the reckoning
10-02-13, 15:39
HI Guys, I am new here and this is my first post. I need your help or at least some feedback about my case, symptoms and I am looking for reassurance that those are not the first warning signs of something more serious. I am trying to tell my story from the beginning and I will try to be as precise as I can so that you understand what I am going through.
It has started almost two years ago when I realized moderate pain in my testicles. Having my testicles removed or testicle cancer was probably my biggest fear ever since high school when I was told by the school nurse that 3 out of 10 person's testicle are being removed due to cancer. My symptoms got worse over a few weeks time and I was convinced that I am going to die. I did not have the guts to share this with anyone but as it was inevitable after a few weeks I told my girlfriend and my family about that and my girlfriend was very supportive, called the clinic where I was examined and was told that my testicles are healthy and everything was fine. Surprisingly after the examination the sharp and constant pain I was having for weeks has gone away immediately which scared me because I wouldn't have thought that the whole situation was just an illusion. As you can imagine I was pretty depressed during the whole process especially that I kept it for myself for so long.
A few weeks later I have applied for a position in the UK, and after 3 months I have been relocated and moved to London. My job is quite stressful at times and I am under a lot of pressure. Everything was fine for a good year or so, we have even moved together with my girlfriend and I was doing pretty well in my new position so we had the funds to travel on weekends and I could finally buy a pretty good bike which was one of my biggest dreams to have. All in all everything was not just simply fine but glorious, we were living a life that we have always dreamt about. I was under a lot of stress and conscious about life and a bit worried that everything could go wrong but I thought that was normal. As I said work was though but nothing I couldn't handle. From Monday to Friday I could literally feel the pressure on my shoulder but the weekends were deliberating.
Probably 8 months ago I started feeling pins and needles in my left hand more specifically in my little finger, it was gentle but quite constant so it made me worried. Later on I started feeling it in my left sole as well. I went to the ER one day and told all my symptoms to a doc who sent me back to my GP and ordered some blood tests to check my vitamin, sodium levels, etc. That was the period when I started cycling every day so after a few weeks the gentle tingling/numbness has gone away by the time I got the results of my blood test. My GP told me that everything was fine and the results were perfect. A few weeks later I started noticing symptoms of general anxiety. I was anxious about everything, literally everything and I was having really scary and dark thoughts, sense of impending doom and constant fear of death. My thoughts were racing around death and I was permanently under the impression that I was going to die of something. The pins and needles came back, and by now I was having these gentle, moderate tingling sensations in my left hand, little finger, the side of my left foot, even in my face which was extremely worrying and I was convinced that I was going to die! I went back to my GP and I was given Sertraline 50 mg. The first few days were a nightmare. I had a pretty bad panic attack just after I started taking the medication (it was probably on day 3 or 4, I can't remember), I woke up in the middle of the night which has never happened to me and couldn't feel my heart beating. I got up and went to the toilet but I still couldn't feel my own heartbeat, I started panicking and out of a sudden started feeling cold around my shoulder and nape. I thought I was going to pass out, it was terrible, everything went red and blurry but I didn't pass out. My girlfriend was with me all the time and I have managed to calm myself in just a few minutes and fell asleep. Slowly the tingling sensations were gone and after a month I started feeling positive, the negative thoughts were gone either so all in all it wasn't that bad. I started working out, got a gym pass and went 4 days a week plus swimming on Saturday. I was having side effects such as erectile dysfunction for a couple of days, and I was steadily tired for the first few weeks, I needed an afternoon nap to stay alive and I could go to bed at midnight which was unheard of me as I always stayed up until 1/2am. Other than that dry eye for a few days, dizziness but nothing more. A little while I started feeling stabbing pain in my head - I can't remember since when -, it lasts for not more than a few seconds (5- 10) and it's not the sort of pain you feel inside the head but on the side or top of my head. I also experienced vertigo a few times, these were quite common for a few weeks and then they were gone. I have even seen fractals once, at least I know I am not the only one who has seen such things... It lasts for a few minutes starting from the focus point of my eyes, expands in 5/10 minutes and goes but in most cases results in a headache which goes away in a few hours. Probably what concerns me the most is the eye pain which has started a few months ago, it comes and goes but sometimes it is pretty bad that I have to take a pain killer. It is the back of my eye that hurts, like it would be something behind my eyes and it is frustrating. Also sometimes a little nerve behind my eye is twitching for a few seconds, it is annoying. Finally this week on Wednesday I slept just 4- 5 hours if not less and when I woke up I had a twitch in my left thumb for a day! It was so scary that I am now convinced that I either have MS, Parkinson's or a brain tumor. Last time I have been to see my GP, I was being told that my symptoms were not that concerning...
Work has become even more stressful but I wouldn't think that it makes my symptoms worsen over the past few months. I also started having the tingling sensations on my sole and I feel that I am back to zero. I haven't been to the gym lately but the last time I went my eyes were killing me...
I don't know what's wrong with me but I want to get an MRI done, a CT, full blood test the most detailed that is possible. Do you think I am overreacting? Do you think I am hypochondriac? Do I have MS or Parkinsons or brain desease?
I was following the forum since day 1 of my anxiety but it's still very hard to accept that anxiety is causing all my symptoms. I know that I don't have phobias and I am definitely not antisocial, I work in sales and I meet new people day by day and let's say I am enjoying it.
