Dying OCD?

[Khadijah]

Hi all I pray you are well

I have been battling with the way I feel for around 6 monthes now, and it has slowly got worse. I read online about panic attacks and they don't quite sound what I feel like (sudden chest pains etc) but I shall post here and see if anyone has any insight :)

I have obsessive thoughts of death. I can't shift this feeling in my head that I'll have a heart attack or heart failure. It's never really anything else, mainly heart related. I don't have a reason for feeling like this, no chest pains or anything.
During the day time when I'm with others, the thought will come to my mind 'what If I die?' 'what if I have a heart attack right now?', then the thought goes away after some effort. Maybe because I'm busy and don't have chance to dwell on it.
At night, this is when it all starts. :weep: when I get into bed the thought comes again, but because it's quiet and I'm alone, I can't shift the thought.
Then I start to panic, deep breathing, crying, shaking, and a 'butterfly' feeling in my chest like nervousness (palpitations?), that's the worst part of it.
I can feel like this for hours on end. Last night was until 4am. And I am still feeling the 'butterflys' in chest now.

I am feeling more stressed in my life at the moment, and I suffer with a underactive thyroid so not sure if this is playing a role.

Does anyone else feel this way :weep:

[Wolfie]

Hey there,

Not sure if an underactive thyroid could be playing a role in the way that you're feeling, so best to check with a doctor about that.

Perhaps you have known someone who has had heart problems or you've watched something on TV, read something, etc, about a heart-related condition that has been fatal for someone and reading that has traumatised you to the point where you are obsessing over whether you will suffer the same fate or to the point where a heart-related condition OR dying has become one of your biggest fears.

When we have a big fear, sometimes being predispositioned to anxiety, etc, the anxiety or whatever can 'tag' on to that fear and make a mountain out of it, because really, playing on fear - is something which can control people. So, the anxiety wants to be in control and to do this, it finds a way to be in control.

It's a great idea that whenever you find these thoughts slipping through into your conscious mind, to distract yourself, but before you distract yourself, tell yourself, yes ok, I am having this nasty thought, I accept that I'm having a nasty thought, but I'm going to try and not add to it or feed it with fear. Acceptance goes a long way with this kind of thing.

When we are highly anxious/stressed, we can feel symptoms which 'feel like a heart attack/feel like there is something wrong with our heart'. That's just the adrenaline and cortisol from the anxiety having an effect, it's effectively telling your body to go into 'flight or fight' mode and this is why we get all the palpitations, shaking, chest pains, hyperventilation and so on. It's simply a physiological mechanism and it's important to realise and accept that your body is naturally designed to react this way to threats either physiological or psychological.

It may be worth looking into therapies such as CBT, because CBT helps to change the way you think - from an irrational/negative thinking pattern to a rational/postive thinking pattern and reacting rationally to these thoughts are so paramount to combat this.

Hope this helps somewhat!

Chris

[Khadijah]

Hey Chris, thank you for a lovely reply. I will defiantly use the acknowledging technique next time I get these thoughts. They come in the day time, but I just deal with them. It is only at night when I am alone in bed that I cannot seem to shift the thoughts, maybe it is because there is nothing to distract me.
I defiantly want to look into CBT as I have heard many good things about that, and anything is worth a try!

Well family members have suffered with heart problems, but maybe one of the prominent situations is I suffered two miscarriages. I had a scan and all was well, then the next day after still bleeding I lost my angel. I was super shocked as I saw his/her heart beat the day before and all seemed fine. Maybe this is where my negative thoughts have come fro, without me actually realising.

I don't think I suffer with panic attacks as such, I don't get chest pains, pounding heart etc. I just have negative thoughts that turn into me checking my pulse, shaking, crying, and having 'butterfly nervousness' feeling in my chest.


Last few nights I have tried to play a DVD till I fell asleep, to stop my mind from over thinking the negative thoughts and it seems to have worked a little.

Thank you again for your advice :flowers: