not getting any better

[maximus1975]

i really do have a problem the more they reduce my benzos the greater i feel the need to drink really bad circle to be in , ive had 2 cans and half bottle of wine today but hardly took any of my meds work that out ? i just wanted that buzz of a drink and cig , can anyone understand that ? i no i can have a good life if i really put the effort in, i discused the option of me being on benzos for the rest of my life it took my bro 3 suicide attempts before they realised he will be on that med for life, if i loose the plot when im 60 so what at least i'll havve some good years , the mental health team have been usless to me always cancelling, i wonder if people like me should be in care? the days drag on i just wanna sleep all the time

[Emphyrio]

Have you spoken to your mental health team/GP about this? I guess you have to be honest and ask to stop the taper until you get to a better place.

[maximus1975]

been to see the dr and told her im in a very darl place at the moment , i have a problem with booze in that i binge and also use it in social sityations i just cand handle without a couple of pints at the moment, god i really do no now how addictive benzo's are now my body is screaming out for more this evening but ive already had my doses today, my dr agreed not to reduce my meds any further at the moment until i get a bit better, but im in a no win situation to play in my pool team i have to have a couple of beers first to calm me down, but if i dont play then i suffer feeling im a failure my brother plays in the same team , it would break me to see him going tomorrow night and im stuck at home in a world of anxiety thus making me very depressed .
so tomorrow is a massive day for me i have to get the bus into town practice for a couple then play my match can i handle this booze free?
if not sat i will feel guilty ans depressed that i had to drink to play pool:weep::weep:

[Sunshine77]

Hi Maximus,

I suffered with anxiety and depression for years and always drank with my tablets because alcohol gave me an escape from my feelings. What it also did though was to make the tablets ineffective. Plus it was counterproductive because the aftermath of a binge is worse anxiety, which I then had to drink on to make go away! Vicious circle.

In my case I was an alcoholic and eventually found Alcoholics Anonymous 8 years ago and have not drunk since. Up until recently, for those 8 years I was virtually free of anxiety and depression. What's happened to me recently is brought on by circumstance and I'm happy to say I haven't wanted or needed a drink through it.

I'm not calling you an alcoholic, please don't take offence, but I just wanted you to know that if you did feel like you needed some help with quitting the booze, there is help available. Take care :)

[Emphyrio]

Hi Maximus,

I know what alcohol is like - I didn't self medicate on it for anxiety but I did for depression. Its not nice and never helps long-term. But then again you can't just stop taking it and expect to get on with life. When you say you need a couple of beers - why not just have one beer and play pool? One may help you enough but also make you feel like you've achieved something by not drinking as much as you normally do?

[maximus1975]

thats what i was thinking have the bare minimum to get me through the evening then not drink till tuesday which is my nxt match and try and do that one beer free , i no its a bit of a cowards way out but im suffering at the moment

[Emphyrio]

Don't feel bad about yourself or call yourself a coward - you've just been used to using alcohol in the past for social situations and it will be difficult just to change it overnight.

You'd be more of a coward if you didn't even have any plans to change at all.

Also, you shouldn't feel bad about having a drink if you can keep it to moderation - there's nothing nicer than a nice cold pint every now and again!

[maximus1975]

but i have had pancretitis before although i was drinking a lot then , so drinking really should be a bit of a no no for me , i supposse i'll be ok as long as i dont go over the top just have enough to keep me calm , and then work on my confidence for playing without having to have a drink before the game , i dont expect im the only person in the world who has this problem, it is definatly an alchahol related problem though and it causes bad anxiety the next day , if i fail tonight perhaps i need to take a break from pool till im better i so dont want to though ??