starlight78
18-02-13, 19:25
Hi everyone,
I feel really eurghhhhh!!!! I wish I could explain my anxiety and panic better, to myself even.
I talk to understanding friends and family about 'anxiety' and they are so kind to me, but I don't really tell them what's driving it.
I don't have the palpatations or hyperventilation that others talk of. I'm not scared of dying, I know it's sounds crazy but I'm scared of living.
Sometimes it feels that everything about life is so scary that the thought of going to sleep and not waking up is so welcoming. I'm NOT suicidal and I know that this will pass, if I take it one day at a time. I don't feel hopeless, I believe I will get better.... But every so often i feel a total freak, so abnormal and scared of my own shadow that I want to cry.
Over recent months I have feel scared of (in no particular order) The snow, the floods, being on a spinning planet in the middle of an infinite universe (what's that about!!), scary bad people, serial killers, terrorists, trains, planes and traffic! I've been scared of losing control of myself, going crazy and hurting someone, being unable to keep feeling like this and ending it all.
I'm ok when I'm busy, which makes me think I'm not depressed and this is anxiety disorder, but when I get home after a stressful day my thought whir and I start to feel frightened.. I wish I knew what of, then I could face it! It's a general feeling of fear, foreboding, feeling out of control and flashes of hopelessness. I always work my way through it by saying these weird thoughts and feelings are symptoms - not real and they will pass as they always do..... BUT for now I feel Bleurgh!
Thank you for reading, it helps so much to write on here. I hope everyone is doing ok and getting through their Bleurgh days to.
Huge hugs to you all x x
I feel really eurghhhhh!!!! I wish I could explain my anxiety and panic better, to myself even.
I talk to understanding friends and family about 'anxiety' and they are so kind to me, but I don't really tell them what's driving it.
I don't have the palpatations or hyperventilation that others talk of. I'm not scared of dying, I know it's sounds crazy but I'm scared of living.
Sometimes it feels that everything about life is so scary that the thought of going to sleep and not waking up is so welcoming. I'm NOT suicidal and I know that this will pass, if I take it one day at a time. I don't feel hopeless, I believe I will get better.... But every so often i feel a total freak, so abnormal and scared of my own shadow that I want to cry.
Over recent months I have feel scared of (in no particular order) The snow, the floods, being on a spinning planet in the middle of an infinite universe (what's that about!!), scary bad people, serial killers, terrorists, trains, planes and traffic! I've been scared of losing control of myself, going crazy and hurting someone, being unable to keep feeling like this and ending it all.
I'm ok when I'm busy, which makes me think I'm not depressed and this is anxiety disorder, but when I get home after a stressful day my thought whir and I start to feel frightened.. I wish I knew what of, then I could face it! It's a general feeling of fear, foreboding, feeling out of control and flashes of hopelessness. I always work my way through it by saying these weird thoughts and feelings are symptoms - not real and they will pass as they always do..... BUT for now I feel Bleurgh!
Thank you for reading, it helps so much to write on here. I hope everyone is doing ok and getting through their Bleurgh days to.
Huge hugs to you all x x