Hi everyone! I'm fed up with anxiety!

[LynseyLP]

Hi everyone. I’m Lynsey. I’m 25 and have been suffering from panic attacks and constant anxiety for two months now. When I had my first panic attack, I had no idea that’s what was happening to me. I had been totally fine, and had been reading a new spiritual book about non-duality. I don’t know if anyone else knows about this, but it is the idea that everything is ‘one’, and phrases are often used like ‘there is no one there’ or ‘there is only this’ etc. It probably doesn’t make much sense but I had been reading about it for a couple of years and been intrigued by it. After putting the book down, ready to go to sleep, this extreme feeling of fear/dread/terror came over me and I seized up. Then I was trembling like never before and had the strangest tingling at the back of my head. I have never been so terrified in my life and stayed wide awake for most of the night. The main fear that came over me seemed to be related to the book. I had this major fear that my husband wasn’t really ‘real’; he wasn’t ‘there’. So, I thought this experience I had was down to the book – like it was some kind of insight. It was as if the reality I’d always known was a lie, and I was seeing the world the way it really is.

It never would have occurred to me that I had a panic attack until a woman at work said it sounded like that’s what it was. I snapped out of it after 24 hours but then it came back. A few weeks later I went to the doctor who confirmed it was panic attacks. She gave me 14 diazepam tablets to get me through the stressful time of moving house (moving town) and leaving work (which surely must be the cause of all this in the first place). I only took half of the tablets but still think about taking them often, and I’m glad they’re there as a backup.

The constant anxiety I’m experiencing is quite overwhelming. I am constantly analysing everything around me. The book I read has left me with these thoughts that when I look at people around me, they aren’t really there. They are just visions in front of me, and they don’t really have thoughts like I assumed they did. This makes me feel really alone and terrified. I feel it coming on now as I write it and don’t want to write about it anymore.

I’ve felt better today after finding this website and being able to relate to a lot of what people here have said. It has made me feel positive, but I also keep having this lingering feeling that there’s only me in the world and I’m alone. I feel like no one can help me. I wonder what the point of life is when I don’t even know where I came from. I don’t know the meaning of life, what my purpose is, or what happens when I die. I am terrified of dying because I just don’t understand how I can die. I can’t imagine ever feeling normal again, and most of the time I feel sick with nerves.

Sorry for this really long post. I hope I can be part of this forum and get through this with everyone.

Lynsey

[matilda]

Wow thats a deep one!!! Welcome to the forum tho everyone is really lovely.

[clickaway]

Welcome aboard, Lynsey.

On this ship we are all saling towards Recovery. As you scan this forum, every so often you will see 'postcards' from people who have already arrived there:D

Take Care,

Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[yorkylover]

Hi you are not alone with these feelings and you will find alot of help here.:)

Ellen XX

[polly daydream]

Hi Lynsey and welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place.

Best wishes,

Polly

[manmoor]

Hi Lynsey,

A big warm welcome to you.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[mad_shell66]

hi linz, welcome to no more panic.
im sure you will find the support you need from no more panic.
good luck
shellxx

[trac67]

Hi Lyndsey,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[LynseyLP]

Thanks everyone. I'm not sure where to start with this so I'll keep on reading for now. I feel a bit more normal today but I feel like I'm fighting so hard to stay 'sane'! It's tiring. Looking forward to getting to know you all.

Lynsey

[tamla]

