Getting very scared now... :'(

[KieranH960]

Prewarning, this will be a long one...
So here it is:

My anxiety and OCD had gotten so severe over the past few days to the point where I'm now not eating or drinking...
What I'm doing is:
- Spitting everywhere because I'm scared that if I swallow my spit I will die, so if I do swallow it I run to the sink to make myself sick...
- Refusing to touch any of my food as I've convinced myself that there is always something on my hands, which will pass onto my food, which I will eat, thus I will die... If I eat anything I touch, I go and throw up... If I do touch it, I throw it away...
- I kind of like, assess my food? But I'll get to a point where I'll think 'This food is covered in germs that will kill me', so I will stop eating and put it in the bin, another reason why I'm not eating...
- I'm a huge clean freak so will wash things several times before I use anything.
- I worry over the slightest things.
- Above all of that, I've become really upset by all this and will often just start crying randomly...

I'm 16, and my mam is making me an emergency appointment at the Doctor, which is added to my list of worry's... Whats he going to do? :( Someone please relate and help me :(

[EmilyK83]

Sorry to hear that, Kieran :( I'm the same with the cleanliness issue, if my boyfriend does ANYTHING in the kitchen without washing his hands, I really snap at him - can't bear the thought of eating anything that may have germs on it or even using plates that have been touched by someone who hasn't just washed their hands.

It's worth reading up on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) - I had a course of it for my anxiety and it really helped. Can be prescribed on the NHS too x

[lotus]

Dear Kieran

I'm sorry you feel this way. I know how distressing OCD can be.

Basically the way to proceed with this problem is the following:

Expose yourself to the obsessive thought and the associated anxiety
Feel it, let it be there
Don't react to the thought and don't try to deal with it in any way - don't try to fight it, suppress it, push it away, avoid it, escape from it, "figure it out" or "solve it"
Don't perform the rituals and bear the anxiety - anxiety can't kill you, it just feels like hell
Once you stop the rituals it will increase, so will the distressing thoughts, but then with time they will eventually die down
There is no way around this, you have to learn to tolerate the anxiety
As long as you keep doing the rituals, the anxiety will keep persisting


Try telling yourself this -

"My saliva and my food might be contaminated and covered in germs that will kill me. I'll take the risk, live with the uncertainty and swallow/eat anyway."

Also you can try blowing it out of proportion -

"My hands are so dirty and covered with germs, that I will contaminate all the food in the fridge, which will kill me,then the disease will spread and kill everyone living on my street, and then everyone in the neighborhood, then there'll be a full blown epidemic in the whole country, all because of me and my germs. And all the animals and birds will die too."

[Anxious_gal]

You cannot go more than 4 days without water or you will die!
Now that is real. You need to drink fluids not just water.
Try soup :)

If you don't drink by the 3rd day get yourself to hospital so they can rehydrate you by hooking you up to drip.

It'll be ok, you'll get the help you need from the doctor, don't fear therapy or hospitals as they are there to help you.

There's also a lot of medications that can help.

It's your body and you know what you need to do in order to stay healthy.
Eat and drink!
The OCD are just thoughts, the more you do what they say the worse it gets not better.
You will feel fear and anxiety if you eat and drink due to the thoughts but that will pass and you'll see/learn that nothing bad actually happened.

[Col]

Hi, I don't want to be blunt BUT you thinking food +bugs = death. LOOK - You not eating or drinking will do the same, Infact.....there's NO contest because the bug on food thing, to the point it will kill you, is a rare statistic in the developed world! A bit of a doddgy tummy maybe from time to time, that's all. You need to seek medical help over your phobia ASAP because not eating but certainly,not drinking for prolonged periods of time is extreamly dangerous!

Take care.

[lotus]

You can't reason with OCD. The sufferer knows it's completely illogical, but he can't stand the anxiety associated with the thoughts. That's the problem. You can't out-logic OCD, you have to bear the anxiety, accept the risk/doubt/uncertainty, and do what you want to do, not what the OCD is telling you to.

Kieran please post as soon as you can to tell us what's going on with you.

[Daisy Sue]

Keiran, don't be scared about seeing the doctor - this is your first step to getting better, so try and change your attitude to looking forward to it, even if it's going to be a bit difficult to talk about, the first time. Yours is a classic condition that thousands of other people have, and come out the other side - you can too, with the right help.

As has been said, logic is far weaker than the anxiety thoughts we have, but try to repeat to yourself that before all this started, you ate & drank normally with no ill-effects... you probably even played out when you were a kid and ate with dirty hands - and you survived. This is similar to what I tell myself when I feel I 'need' a cigarette (stopped 7 months ago) - I didn't need it when I was a child, I don't need it now..

[Col]

you can't reason with ocd. The sufferer knows it's completely illogical, but he can't stand the anxiety associated with the thoughts. That's the problem. You can't out-logic ocd, you have to bear the anxiety, accept the risk/doubt/uncertainty, and do what you want to do, not what the ocd is telling you to.

Kieran please post as soon as you can to tell us what's going on with you.

Well in this situation whats the alternative - death?????
Thats why i said sensibly , as have others - to go and see a doctor asap!!!!! PLUS ALL ANXIETY RELATED ISSUE & PEOPLE ON HERE ALL OBVIOUSLY UNDERSTAND THINGS ARE NEVER STRAIGHT FORWARD AND ARE COMPLEXED DISORDERS.

KIERAN LOVE GO & SEE YOUR DOCTOR AND GET PROFESSIONAL ADVICE BECAUSE YOU CERTAINLY NEED TO KEEP HYDRATED & ALSO EMOTIONAL SUPPORT!!!

[Khadijah]

Hi, I am soooo sorry to hear you are feeling like this :(

Do you think there is any specific reason that this has came on more severe over the last few days? Added stress or worry over anything?

I have heard alot about CBT, and it is meant to work wonders! Maybe mention this to your Doctor, I suppose anything is worth a try!

I have constant negative thoughts about dying, I am convinced I will die of a heart attack, it drives me crazy! I have a feeling mine is thyroid related, i.e the negative thoughts and anxiety. Maybe ask to get your thyroid checked too :flowers:

I hope you start to feel better soon!

[KieranH960]

Sorry I forgot about this... I went to the GP and got an emergency referral to SIPS, Was seen within the week and I began eating again. I am now seeing a psychologist and am having CBT with Health Anxiety creeping up every so often. Thanks all for your concern, I didn't think I'd gotten this many replied...

[Bonnibelle]

Well done. Hope all keeps going well for you :)