ashurrutia
09-02-13, 19:17
I'm curious to see whether I really developed Health Anxiety, or if this is just another manisfestation of my OCD.
Pre-August 2012, i.e. pre-Infection with Giardia Lamblia and Blastocystis, and pre-symptoms of extreme fatigue, aches and pains everywhere, feeling of choking, chest pain, racing or slow heart, etc. My obsessions were with one of my lymph nodes, I noticed it in May, it was swollen, it was ~3/4 cm in diameter, and I would poke it everyday, and spend my days researching the causes of a swollen right sided supraclavicular lymph node. The causes I found were all related to Cancer(esophageal,lung,etc), so I would look for more. I did have two mild panic attacks, the first one in April, just two weeks after my grandfather passed, the second one in July. April one was triggered by me reading some article about ten signs people will have before they have a Heart Attack, so it was heart related, I didn't know what a Panic Attack was, so I freaked out badly. The second one was in July, and it was more about dizziness and feeling like passing out. My obsessions until August, lymph-node, any sort of stomach, esophageal or lung cancer. My symptoms, mild digestive discomfort that would intensify with my anxiety, but still, wasn't daily nor did it interrupt my daily activities.
Post-August, and post infection, symptoms got order of magnitude worse, my anxiety went through the roof, I had two-three solid weeks of daily Panic Attacks from Heart related, to feeling of suffocation, to nervous tingling all around. Afterwards, they stopped, I started doing acupunture, but anxiety, and especially health anxiety still was high. Daily episodes of reflux/heartburn==Heart Attack, headaches==Brain Tumor, Abdominal pain==Gastric Coma, ruptured ulcer in any organs, stomach obstruction, you name it. Back pain in upper back==pulmonary embolism. Now, I had plenty of tests for my heart, including Holter monitor, multiple EKGs, x-ray, and blood work. Stomach and esophageal cancers ruled out by GI specialist with tests.
My obsessions: Symptoms related, i.e. if I get a headache==Brain Cancer, if I get a racing heart==Ventricular Tachycardia/cardiac arrest, if my heart is too slow==failing heart, if my respiration is constrained because I'm in a bad posture, or I'm too full==pulmonary arrest, any abdominal pain==bleeding ulcer. Gas trapped in chest==Heart Attack.
My compulsions: Check my heart rate multiple times in a day, especially if I'm sitting down, and I feel dizzy, I check my HR, if is say on the 60s I worry about standing up and fainting. Search symptoms on the internet, constant reassurance that I'm ok. If heart goes racing to say 160 bpm, but calms down in less than 10 minutes, because I don't pay attention to it, I still think that this one was definitely a Heart Attack, even though I have no chest pain. If I don't check my pulse, I get anxiety, if I do check it, and don't feel it, I get even more anxiety.
Also, when I go to bed, as I'm drifting off, I start to think, what if I have an episode in my sleep, and no one is nearby, si I can't truly fall asleep until my girlfriend goes to sleep. That creates even more anxiety, as I'm constantly drifting off, and being brought back. I also see sleeping as being out of control, since you cannot control when you fall asleep, and when you wake up.(Unless you use an alarm) I hate being out of control.
I've always had OCD, so I don't know if this is yet another OCD phase, or if this is Health Anxiety all on his own.
Pre-August 2012, i.e. pre-Infection with Giardia Lamblia and Blastocystis, and pre-symptoms of extreme fatigue, aches and pains everywhere, feeling of choking, chest pain, racing or slow heart, etc. My obsessions were with one of my lymph nodes, I noticed it in May, it was swollen, it was ~3/4 cm in diameter, and I would poke it everyday, and spend my days researching the causes of a swollen right sided supraclavicular lymph node. The causes I found were all related to Cancer(esophageal,lung,etc), so I would look for more. I did have two mild panic attacks, the first one in April, just two weeks after my grandfather passed, the second one in July. April one was triggered by me reading some article about ten signs people will have before they have a Heart Attack, so it was heart related, I didn't know what a Panic Attack was, so I freaked out badly. The second one was in July, and it was more about dizziness and feeling like passing out. My obsessions until August, lymph-node, any sort of stomach, esophageal or lung cancer. My symptoms, mild digestive discomfort that would intensify with my anxiety, but still, wasn't daily nor did it interrupt my daily activities.
Post-August, and post infection, symptoms got order of magnitude worse, my anxiety went through the roof, I had two-three solid weeks of daily Panic Attacks from Heart related, to feeling of suffocation, to nervous tingling all around. Afterwards, they stopped, I started doing acupunture, but anxiety, and especially health anxiety still was high. Daily episodes of reflux/heartburn==Heart Attack, headaches==Brain Tumor, Abdominal pain==Gastric Coma, ruptured ulcer in any organs, stomach obstruction, you name it. Back pain in upper back==pulmonary embolism. Now, I had plenty of tests for my heart, including Holter monitor, multiple EKGs, x-ray, and blood work. Stomach and esophageal cancers ruled out by GI specialist with tests.
My obsessions: Symptoms related, i.e. if I get a headache==Brain Cancer, if I get a racing heart==Ventricular Tachycardia/cardiac arrest, if my heart is too slow==failing heart, if my respiration is constrained because I'm in a bad posture, or I'm too full==pulmonary arrest, any abdominal pain==bleeding ulcer. Gas trapped in chest==Heart Attack.
My compulsions: Check my heart rate multiple times in a day, especially if I'm sitting down, and I feel dizzy, I check my HR, if is say on the 60s I worry about standing up and fainting. Search symptoms on the internet, constant reassurance that I'm ok. If heart goes racing to say 160 bpm, but calms down in less than 10 minutes, because I don't pay attention to it, I still think that this one was definitely a Heart Attack, even though I have no chest pain. If I don't check my pulse, I get anxiety, if I do check it, and don't feel it, I get even more anxiety.
Also, when I go to bed, as I'm drifting off, I start to think, what if I have an episode in my sleep, and no one is nearby, si I can't truly fall asleep until my girlfriend goes to sleep. That creates even more anxiety, as I'm constantly drifting off, and being brought back. I also see sleeping as being out of control, since you cannot control when you fall asleep, and when you wake up.(Unless you use an alarm) I hate being out of control.
I've always had OCD, so I don't know if this is yet another OCD phase, or if this is Health Anxiety all on his own.