hello im really lost and need help

[fabio27]

I really dont know where to start i guess by saying im a married 31 yr old male and dad of 2, when I was 16 i smoked cannabis until I was 21 which I gave up because it made me have a feeling of not being able to breath ect I have never recovered from these 'attacks' actually got worse

forgive me for my long winded post i really want to get this off my chest i can only hope someone offers me advice

my big problem is despite being to hospital over the last 10 years countless times i dont believe its caused by panic attacks and have been told its not my heart its in my head I have had ECG'S bloodwork x-rays treadmill tests all normal except sinus bradycardia once on an ECG and diagnosed with IBS and spastic colon

I really am not living at the moment I have been a stay at home dad for 5 years because I cannot hold a job because I have these attacks at work and have been taken away in ambulances before.I do not work out I am very sedentary if im not doing something for my daughter i just dont work out because they can bring on the attacks i suffer sometimes it doesnt go for days on end.

I have chest pains all over and sometimes sudden weird pains like my hearts being crushed in someones hands, I always feel lethargic especially the last week or so I feel like i have been drugged no energy at all my arms feel dead.i guess I should list what I feel

out of breath
chest pains
lethargic
heart feels like its jumping around but is beating normally when my wife listens to it
pain in left arm
pain in left fingers
pain between shoulder blades
feeling like being strangled or drowning if that makes sense like suffocating
sudden sharp stinging neck pains
calf pains when walking or after walking
leg pains

I am unsure if some of these are due to my fitness levels being so bad since i dont move and havent for years, my thing is I am terrified im going to have a heart attack and im being given warning signs like i finally went swimming with my kids last week after feeling lethargic really badly and having these facial flushes and warm feeling all over

i was having a good time working out when suddenly i got a very very strange numb pain in the center of chest that radiatiated near my heart i freaked out but kept cool if front of my children I felt like it was caused my exercising because i stopped and it passed but came back when i moved again

I was told i had high cholesterol in 2010 but i have now got this down to normal again, when i found out i was convinced my arterys are blocked from it being high and maybe i have heart disease i have only just giving u cigarettes I just cannot accept this is panic attacks MY ANXIETY is caused by my symptoms .

I get so aggressive when i get these out of frustration I just want to be normal feel normal have a good life but every time i feel OK i try enjoy myself it happens and im back to square one

all these doctors say im fine but I cannot accept it they wont refer me saying this has gone on too long and i dont need it.What the hell am i going to do ...i really dont want to take meds ..because i believe i havent got anxiety? its like if i knew it was anxiety for a fact and not heart related ect i would be cured!! because id know its only anxiety why worry

i check my blood pressure alot (123/79 most times or 130-152/87 when i have these attacks or symptoms badly and panic) I take asprins daily in case i suffer a heart attack, people tell me to work out but working out again causes them to come on.

I also cannot tolerate heat by the sun in summer or in our home it makes me have a really unable to breath feeling.If someone dies in the news or in my life i obsess to finding out if its a heart attack because I want to prove to myself it can happen even tho im 31 it doesnt matter which i accept it very morbid

I feel like i have left so much out to write but I guess i want someone to not take one look at this post and look away as its too long so i will leave it there..please please if you have 5 minutes of time or have advice anything can you reply and tell me what am i going to do? how can i live i need a job i need to support my kids i need to live and smile again

[nomorepanic]

Hi fabio27

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[poppy63]

Hi, l know what you are going through I have suffered with anxiety for years, my husband has had a heart bypass and your symptoms are nothing like his. But they are alot like mine, I wason holiday last year not a care in world and I had so many panic attacks, I went for a short swim in the pool felt great until I got out I thought I was going to pass out, I had an intense pain in my head and went extremely dizzy my heart rate shot up. I am so breathless allday everyday, heart rate up all the time , pain between my shoulder blades, you name it I suffer with it.I am on cipralex and beta blockers they help with the panic but not the anxiety.

[BobbyDog]

I can relate to all of your symptoms. I had a fit some years ago after inhaling too much Cannabis smoke. That was the start of my panic attacks.

I have been told recently by a counsellor that I need to be harder on myself as I hyperventilate frequently. The advice I have been given is as follows:

When I feel the need to overbreathe because of a feeling of pressure on my ribcage, I have to tell myself "I am not going to stop breathing it is an involuntary action."
"It will happen naturally without me having to try to control it."

