tragic loss

[maximus1975]

ive just found out ive lost a very good friend to depression/anxiety today, this has shook me right up as im getting thoughts of suicide and dont no how much longer i can stay locked up in my house , my mum kindly offered to take me for a walk along the seafront today which i couldnt manage that really hurt me, she finds it very difficult to understand and hates to see me inside all the time , but when im this anxious i dont feel like i have any choice . if i go out and have a full blown panic attack its gunna do me no good rip tony x

[LucyR]

Tragic and terrible. Hang in there and take it one step at a time.

[maximus1975]

im trying but im feeling verypoorly and my melds are calming the anxiety a little but doing nothing dor my depression

[Serenitie]

I'm so sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your friend. This is such sad news. You must be devastated. I really feel for you.

Make sure that you ask for support when you need it to get you through this painful grieving process and be very kind and gentle with yourself.

You are in my thoughts x

[maximus1975]

thankyou im worried about myself coz unless your reatained under the mental health act there is nowhere to go down here , your just left with your meds and the odd visit from a counsellor and told to get on with it, i should never have been weaned of my lorazepam as fast as i was i was doing ok till then but they wont allow me back on it im trapped in my own home

[Ribbit]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. It really must have shaken you to the core. Be kind to yourself Max xx

[Serenitie]

I can understand and empathise with your situation. I am agoraphobic and could not leave my home last year. I was very socially isolated and my world felt very small.

Things have improved for me as they will for you. Just give yourself time and be patient as you take small steps towards progress.

You are not totally isolated as you mentioned your Mum. You also have people on here to lean on for support.

There is a wonderful helpline for anxiety sufferers run by http://www.nopanic.org.uk/ The people on the helpline have suffered themselves and understand anxiety from personal experience. I used this help line a lot last year and found it really helpful to get through a very low ebb and have hope in the future again. Why not give it a try? 0800 138 8899.

Take care and try to take one day and one step at a time.

[Daisy Sue]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, and also to hear how bad you're struggling right now, & I hope you can find the right help very soon.
:(

[maximus1975]

thanks for you replys i may well phone that number tomorrow after my cpn nurse has been, im just so very tired tonight the stress my heads been through today is just to much for me to take, now tomorrow to i go into the drop in centre with the cpn or have my session here , she will want me to go into the centre to meet people having problems like me, why oh why did they mess with my meds i was doing well i couldnt care less if they affect me badly in later life i want to enjoy life now . my bros on benzos for the rest of his life so why cant i be

[Serenitie]

You must be exhausted after the shock and emotional turmoil you have been through today. Try to get some rest even if you find sleeping difficult. Have a lie down and listen to something soothing. These free meditations are very good http://www.fragrantheart.com/cms/free-audio-meditations

Try not to look back and ruminate on what ifs. None of us can change the past but we can all do things to improve the present and our future.

Let me know how you get on with the helpline. Take care & rest well.

[maximus1975]

at the moment i just want the days to be over with as the only time i seem to be happy is when im asleep, the cpn nurse will be here in just over 2 hours and im not looking forward to going to this drop in centre at all

[Annie0904]

There was a time when I felt just like you thinking I had no quality of life any more. I am not saying things are perfect now but I have a lot more good days than bad and I can treat each bad day as a little blip and know that they are getting less frequent. You can do this Max! Give the drop in centre a try if you can. It may or may not be for you but you won't know unless you try. Make sure you tell your CPN just how low you are at the moment. :hugs:

[maximus1975]

dont worry i will be telling her that , ive woke feeling really dodgy today im on edge and quite shakey it has to be the withdrawal from these benzo's , its a really nasty feeling somebody told me its as bad as coming of herione which didnt fill me with much confidence , but im beginning to see where there coming from

[xtremx]

Hello maximus1975

I have lost 2 friends in the last 2 months one was only 24 he died on new years day he died due alcohol poisoning (all to do with a woman and his child) and another freind committed suicide over in the usa last monday he was 40 and he had it all money the house and two beautiful kids(I found out as it was on foxnews).

Both of them were really good people a laugh and really had a lot to live for but for some reason or other it was not enough...

I myself hurt a lot for my friend in america as I was on facebook the day before it all happened and he was online and I was going to chat to him but I did not for some reason I wish I had now maybe no of this would have happened. Maybe I could have done nothing about it but who knows.

Your pain you are feeling is a normal respone to a tragic loss and you are taking really positive steps to help by talking about it..

As Annie said try this drop in centre it maybe what you need.

Take care m8

[maximus1975]

sorry to hear that , thats shoking news i just cant stand waking up every morning feeling worthless does anyone else get that ? my hearts going like mad at the moment i cant seem to calm down , yesterday i had songs coming into my head all day long like i was going mad

[Annie0904]

You are not going mad, you are ill...there is a difference :). I have had many days like that..days were I just felt like banging my head off the bedroom wall thinking this hell was never going to end. Now I can look back and say "I am pleased I didn't give up!"

[xtremx]

sorry to hear that , thats shoking news i just cant stand waking up every morning feeling worthless does anyone else get that ? my hearts going like mad at the moment i cant seem to calm down , yesterday i had songs coming into my head all day long like i was going mad

What you are talking about is a very big part of what makes us who were are.

Mate my little girl watches all the cartoons I walk around for weeks with the damn songs runnig over and over in my head I think I know the words better than the TV does.

We all get things come into our heads and we can't shake them out but it does mean we are going mad...

Your worthless are you I would ask you to think again I see you like playing Pool and Snooker Cool so do I, I love both sports was at one stage a very fine player Played snooker with Willie Thorne at his Snooker Centre in Leicester (I was the youngest fully paid member at one stage) it cost a small fortune to be a member but my mum made cut backs and got me in.

I never forget a 11year old boy and his mum walk in all the great snooker plays having a drink and me in my ripped jeans with beer mats sewed onto them LOL i looked a mess.

But I see you were asked to play on the local pool team. Did he ask you because you are worthless NO you got asked because you have people that think highly of you.

The only time we find our true worth is when we think we are worthless and then you find out that you bring a lot to the world.

Look you made me remember something that brought a lot of joy to my life...