MooBear
16-02-13, 23:31
Hello there. :)
Not sure if I should be here or not, I can't tell if I'm a fraud or if I really have a problem. I have had three major depressions, the last one about 3 years ago. Since then I have felt ok, though in retrospect my mood has probably been quite flat that whole time. In the last few months I've come to realise that that in itself probably isn't ok. I'm pretty sure I have some sort of social phobia, though I have never mentioned these symptoms to my GP in the past. I avoid the phone like mad, and regularly avoid any social gatherings, specifically where I am not in control of who is there. This is something I have done since my teens, I'm 38 now! In the past couple of weeks I've been pretty bad, weepy, stressed, and incredibly anxious. Constantly feeling that awful nervous sick feeling you get before a job interview, for example. My concentration is all over the place.
Every time I've started to feel very low, to the point where I have felt I should see a doctor, I have picked up again so haven't bothered. That's happened regularly over the last 18 months. I was so bad in the last couple of weeks that my line manager noticed, and he took me away for a very long chat. He was utterly lovely, and urged me to seek help. I made a GP appointment on Friday after feeling atrocious all day. Today I have felt fine. Better than fine, completely normal and untouched by any symptom. Now I don't know what to do. Do I really need help or do I just need to pull my socks up? When I know how hard it is to get out of bed when you're in a deep depression, it seems odd to me to seek help when I feel like this. Of course, on Monday my mind could be utterly black again... Who knows?
Anyway, that was terribly long and rambly. :blush: I hope it made some sense, and I'd be grateful if anyone had an opinion to offer. :)
Not sure if I should be here or not, I can't tell if I'm a fraud or if I really have a problem. I have had three major depressions, the last one about 3 years ago. Since then I have felt ok, though in retrospect my mood has probably been quite flat that whole time. In the last few months I've come to realise that that in itself probably isn't ok. I'm pretty sure I have some sort of social phobia, though I have never mentioned these symptoms to my GP in the past. I avoid the phone like mad, and regularly avoid any social gatherings, specifically where I am not in control of who is there. This is something I have done since my teens, I'm 38 now! In the past couple of weeks I've been pretty bad, weepy, stressed, and incredibly anxious. Constantly feeling that awful nervous sick feeling you get before a job interview, for example. My concentration is all over the place.
Every time I've started to feel very low, to the point where I have felt I should see a doctor, I have picked up again so haven't bothered. That's happened regularly over the last 18 months. I was so bad in the last couple of weeks that my line manager noticed, and he took me away for a very long chat. He was utterly lovely, and urged me to seek help. I made a GP appointment on Friday after feeling atrocious all day. Today I have felt fine. Better than fine, completely normal and untouched by any symptom. Now I don't know what to do. Do I really need help or do I just need to pull my socks up? When I know how hard it is to get out of bed when you're in a deep depression, it seems odd to me to seek help when I feel like this. Of course, on Monday my mind could be utterly black again... Who knows?
Anyway, that was terribly long and rambly. :blush: I hope it made some sense, and I'd be grateful if anyone had an opinion to offer. :)