the dude
05-09-06, 20:37
Hey everyone...
I'm back. (haha i wonder if anyone remembers me at all).
anyway...This summer i felt great for the most part. I was cycling as much as possible, going out, met new people, recorded a demo with my band, went to shows, visited family, went to the beach. then i went to the beach with my friends for 3 days.
It was fine until the ride home...I got depressed (understandably...coming back home from vacation is never fun). It was chilly enough to sleep in my room (the summer heat left me sleeping on my living room floor and not upstairs) and getting to sleep was kinda hard. I kept waking up to those "chills" from P.A's. But no full blown PA's. But i fell asleep and got some good ol' rest.
The summer weather seemed to dissapear as soon as i got home though...chilly, rainy, and everything seemed to go back to normal. Work, everyone else working, bills, problems at home (Mother came close to having to sell the house). But regardless, I push on...life is life eh?
But I did realize that the depression since i got home has kinda lingered. Depression i never really focused on this much before panic attacks. (Maybe due to the weather and lack of stuff to do recently) - However when the sun was out i felt so much better.
But things started to go a bit downhill again. I started thinking about the anxiety/panic attacks more. For some reason i started to think about that fear of going mad a bit more again...and I'm trying to keep myself as stable as possible, you know? I try to keep as logical as possible as far as not taking any negative thinking to a next level (ie: focusing on it instead of productive thinking that will get me to get off my rear and out there again). and for the most part, it's been working.
Today though...I started of the day kinda gloomy. didnt eat a good breakfast and couldnt go cycling yet (busted my knee a few weeks ago and the doc told me not to go riding until the pain goes away totally)...sat around and played a video game (got bored and i noticed ever since i had my panic attack...i hate sitting around just watching tv during the day). anyway...not the best day, felt weak and tiredand crummy...Thinking about anxiety and panic attacks...visited the forum for the first time in a while. Friend called, we went out to eat...And i actually started to have a panic attack. D'oh!!!!
anyway, It startled me a bit and the initial reaction was to fight it...which didnt make things better, but then i let it go, did some diaphramatic breathing and it seemed to subside slowly. So thats a good thng! I handled it pretty well and sat there watching my friend eat her hash browns until we left. I do however still feel kinda crappy (classes start tomorrow again...oi...at least its my last semester at this college). So i think handling the start of an attack is another step in the right direction!
I did have some questions for everyone though.
I dont know if its my associating the panic attack with a cold winter...but the thought of the ending summer/approaching winter kinda depresses me much more than it ever did. Anyone else have this?
Also...this "slight" PA was a bit odd as it happened in the afternoon. when i got them early this year...well, when the anxiety was at its highest of the day it was usually in the evening. anyone else more prone to anxiety at night?
anyway, hope all is well with everyone.
I'm back. (haha i wonder if anyone remembers me at all).
anyway...This summer i felt great for the most part. I was cycling as much as possible, going out, met new people, recorded a demo with my band, went to shows, visited family, went to the beach. then i went to the beach with my friends for 3 days.
It was fine until the ride home...I got depressed (understandably...coming back home from vacation is never fun). It was chilly enough to sleep in my room (the summer heat left me sleeping on my living room floor and not upstairs) and getting to sleep was kinda hard. I kept waking up to those "chills" from P.A's. But no full blown PA's. But i fell asleep and got some good ol' rest.
The summer weather seemed to dissapear as soon as i got home though...chilly, rainy, and everything seemed to go back to normal. Work, everyone else working, bills, problems at home (Mother came close to having to sell the house). But regardless, I push on...life is life eh?
But I did realize that the depression since i got home has kinda lingered. Depression i never really focused on this much before panic attacks. (Maybe due to the weather and lack of stuff to do recently) - However when the sun was out i felt so much better.
But things started to go a bit downhill again. I started thinking about the anxiety/panic attacks more. For some reason i started to think about that fear of going mad a bit more again...and I'm trying to keep myself as stable as possible, you know? I try to keep as logical as possible as far as not taking any negative thinking to a next level (ie: focusing on it instead of productive thinking that will get me to get off my rear and out there again). and for the most part, it's been working.
Today though...I started of the day kinda gloomy. didnt eat a good breakfast and couldnt go cycling yet (busted my knee a few weeks ago and the doc told me not to go riding until the pain goes away totally)...sat around and played a video game (got bored and i noticed ever since i had my panic attack...i hate sitting around just watching tv during the day). anyway...not the best day, felt weak and tiredand crummy...Thinking about anxiety and panic attacks...visited the forum for the first time in a while. Friend called, we went out to eat...And i actually started to have a panic attack. D'oh!!!!
anyway, It startled me a bit and the initial reaction was to fight it...which didnt make things better, but then i let it go, did some diaphramatic breathing and it seemed to subside slowly. So thats a good thng! I handled it pretty well and sat there watching my friend eat her hash browns until we left. I do however still feel kinda crappy (classes start tomorrow again...oi...at least its my last semester at this college). So i think handling the start of an attack is another step in the right direction!
I did have some questions for everyone though.
I dont know if its my associating the panic attack with a cold winter...but the thought of the ending summer/approaching winter kinda depresses me much more than it ever did. Anyone else have this?
Also...this "slight" PA was a bit odd as it happened in the afternoon. when i got them early this year...well, when the anxiety was at its highest of the day it was usually in the evening. anyone else more prone to anxiety at night?
anyway, hope all is well with everyone.