View Full Version : Holiday- Shall I go ?
Hi everyone,
New to this site today !
I have a dilemma.....
Both my sisters and my mum have booked a surprise weekend away for my birthday ro spain, leaving this friday 08/09.
I have said I'm not going because my anxiety id bad at the moment and I never fully relax when I'm abroad because I hate being away from home. I have only ever been abroad with my partner and he knows how to calm me down and to distract me, But he has recently gone finished with me so I am terrified of going.
My mum and my sisters said they totally understand but are still going.
I know I will feel terrible staying at home but I will feel terrible if I go, I just wish I was normal and could be one of those people that says I'm just popping over to spain for the weekend and think nothing of it. But no I have built it up into this horrible event and think I'm going to die of a panic attack in spain.
I dont know what to do ??
Can anyone give me any advice ?
Granny Primark
06-09-06, 21:22
Hi laura,
I really do sympathise. Last year we booked a holiday to Turkey. The holiday was booked in may and we were due to go in october. In july i started suffering with panic and on the day of departure i had a massive panic attack and couldnt go. My hubby daughter and her boyfriend went without me.
It was really horrible as i so desperately needed that holiday.
Im sure if id have gone it would have been a massive help in me getting over my panic and anxiety.
No one can tell you what to do, theres only you know how you feel and can make that decision for yourself.
I really hope things work out fine for you.
Take care
LYNN xx
p.s Welcome to this brilliant site.
Hi Laura,
Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.
Remember no one has ever died from panic, so thats one worry off the list, do you use anything for distraction when you feel anxious? if so pack all these in your weekend bag and go and have a fantastic time, the break will probably do you good.
Take care
Trac xxx
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
Hi,
Thankyou so much for your replies.........I find rescue remedy helps me but I'm not allowed to take any liquids on the plane.......my mum just asked me again are you sure you dont want to come ?
The fact is I do want to go but if im having anxiety and panic the whole time it will ruin everyone holiday.....I just dont know what to do.
groovygranny
06-09-06, 21:33
Hello Laura, welcome!:)
I'll go!![8D]
Seriously though, how sad if you missed a great oportunity like this! I really don't know what to suggest to help you to think of all the great reasons why you should go rather than have that awful sinking feeling of regret if you don't. I felt the same way when I was going to Spain back in June. I was on the way to recovery and there it was again - the wave of anxiety and panic weighing me down so that I didn't go. But I did and what a great time I had! Even when I had an anxiety attack on the third day and wanted to just get on the first flight home!! Thankfully I didn't (positive thoughts over negative!) and had the most wonderful time.
However, as loopylynn says it is up to you as only you can make the decision to go or not. I hope you decide to go and enjoy your surprise!
Lotsa Luv
xxx[^]
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
Thansk groovy granny thats really inspirational.........you hit the nail on the head there......I have had that thought before of just wanting to close my eyes and be back home....its awful......so when u wanted to go home how did you get over that to enjoy the rest of your holiday ??
groovygranny
06-09-06, 21:51
Just the thought of all the hassle to find a flight back home, the probable heated discussion with my usually very patient hubby when I told him my plans, all the money we had paid for the holiday (not a lot but it would all be wasted if we went home early!) and all the increased ANXIETY the aforementioned would cause me!! Also, I really did not want it to get the better of me so I sat it out dozed for a while ( which meant I had to stop pacing up and down - one of my anxiety 'procedures') and allowed myself the time to just 'come down from anxiety mountain'.
Please, please, please say you'll go - wanting to is half the battle! :D
Lotsa Luvxxx
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
groovy granny your rally making me think now !
Why cant we just be normal.........I feel really positive tonight (prob the wine as well ! ) but I know as soon as I board the plane the TERROR and horrible thoughts will start and I'll want to get off....especially not allowing myself to have my rescue remedy with me.........
but is the feeling of Ive done it worth the weekend of anxiety ?
nomorepanic
06-09-06, 22:05
Hi Laura
Will Rescue Remedy really help you on the flight? Would you be happier if you could take it with you? If so then I can try and find out for you if they will let you take it on board as I work for an airline.
