JaVelin
12-02-13, 16:33
Hi Folks.
I think I have anxiety but maybe it's something else. I had to see a respirologist because I though I had shortness of breath or was developing COPD. But he gave me a clean bill of health and said my breathlessness was from anxiety.
First a little background. I do feel a little low maybe depressed. In the last few years .. say 5 or 6 I've lost both my parents, my wife left and my daughter died, my ex father in law (whom I was very fond of) died as well and I had to put my little dog down a few months ago. Also I left a job and the people I worked with for 20+ years and started my own business from home in this last year or so. Also I married the woman who was there for me after my daughter died and we are starting a new adventure together and i'm very happy about that. and really want to get cracking at the new life... but.
My problem is this. After my daughter died I think I may have something unresolved from that and maybe all the other losses, My wife thinks this is what it is. I really don't know i'm sort of numb I guess you could say. But it's like there is something there (emotion wise) but I can't figure it out and let it out or whatever. it's like I can't scream, it's stuck. This preoccupies me and then I avoid it with shallow distractions. I say shallow because I can't concentrate on things so I read news . forum posts (heh. that's how I found this place). I can only write this because it's pouring out of me without me really thinking to much about it. I don't know if the reader will even understand this or not.
I can't read anymore. I mean really read. If I read I can't concentrate well enough to comprehend so I don't. Little problems paralyze me and I fail to act to prevent them from becoming big problems. All the things I loved doing before don't hold as much interest for me and I spend my days not accomplishing very much which makes me feel worse. Every so often I have a burst of productivity but it's barely enough to be stressful at my business and this is going to soon become a major issue.
Previous to this I was always the one to help. I was the one that held things together, I was the organizer, I could always see things clearly and knew what direction to go and what to do and now I feel a little helpless and unmotivated and can't tell where the dragon is that needs to be slayed. all I do is sit and stare at the computer screen when I should be working. everything seems insurmountable... Where the hell is this coming from ?! MY Wife has been great, she is really trying to help me through whatever this is but it's not fair to her because I can't seem to get it together enough to contribute meaningfully to our future endeavors. I'm much better when she is here and can prod me along but that's not how it's supposed to be and she has to work.
Thanks I really hope someone can understand this..
I think I have anxiety but maybe it's something else. I had to see a respirologist because I though I had shortness of breath or was developing COPD. But he gave me a clean bill of health and said my breathlessness was from anxiety.
First a little background. I do feel a little low maybe depressed. In the last few years .. say 5 or 6 I've lost both my parents, my wife left and my daughter died, my ex father in law (whom I was very fond of) died as well and I had to put my little dog down a few months ago. Also I left a job and the people I worked with for 20+ years and started my own business from home in this last year or so. Also I married the woman who was there for me after my daughter died and we are starting a new adventure together and i'm very happy about that. and really want to get cracking at the new life... but.
My problem is this. After my daughter died I think I may have something unresolved from that and maybe all the other losses, My wife thinks this is what it is. I really don't know i'm sort of numb I guess you could say. But it's like there is something there (emotion wise) but I can't figure it out and let it out or whatever. it's like I can't scream, it's stuck. This preoccupies me and then I avoid it with shallow distractions. I say shallow because I can't concentrate on things so I read news . forum posts (heh. that's how I found this place). I can only write this because it's pouring out of me without me really thinking to much about it. I don't know if the reader will even understand this or not.
I can't read anymore. I mean really read. If I read I can't concentrate well enough to comprehend so I don't. Little problems paralyze me and I fail to act to prevent them from becoming big problems. All the things I loved doing before don't hold as much interest for me and I spend my days not accomplishing very much which makes me feel worse. Every so often I have a burst of productivity but it's barely enough to be stressful at my business and this is going to soon become a major issue.
Previous to this I was always the one to help. I was the one that held things together, I was the organizer, I could always see things clearly and knew what direction to go and what to do and now I feel a little helpless and unmotivated and can't tell where the dragon is that needs to be slayed. all I do is sit and stare at the computer screen when I should be working. everything seems insurmountable... Where the hell is this coming from ?! MY Wife has been great, she is really trying to help me through whatever this is but it's not fair to her because I can't seem to get it together enough to contribute meaningfully to our future endeavors. I'm much better when she is here and can prod me along but that's not how it's supposed to be and she has to work.
Thanks I really hope someone can understand this..