hi lynsy i just want to share one of my earlier experiences with you it might just make you feel a little bit better knowing your not alone on this one. anyway here goes mine started a good few years ago i was sitting watching telle when all of a sudden i had this buzzing sensation at the back of my head and everythink around me just seemed to feel unreal i remember looking at my son who was only 16months at the time i had this terrible thought of wanting to harm him i jumped up and ran and sat on the toilet my stomach was turning over and i was trembing with fright the terrible thoughts were did they come from i ran down stairs took one look at my husband burst in to tears and said help me i think im going insane he sat and laughed at me then all of a sudden i started shouting at him and accusing him of trying to poison me it was then he new somethink was wrong and drove me to the hospital iwas seen by a doctor who said i was suffering from anxiety she gave me a script for antidepressents and diazipam and wanted to send me home i went mad and the tears were rolling down my face i said please dont send me home im scared i might harm my children as i was getting weird thoughts she then said to me your not going to harm your children and your not going in sane the simple reason was i new there was somethink wrong with me and went for help she then said people that are insane dont think there is anythink wrong with them and i was just experiancing anxiety i wouldent have any of it i told her she was putting my children at risk by sending me home while ive got these thoughts in my head to harm them she then told me you wont harm your children cos your frightend of doing so if iwas insane i would just do it without any thought at all well i suppose that made sence and i was happy with that so i went home iwas so scared i couldent sleep ur eat for months as i wasnt myself i lived with these feelings for along time i didnt feel real and everythink around me wasnt real i kept thinking mad things like wot are we were did we come from and so on.do u no the brain is so powerful it holds alot of unwanted and fearful thoughts i often say id love to take my brain out and give it a good clean get rid of all these unwanted thoughts and replace them with happy ones.anyway hun i could go on and on with wot ive experienced over the the years but as we all no there just thoughts which carnt harm us there not very pleasent we no. its stole alot of my life and i guess alot of others aswell but were all here years on to talk to others like yourself that it does pass and youll be fine honestly hun and anyway this is a great sight i wish they had it when i was new to anxiety and panic cos i would of known there were others like me so take care hun you,ll be fine




t motown

[Granny Primark]

Hi Lyndsey,

Welcome to this site.
Anxiety and stress cause so many different symptons and i think most people suffer from irrational thoughts.
I hope this site helps you.

Take care
LYNN xx

[ksmith]

Sounds like one one hell of a book!!!

Good luck - hope the forum offers you some answers

Kay

[kitty24]

I'm so glad to hear you all say this as i have had this kind of sensation too. The back of my neck sometimes tingles inside almost like there is a chemical reaction going on that results in an explosion of panic. As you Lynsey i felt as if everyone around me weren't really real or there, my perception of everything around me almost looked like i was watching a film and i was in some kind of bubble which was awful. Is a symptom though as when i started on the citalopram it all eased off.
Tamla hits the nail on the head there - i wanted to take my brain and mind out and give them a good old clean,i thought my head would explode at some points because of all the thoughts and worries going through my mind,leaving me very confused. I had all sorts of horrible terrifying thoughts in my mind but in my heart i knew they were just horrible thoughts even though they seemed so real and made me scared. The mind and brain are so powerful it is frightening really!
Welcome to the site Lynsey, you'll find this site really comforting - i definately have:-)

[ceecee]

hi lynsey welcome to the forum
take care rachel x

[mili]

i to have these horrible thoughts but worst of all i get them as soon as i open my eyes in the mornings and when alone in the house when my husband is on 12 hour shifts its lonely and scarry but i am coping to the best of my abilaty .start doing jobs to take my mind off them but soon loose interest and move on to do something else.but that doesnt last for long just finished going to work due to this stress and anxiety but i dont know if this was the right thing to do as when working you have to try and hide the fears and get on with work also there is always at work someone there to talk to.if anyone wants to chat please do so.love from linda:)

l.m.bell

[juju]

hi,
i can relate a bit to these thoughts and feelings, it is def triggered by anxiety/depression, i developed ocd through these obsessive, repetitive thought cycles, trying to "figure it all out", deep anylysing etc.
i dont mean to scare anyone and in no way does it mean that its the same thing, but it does def hit me hard.

the only advice i can give to you would be to ignore the thoughts when they come its just your brain messing with you anyway, and its not yourself really thinking this way right now, dont let it panic you, and dont try to run away or fight your feelings, just let it wash over you or even laugh at these images etc.

anyway welcome to the forum, again dont let this worry you, its nice to have somewhere to come and chat
take care
julie.

we are all stronger people after having this

[nomorepanic]

Hi Lynsey

Welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help to you

Nicola