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amy.x.
08-02-13, 12:57
hi everyone,

To be honest i dont know where to start or what to say but i guess im here because i feel i have nowhere left/else to turn. i feel so alone. the last time i felt this way i did something very silly and i dont want to get to that point again.

i have suffered from anxiety as a child and all throughout my life up until this present day. at first it was jst the anxiety but then came the panic attacks, avoidance, eating disorder & depression. some how i managed to suppress/hide all these things by having a successful, highly pressured career.. along with a part time accountancy degree in the evenings and many nights out drinking with work colleagues etc. i had many friends & was always in a relationship (albeit i realise these were not always 'healthy').

up until 2 years ago jst after finishing my degree where i found myself having panic attacks daily, feeling so low i could not get out of bed, i stopped eating, isolated myself from friends as i didnt understand what was happening to me.

to cut a long story short i ended up being diagnosed as having had a nervous breakdown & later by a psychiatrist severe anxiety & major depressive disorder along with an eating disorder.

i have tried almost everything in the book to combat my problems from medication to therapy and still i find myself here today anxious, panicky, alone and isolated & scared to even go out of my own home.

The only thing i have/had left in me is hope but even that is fading, im so tired of fighting jst to get through a day. i cant remember the last time i was happy, if i ever really have been even but i jst feel that what i have to go through is not a life but is a torture.

so sorry for the downbeat nature of this post but i would really appreciate it if someone could help me in some/any way at all.

thanks

Amy x

nomorepanic
08-02-13, 13:10
Hi amy.x.

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

Roxy79
08-02-13, 13:17
I can totally relate to everything you have just said. I feel exactly the same. I just want to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm quite good at giving advise but I need to practice what I preach. Here goes....
Try and find a hobby - something that you really enjoy doing. Mine is walking my dog. I like being outside and the excersise helps too. How about a fitness class? Or taking up a new hobby? When I start to feel anxious, I try and get lost in a good book to distract my wondering thoughts. Hope this has been of little help to you. Keep your chin up and try and keep smiling xxx

Darbysa
08-02-13, 13:50
Hi Amy

Welcome to the site. I hope you will find some comfort here.

Like Roxy I am good at giving advice but tend to find it hard to take my own sometimes! I guess if we all took the advice and it worked we wouldn't all be here.

You know the theory anyway so I won't repeat but please believe that you are not alone. There are so many of us going through this in one form or another and we all understand how you feel and how hard it can be.

Are you still under medical care? I think it's important that your doctor knows how you are feeling.

Take one day at a time and try and find something good to think about. Even the smallest thing can lift you a bit and when things get really bad come onto here for some support. There will always be someone to reach out to you.

Roxy is right. Try and distract yourself with something you like doing. Try and reconnect with your friends if you can.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

Take care

Sal

amy.x.
09-02-13, 21:36
Thank you so much for your kind replies. i do try to keep busy & generally if i am in my own home this tends to work. its when facing the 'outside' world my anxiety & panic goes through the roof... then i get mad at myself for letting the anxiety and panic control my life. Im scared i will become a recluse and isolate myself more from other people as they dont understand me x

pleepeeb
09-02-13, 22:32
Amy, read your message and don't know if I can suggest anything that would help but certainly can tell you that I sort of understand the hell you are going thru. My panic attacks have not been a severe or as frequent as yours but since I am just now realizing that I have them, I know they are very scary. I try to start alot of projects and will even not work on them when I'm feeling ok as I know I will need to have something to occupy my mind when I do have a panic attack. you have my support.
support from northern ca
Paul:)

amy.x.
10-02-13, 08:24
hi paul,

thank you for your kind message. if you would like to chat, maybe it would do us both good?!

Amy �� Xx