Let me know and I can look into it for you ok?
You can do this ok and we wish you all the luck and a fab holiday.
Nicola
Hi Nicola,
That would be great if you could find out....yeah it would make me feel a lot happier about going !
I am flying with easyjet.
Thank you all so much you are all wonderful people....
Laura.x
nomorepanic
06-09-06, 22:21
Ok Laura - I will ask around tomorrow and let you know ok?
I work for ThomsonFly but the rules will be the same.
Watch this space ok?
Is it the spray one or the one you mix with water/take neat?
Nicola
polly daydream
07-09-06, 00:37
Hi Laura and welcome to the forum. What a lovely suprise a weekend in spain, you must have a great family. It's such a shame that you are not going, at least give it some more thought, panic can't hurt you I know it's easy to say because I am the same but I don't let anxiety rule my life if I can help it. Go on you can do it, go and have some fun, you deserve it.
Good luck,
Polly x
nomorepanic
07-09-06, 10:05
Ok Laura
There could be some good news!
You will NOT be allowed to take Rescue Remedy with you through the security checks.
However - if there is a chemist (most likely Boots) at the Airport and they sell Rescue Remedy then you will be allowed to purchase it there and take it on the aircraft with you.
What I suggest you do is look on the Boots website to see if they have a branch at the relevant airport you are flying from and then call them to see if they sell it.
Hope this helps?
Nicola
Hi Laura
I really feel for you because it is so scary just thinking about a change in routine sometimes.
I was like that a year ago and ended up having such a massive panic attack that my husband called an ambulance because we both thought I was having a heart attack. Iwas due to go to France that day with my husband & some friends and of course we had to cancel as I was in hospital (where I calmed down very quickly once they told me I was fine but just panicking).
Anyway I went to France with my husband and friends this Easter and even though I was quite nervous I stayed as strong as I could and went for it - want to tell you I had a great time.
I think you should go - dont let this ruin your life. Two things that helped me is Bach Rescue Remedy and also a weird one but it helps. If you can feel yourself start to panic or your heart starts to race then put your thumb in your mouth and blow really hard on your thumb like you are trying to blow it up. This stimulates a gland in your neck that slows down the heart rate and calms you. It does help really.
Your mum and sister will be there to help you keep calm I'm sure but I hope you manage to go and enjoy your break for your birthday.
NickyG
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hi everyone,
New to this site today !
I have a dilemma.....
Both my sisters and my mum have booked a surprise weekend away for my birthday ro spain, leaving this friday 08/09.
I have said I'm not going because my anxiety id bad at the moment and I never fully relax when I'm abroad because I hate being away from home. I have only ever been abroad with my partner and he knows how to calm me down and to distract me, But he has recently gone finished with me so I am terrified of going.
My mum and my sisters said they totally understand but are still going.
I know I will feel terrible staying at home but I will feel terrible if I go, I just wish I was normal and could be one of those people that says I'm just popping over to spain for the weekend and think nothing of it. But no I have built it up into this horrible event and think I'm going to die of a panic attack in spain.
I dont know what to do ??
Can anyone give me any advice ?
<div align="right">Originally posted by laura442 - 06 September 2006 : 21:52:12</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
god I am totally panicking tonight........i go in the morning.....I feel so awful
Hi there, Please do it...you said in one of your posts that you panic at home and when away? So you may as well do it in Spain (not meant to sound flippant) You will and definately can survive this...Once you get to your apartment/hotel, make this your new safe place, if you don't fancy going out and about once you are there, let the others go whilst you read/relax etc..Read all the old posts here regarding holidys/flights etc. print them off and read them if neccessary. No-one ever died from panic, yes it makes you dizzy/can't breathe/palpitations/etc..etc..but you will survive like you have every other time. Please go, cos you will be so proud of yourself and have a lovely well earnt break, and think of all the advice you can give back to us here on this site!!! You can do it!!!! xxxxxxxxxxJean p.s HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
oh thank you that just made me cry.......