I am working on this theory at the moment.

Have a stern word with yourself, that is what I am doing.................

[fabio27]

hey thanks poppy63 for taking the time to reply hearing anything like you said about how these dont sound common for what your husband sadly suffered from before surgery is reassuring even if it doesnt stop what im feeling.living with this everyday has really taken its toll on me its getting so much more worse to the point where i cannot accept my body is feeling this way because of anxiety

---------- Post added at 20:30 ---------- Previous post was at 20:27 ----------

im trying so hard to do that bobbydog i guess i have to accept im a weaker person than i thought i let this control me so much as i think no one believes me that its my heart and im going to suffer a heart attack.being alone in the house makes this ten times worse i fear collapsing and not being found until its too late but i hate being in public because i feel so bad i just want to hide and not make people realise im freaking out

[han76]

hi Fabio it takes a bit to wrap your head around stress and Aniexty physically manifesting. But it does. I have had most of what you describe. IBS asthma eczema chest pains spins tremors shakes tachycardia head aches light sensitive aggression the list goes on. i smoked cannabis for 20 years on and off. The cannabis is not the cause but the smoking a symptom. some drink some smoke some puff.doctors can treat the symptoms. But you do need a referral to the community mental health team. It is a lot easier to hope it's a physical problem not a mental problem. But it's just brain chemistry. No different to blood sugar cholesterol. You could have 50 trips to hospital every test going. But read the articles the stories. I hope it helps you accept the cause. I am sure most of us battled it. good luck Hannah x x

[Daisy Sue]

Hi Fabio, welcome to the forum!

So much went through my thoughts as I read your post - I hope I can remember everything I wanted to say, lol!

Ok - firstly, I'm really upset for you that the doctors are refusing to refer you on for help, and the reason that 'it's gone on too long' really sucks, to me. Is there any way you can find around this? Change your GP? Do a self referral, maybe go private for the first appointment?? I think if I were you, this is definitely a direction I'd want to be going in... and the referral I would want would be to a counsellor/psychotherapist/cognitive behavioural therapist - it sounds like you really need that kind of support on board.

The fact that you've had a lot of diagnostics done, and most of the results have shown nothing, is very reassuring, but I do know how loud that "what if.." voice can shout. Somehow we have to override those fears though, and try to get our logic shouting louder - there is no medical evidence pointing towards you having a heart issue, for instance, and not only that, the doctors you've seen don't feel there is either. So it's not just the results, it's the specialised people too - people who do see heart patients day in, day out.

IBS and spastic colon can account for some of the symptoms you're feeling - are you currently on any meds for this, or dietary changes?

Also, have you had any full blood counts done, plus blood tests for electrolytes, minerals, vitamins.... there are many deficiencies which can cause some of those symptoms too, and if you have IBS then your gastro transit might be compromising your absorption ability of some nutrients etc..

Sorry for my post being so full & long - I hope you're still awake by this point :)

[fabio27]

first thanks to everyone for replying im reading every word and taking it onboard

daisy sue i had a endoscopy 3 years ago that diagnosed my stomach issues i was diagnosed but never given any appointments after so i felt that meant there was nothing they could do? I have changed my diet since then alot because of the cholesterol for the better but I will admit I still do suffer from some stomach issues im sure of it.

I asked to be reffered to a cardioligist but he refused saying theres no need I never asked for mental health ect because Im having trouble accepting thats the cause sadly! I just find it so hard to accept that anxiety can make these symptoms feel so bad and manifest in my body like this the pain and feelings I suffer are just not normal for a 'healthy' person :(

I have had blood tests for cholesterol but I was only told everything else was in normal range but what those ranges where for I honestly dont know

In a dream world I would love have my heart scanned and arterys looked at and for them to say no problems maybe then I can start afresh and try cope with this anxiety I would love private but im very poor sadly and its something I cant afford.

I find myself becoming more of a recluse and i just cant let that happen for my childrens sake i love them too much to make them suffer and miss out on things because I feel so ill all the time

my wife is very black and white and gets very frustrated when I go into full panic mode over a symptom I cant blame her she has stuck by me so much sitting in hospitals and stuff she has seen me only last night thinking I was about to have a heart attack pacing up and down refusing to take me to hospital ..hell even while im typing this im getting sudden sharp pains near my heart