Rock bottom.

[zippy]

I feel I have reached rock bottom. I cryed non stop yesterday all day, I feel like I am withdrawn. I feel numb inside. I try to do stuff but I feel so Ill.Can anxiety make you feel so ill and it not be something serious.
I was sobbing to my partner this morning saying I don't want to die and leave everyone. I wanted to go to a&e but my partner said what are you going to say you think you have a brain tumour and your dying. I generally feel unwell.
I couldn't sleep last night, my mind was jumping and racing with crazy stuff, I feel all dithery inside. I have pains in my head and if i move my head fast I feel dizzy. It feels like there's something in the side of my head and i think its the tumour pressing.I don't know what else to do. I have been to opticians, 2 gp's and an ent specialist who did neuro tests etc and all were fine. I was hoping he would send me for a scan but he said I didn't need one. Now I just think no one believes I am dying and it's going to be too late and my kids won't have a mam.
It absolutely crippling me if this is all anxiety.

[TotallyBonkers]

Zippy, its so hard especially when you are at the lowest ebb, which by the sounds of it you are.

Firstly its fantastic that the tests were all fine, if there was a brain tumour there then the tests would have given very strong pointers and indicators to something pretty major going on, that's more than likely why you were not sent for a scan, as they only scan when the tests reveal something untoward may be going on.

Anxiety CAN make you feel exactly how you are describing it, it can be a crippling and debilitating condition to live with, and at times it can get so bad that we simply do not feel that it could be possible to have all these symptoms and it "only" be caused from anxiety.

Anxiety can do so much to our bodies and our minds giving real physical symptoms as well as play with our heads emotionally. That's the one part of Health Anxiety that all sufferers find the hardest to accept, but once you do, then that is when you start to notice symptoms of things start to settle down and in the end disappear all together.

I know seeking reassurance to put our minds at ease is the first thing we do, but that reassurance only lasts for a few minutes to a few hours, and then we are straight back to worrying again. This is another cycle we have to try to break.

Have you thought of trying some anti-depressants to help alleviate it? or counselling maybe?

Please take comfort that the medical profession are confident that there is no tumour there, and please try to not be so hard on yourself. You can and will get through this.

[zippy]

Thanks totallybonkers.
I feel like I can't see properly and have to really concentrate to see properly, but I obviously can because the optician did a thorough exam, pressure behind eyes and pictures of behind my eyes etc. The ent did neuro tests and checked my ears and also 2 gp's have checked my eyes. I thought they would have done my bloods or something.
Does anyone get one sided symptoms? I feel like the left side of my head has been hit with something or that there is something in there pressing. My left eye feels odd and sometimes it waters. I feel off balance and just not myself.

---------- Post added at 14:07 ---------- Previous post was at 12:13 ----------

Just got in the shower and felt all shaky and like I was going to faint.