tonight

[maximus1975]

woke up with a banging headache got this pool match tonight where about 30 people will be watchin, im already bricking and its not for another 11 hours . how an earth im gunna do it with out a bit of dutch courage i really dont no , im in a bad place confidence wise right now , my brother will be there tonight that might help a little bit , if i have a couple of pints tonight to calm me down and leave it at that then i wouldnt have a hangover in the morning but then i have a match nxt tuesday and friday i cant keep doing the same thing

[BobbyDog]

I wish you all the best for tonight.:hugs:

[meche]

Just jump right in! I really don't mean to sound harsh but just go and get on with it. I can't tell you the amount of times I've had to go somewhere or do something for whatever reason and I've felt panicked or worried by it. I force myself to go and once I'm there I've gone on to have a fantastic day, night, etc. If you need to have a pint then have one but stop there... and your brother is there for moral support. I hope you end up having a lovely evening... and winning your match. xx

[maximus1975]

i went to pool yesterday got the bus into town without a drink first which i guess is some sort of minor achievment then went straight to the local pub and had 3 pints just to calm me down for the match , when i got there my brother said you've been drinking , i said no i havnt ive just taken my meds and am very nervous which is why i was slurring , the fact was the meds and booze did this,
waited for the opponents to turn up and 2 of them were drunk i think one has a problem like mine as ive known him for a while, whilst my bro was playing i had another quick pint so in the space of 5 hours i'd had 4 pints.
i didnt have an attack i never do after a bit of dutch courage but cant really go on drinking every friday just to play pool all the teams venues have bars ( i would have a drink before i got to the venue anyway)
woke up this morning thinking catastrophically about what i'd done last night ,drank to get through a pool match. lied to my brother about drinking, luckily when we got back my mum was in bed so she wasnt up to smell my breath,
the whole day has been full of guilt and anger that i cant do the simple things in life without a beer first im supposse to be playing golf tomorrow but that is not gunna happen i cant drink to do that.
so im pullling out of the golf competition which makes me very depressed, i need to get some sober days under my belt , problem is i end up staying indoors where i feel safe

[impulse81]

I used alcohol to relieve panic attacks and anxiety..also social phobia and agoraphobia,I was an alcoholic for 9 years,I'm only 31,sober for 7 months,I'm still left with the anxiety,panic attacks,agoraphobia,I'm on waiting list for c.b.t..I'm hoping this is the answer because alcohol wasn't,I still get the urge to just have a drink when I need to go out :)

---------- Post added at 18:05 ---------- Previous post was at 18:01 ----------

I'm glad you have posted maxims nobody else on here seems to relate to my alcohol issues,u seem to be going threw what I have experienced

[Sunshine77]

Hi Impulse, I relate completely, I am 8 years sober and in AA :)

I have had very few anxiety issues during my sobriety although in recent months I have been very poorly with anxiety and panic, for reasons I won't bore you with (my other posts are more descriptive if you have a look). I too drank to cope with the general anxiety, the self-consciousness, social anxiety and the "can't bear to be in my own skin" feeling and like you it was my friend in this for some years before it turned round and kicked me in the ass. I was 27 when I got sober amd I have had some fabulous years since then. I congratulate you on your 7 months. :yesyes:

Maximus I wish you well and remember if you can't do it alone there is help out there and you are not alone

[impulse81]

Thank you for replying to my post,I was beginning to think that I was the only one who had used the alcohol for a short term fix,I feel more at ease now writing on here,I was beginning to think maybe I was on the wrong site,maybe an alcohol site would of been better,so thank you once again!:)

[maximus1975]

impulse trust me you are not the only one im a member of a booze forum and there are many people on there that are self medicating to calm there anxiety , its just so easy as it takes the anxiety away so quickly problem is u no that it will work so you get into a bad habit, at some point im gunna have to tackle this head on or i'll end up with serious health issues physically.
i already have enough mental health issues , its no fun knowing you need a beer before you do a social activity , im under huge pressure as i have pool again on tuesday and friday

[BobbyDog]

As you can see from others who have responded to your thread, you are not alone. I am an alcoholic and have been sober for nearly 10 years now.

Why not try phoning the AA help line, if they still have one. That is what I did when I decided enough is enough. I then started going along to weekly meetings for a while. Being able to openly discuss your feelings really helps take away some of the guilt we feel from drinking to excess. You seem to be able to control the amount of alcohol you consume, so it's probably not doing too much damage to your physical health, but it is damaging your mental health.

If you want to chat, please send me a PM.:hugs:

[impulse81]

Hi..I was an alcoholic for 9 years I couldn't walk corner shop without having a drink,I lost my children in the end because of it,I'm only 31,been sober for 7 months as I moved from Liverpool to greater Manchester for a fresh start,I don't have any friends and can't meet any as I have social phobia as well as agoraphobia,I'm supposed to be starting voluntary work in April as I threw unyielding the deep end to try and get on with my life,I'm absolutely dreading it to be honest,I just hope I see it threw,I was going to A.a for a while but panic attacks stopped me from going,I'm still waiting for c.b.t,I'm hoping this works as I am desperate to feel normal x x:)

[Sunshine77]

AA does still have a national helpline which is 0845 769 7555 and an email address where you can chat with someone online - help@alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

This is just my experience but I tried different ways to put the booze down for a long time before finding AA and this is the only way that has worked for me. Also I know that however bad I may feel today, having a drink would make it a million times worse.

Maximus good luck to you - as the others have said, you are not alone.

Impulse I really feel for you. Going to meetings is my salvation at the moment and really the only place that I feel safe and comfortable. If you want to chat any time just pm me.

:hugs:

[maximus1975]

really gutted today mum offered to take me on a walk along the beach front i just couldnt do it she doesnt understand how i cant manage it, its out of my comfort zone at the moment, why cant i just be able to act normal like everyone else?
guess it maybe having a few drinks on friday messed with my brain chemistry and im not recovering very well .
it's driving me mad that i cant carry out the simple of tasks i have to go to the drop in centre tomorrow in town its a place everyone meets that has anxiiety etc im dreading it , i really dont want to go . i managed a very small walk on my own this afternoon like 5 mins but i guess its a start

[Annie0904]

A 5 minute walk is a start and a very positive one. I know it doesn't seem like much but it is! keep reminding yourself what you have done and not what you haven't. well sone for the walk! :hugs:

[BobbyDog]

really gutted today mum offered to take me on a walk along the beach front i just couldnt do it she doesnt understand how i cant manage it, its out of my comfort zone at the moment, why cant i just be able to act normal like everyone else?
guess it maybe having a few drinks on friday messed with my brain chemistry and im not recovering very well .
it's driving me mad that i cant carry out the simple of tasks i have to go to the drop in centre tomorrow in town its a place everyone meets that has anxiiety etc im dreading it , i really dont want to go . i managed a very small walk on my own this afternoon like 5 mins but i guess its a start

If you feel up to it, the drop in sounds like a really great idea, at least you can relax a little, knowing that the people you are mixing with also suffer from anxiety.