, i had one more minor health scare and that was it - panic, anxiety, the lot, kicked in. i think our minds just have an overload button and health worries are exactly the kind of thing that will push that button.

anyway, glad you're here, i hope you find lots of support and comfort from everyone here. :)

[CarmR]

Hi Lisajay

Just wondered how you are getting on with the Fluoxetine?, hope you are doing ok :hugs::hugs:

Carmel x

[Arnie365]

Hi Lisa welcome. There are lots of people on here who can relate to you. My escape was going to the gym and getting rid of my tension and stress but I've developed anxiety about my heart and now find it hard to exercise as I worry about overdoing it even though all the tests show my heart is fine. It's horrible when something we love and are emotionally attached to seems like its been taken away. Hopefully given time you will regain your confidence.