You know what I'm going to go, not just for me but for each and every one of you that suffers every day because I believe we should not give into this monster........ok I'll prob be bad but if we dont fight we dont get anywhere do we ?
Yay :D wohooo. You so should go. Give the anxiety a big kick up the backside!!!! haha. I dont know if you've read my post but this weekend Ive got to get up on stage in front of LOADS of people and i am sooo nervous just thinking about it but I'm so determined to do it, just to prove that panic will not ruin my life. Go on girlie you can do it [^]
and dont foget that when you get back we want to hear all about it [8D]
P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"
ok thank you all so much for all your support and messages .....it has really made the difference between me going and not going....you should all feel proud of yourself to know you have really helped and encouraged me xxxxxxxxx
polly daydream
07-09-06, 22:45
Hi Laura, have a wonderful time, so glad you decided to go.
Let us know how it goes,
Take care
Polly
when I am at the airport tomorrow I am going to imagine all of you cheering me saying " you can do it laura "
polly daydream
07-09-06, 22:54
Will be thinking of you.
Good luck!
Polly x
Hi Laura
Go for it and have a really great time.
You can do it and you will be so proud of yourself once you have been. Just think how miserable you would be feeling this weekend if you didnt go and your family were off having a great time without you.
Make sure you focus on good thoughts and keep yourself nice and calm. Keep thinking about how great you are going to feel when you have done it and won the battle.
HAVE A FAB TIME AND A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Nicky:D
Hi Laura, bit late i know but only just back from hols myself so havent been here for a bit. Just wanted to say hope you went in the end!!! Let us all know how it went luv kaz x
Hi Guys,
Well im back and I did it. Did I enjoy it ? well parts were ok but had loads of panic attacks and didnt sleep much at all.
What I did get out of it is that when I was having panic attacks I didnt run away from the situation, you will not faint or have a heart attack I just breathed through them and they passed. I even went to a huge spanish shopping mall and i cant even deal with them in this country.........so amI glad I went well not really my sisters were really intolerent ( a couple of night I couldnt eat my meals and had to go back to the apartment) my mum was there thank god and she was great really looked after me.
So to sum up it wasnt a great holiday but \i have learnt for now at least that the attacks arent as frightening and if you can breath through them and use positive thinking you will be ok. I actually didnt have one panic attack on the flight last night so I guess I did gain some insight into how to control them. Also in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep and I was pacing the apartment breathing through them I was reading your messages which I printed off and they really helped.....so thank you all so much my new and wonderful friends x
I can do this !
Carolinemargaret
12-09-06, 22:52
Hi
Just wanted to say a big Congratulations to you, thats fantastic, it may have been hard but the more we try the easier it gets(or so they say and they must be right ;))!! I have chickened out of things before and when you realise that you didnt do something and you are still here and you haven't died, you feel really silly and depressed. So even if there was low points, it doesnt matter, because you have made a massive step forward that no one can ever take away from you.
I am meant to be going away with my friend at the beginning of Oct and I ahve already started worrying and not wanting to go, but your story has given me a bit more courage to just go and do it!!
You should be VERY VERY proud of yourself!!
Caroline x
groovygranny
13-09-06, 10:28
You brave, brave girl!! [^][^][^]
We are all so proud of you - and so should you!
Now you are more prepared for next time?!!;)
Lotsa Luv xxx
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
Hi darling, now that post made me cry this time!!! You have done so well. You didn't let anyone down, especially yourself. Thank goodness mumsie was there, as for your sisters, no probs. they don't mean any harm, just don't understand? You went, you dealt with so many different situations/panics/heat/change of enviroment/meals out, gosh the list goes on, but you did it!!!!! As you said, you didn't faint nor have a heart attack, so things will get easier each time you go out. Think of everything you have done over the last few weeks, you done good girlie!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxxJean
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