Please help me by letting your thoughts known.
Many thanks!
XO
It has started almost two years ago when I realized moderate pain in my testicles. Having my testicles removed or testicle cancer was probably my biggest fear ever since high school when I was told by the school nurse that 3 out of 10 person's testicle are being removed due to cancer. My symptoms got worse over a few weeks time and I was convinced that I am going to die. I did not have the guts to share this with anyone but as it was inevitable after a few weeks I told my girlfriend and my family about that and my girlfriend was very supportive, called the clinic where I was examined and was told that my testicles are healthy and everything was fine. Surprisingly after the examination the sharp and constant pain I was having for weeks has gone away immediately which scared me because I wouldn't have thought that the whole situation was just an illusion. As you can imagine I was pretty depressed during the whole process especially that I kept it for myself for so long.
A few weeks later I have applied for a position in the UK, and after 3 months I have been relocated and moved to London. My job is quite stressful at times and I am under a lot of pressure. Everything was fine for a good year or so, we have even moved together with my girlfriend and I was doing pretty well in my new position so we had the funds to travel on weekends and I could finally buy a pretty good bike which was one of my biggest dreams to have. All in all everything was not just simply fine but glorious, we were living a life that we have always dreamt about. I was under a lot of stress and conscious about life and a bit worried that everything could go wrong but I thought that was normal. As I said work was though but nothing I couldn't handle. From Monday to Friday I could literally feel the pressure on my shoulder but the weekends were deliberating.
Probably 8 months ago I started feeling pins and needles in my left hand more specifically in my little finger, it was gentle but quite constant so it made me worried. Later on I started feeling it in my left sole as well. I went to the ER one day and told all my symptoms to a doc who sent me back to my GP and ordered some blood tests to check my vitamin, sodium levels, etc. That was the period when I started cycling every day so after a few weeks the gentle tingling/numbness has gone away by the time I got the results of my blood test. My GP told me that everything was fine and the results were perfect. A few weeks later I started noticing symptoms of general anxiety. I was anxious about everything, literally everything and I was having really scary and dark thoughts, sense of impending doom and constant fear of death. My thoughts were racing around death and I was permanently under the impression that I was going to die of something. The pins and needles came back, and by now I was having these gentle, moderate tingling sensations in my left hand, little finger, the side of my left foot, even in my face which was extremely worrying and I was convinced that I was going to die! I went back to my GP and I was given Sertraline 50 mg. The first few days were a nightmare. I had a pretty bad panic attack just after I started taking the medication (it was probably on day 3 or 4, I can't remember), I woke up in the middle of the night which has never happened to me and couldn't feel my heart beating. I got up and went to the toilet but I still couldn't feel my own heartbeat, I started panicking and out of a sudden started feeling cold around my shoulder and nape. I thought I was going to pass out, it was terrible, everything went red and blurry but I didn't pass out. My girlfriend was with me all the time and I have managed to calm myself in just a few minutes and fell asleep. Slowly the tingling sensations were gone and after a month I started feeling positive, the negative thoughts were gone either so all in all it wasn't that bad. I started working out, got a gym pass and went 4 days a week plus swimming on Saturday. I was having side effects such as erectile dysfunction for a couple of days, and I was steadily tired for the first few weeks, I needed an afternoon nap to stay alive and I could go to bed at midnight which was unheard of me as I always stayed up until 1/2am. Other than that dry eye for a few days, dizziness but nothing more. A little while I started feeling stabbing pain in my head - I can't remember since when -, it lasts for not more than a few seconds (5- 10) and it's not the sort of pain you feel inside the head but on the side or top of my head. I also experienced vertigo a few times, these were quite common for a few weeks and then they were gone. I have even seen fractals once, at least I know I am not the only one who has seen such things... It lasts for a few minutes starting from the focus point of my eyes, expands in 5/10 minutes and goes but in most cases results in a headache which goes away in a few hours. Probably what concerns me the most is the eye pain which has started a few months ago, it comes and goes but sometimes it is pretty bad that I have to take a pain killer. It is the back of my eye that hurts, like it would be something behind my eyes and it is frustrating. Also sometimes a little nerve behind my eye is twitching for a few seconds, it is annoying. Finally this week on Wednesday I slept just 4- 5 hours if not less and when I woke up I had a twitch in my left thumb for a day! It was so scary that I am now convinced that I either have MS, Parkinson's or a brain tumor. Last time I have been to see my GP, I was being told that my symptoms were not that concerning...
Work has become even more stressful but I wouldn't think that it makes my symptoms worsen over the past few months. I also started having the tingling sensations on my sole and I feel that I am back to zero. I haven't been to the gym lately but the last time I went my eyes were killing me...
I don't know what's wrong with me but I want to get an MRI done, a CT, full blood test the most detailed that is possible. Do you think I am overreacting? Do you think I am hypochondriac? Do I have MS or Parkinsons or brain desease?
I was following the forum since day 1 of my anxiety but it's still very hard to accept that anxiety is causing all my symptoms. I know that I don't have phobias and I am definitely not antisocial, I work in sales and I meet new people day by day and let's say I am enjoying it.
Please help me by letting your thoughts known.
Many thanks!
XO