ABrownUSA
18-02-13, 20:06
I guess I'll begin with a Hello to all.
I finally decided to stop Google trolling into this forum trying to find other people with my symptoms. This might be a long post, but I don't have anyone to really talk to about this, or whom would even understand to begin with. So I'm going to just leave this open and type as things come to mind...
I think I have always been an anxious person, that could partly be caffeine induced. I have literally avoided water for years and my main source of liquid/water has been Coke for years! Then my caffeine intake got worse with Red Bulls, coffee and Coke all day, everyday for years! I have never really eaten healthy, yet I'm a tall slender guy that just doesn't gain weight no matter how much CRAP I eat. I rarely have eaten fruits, or anything "healthy" for that matter. I do however eat vegetables when they are served with dinner. In a nutshell I'm saying my diet is/was probably SHIAT! I would be considered a heavy smoker, with at least a pack a day smoked! I NEVER work out and I really hate sweating! I actually think I'm allergic to sweating "that's a joke".
1-2x16oz Red Bulls per day
1-2x12oz Cups of coffee per day "I'd like coffee with my sugar please basically"
4-6x12oz Coke's per day
My life has been no barrel of peaches and I have avoided most stressful situations most of my life! I have a ton of skeletons in the closet and a pretty bad child hood. I think my past could go on for hours, so i'll skip the beginning and go to current.
On December 21st I experienced my first panic attack. I don't know if it was emotions being the wife and I had it out and she left out of state with the kids for the holidays. Either or something triggered, I panicked and I was thinking the world was about to end "stupid Mayan crap". I felt everything go cold, quiet, things felt weird, objects seemed to be 2D, heart racing, couldn't swallow, I couldn't breathe. I txted my wife that I loved her and to tell the kids I loved them, I felt like I was going to die. I truly thought in my head the world was coming to an end, or for that matter maybe I was coming to an end. Drove myself to the hospital immediately being it's literally down the road. Got to the hospital and had a heart rate of 140+ and I felt like passing out! All in all I was able to calm down, gather my thoughts and try to focus on WTF just happened to me! Doctors told me I had a panic attack and that everything was OK! Yay I felt better, I felt safe, and I left the hospital. I felt secure that what just happened was a “HOLY CRAP” moment and everything would be fine. Of course I went home to the house alone, nobody to talk to, feeling depressed about what just happened, thinking way to much about things "I've always been a huge day dreamer...”I think that's how I escape". But yet I was able to move on for the next few days feeling fine! I took that stressful situation and did as I always do; swallowed it, forgot about it and moved on. The wife/kids came home a couple of days later and I was super happy! Ohhhhh it was short lived to say the very least. I ended up getting very sick with an upper respiratory infection, couldn't breathe etc. Then one morning while being sick I woke up and I can't really say how I felt, other than I felt like I was dreaming, disconnected, everything 2d, just like the first panic attack "except worse", "where was I 2 seconds ago WTF", still but walking, talking etc! BOOOOMMMM sent me into another panic attack and this one was worse than the first one. Once again drove myself to the ER, where all the usual's were done...CT, blood work, chest, heart, cancer screens etc. Everything came out fine and it was ruled another damn panic attack. This is where the nightmare begins in my opinion!
Two months later looking back, I had a two severe panic attacks! But I have not felt the same since and my life went spinning downwards. I went to see a GP, whom assumed "probably hit it on the nail, I just wanted to assume the worst" that I was now suffering from GAD. She prescribed me 10mg of Lexapro and Ativan as needed. I trusted her judgment and left the office feeling confident I was going to have a little help to get me through this FOG! After 2 days on the Lexapro, things got 5x worse to say the least! I was having panic attacks, SUPER headaches, ears ringing, head buzzing, light headed, loss of appetite and just generally miserable! So I googled everything, every symptom etc etc etc and I had every disease in the book! She never told me about the side effects and I never thought to ask "I know foolish"! So I kept taking it for another two days and boy did it get worse! So I was instructed to drop it down to 5mg a day until my next appt. My ears were ringing so LOUD I couldn't sleep at all and brain fog, just all around DISCONNECTED! My head was constantly in pain and the head BUZZING was driving me nuts! So I called in again and told her what was going on. She then took me off the Lexapro and put me on 20mg of Prozac and Clonazepam as needed. Once again I didn't think to ask about side effects, nor was she forth coming about them. I would say for the most part the Prozac was "Ok" for the first 3 days. But then the SEVERE headaches and head buzzing all came back with a VENGEANCE! Now my ear ringing was at an all-time new level of HELL! But I said “screw” it I’m going to stick this out for another week, maybe these things will surpass! Still feeling UNREAL as hell and quite frankly miserable, I tried to do things as normal. Went to a state park with the family and couldn’t enjoy a damn thing! The severe headaches, feeling spacey, feeling like a dream, ears ringing, and head buzzing got to me! But I did my best to avoid them that day being my kids were around and I didn’t want them to see dad was in pain. As we’re driving home, I’m still in a daze and I just feel disconnected…My entire left side go’s numb while driving! Yet I don’t freak out, I don’t go into panic mode; I just pull over and take a little breather. I thought to myself “awesome I didn’t have a panic attack, I feel like SHIAT and I don’t know what’s going on but I’m not dying”. I call the on call doctor when I get home, I tell her what happened and ask should I be worried. She tells me to stop the Prozac immediately until I see the GP in 3 days. She also tells me that if my left side go’s numb again to immediately go to the ER and tell them I was instructed to come in and tell them “TIA”. So I go on about my night, feeling like crap with my head THUNDERING/Buzzing and my ears ringing. I wake up in the morning and I feel “ok” as it turns out. Minus the fact that my mornings are probably the worst for me! Booom eating breakfast and my entire left side go’s numb once again! I don’t panic as I don’t feel horrible, but I’m going to go to the ER as instructed. Come to find out “TIA” is like a little mini stroke and when I tell the intake nurse, she immediately rushes me back! Turns out she says she noticed “facial paralysis” on my left hand side and I could be having a stroke. Well as it turns out I was not, after the battery of test all turned out fine.
The only way I can explain it, is that I feel like I'm now suffering from chronic derealization since the second panic attack. I dropped the caffeine overnight and have barely touched a drop since quitting cold turkey! The headaches have not gone away, nor has the buzzing in my head or the ear ringing. I just do my best every day to tell myself this is just anxiety “for what I don’t know” and it will resolve itself after my brains had a little time to heal. I can’t think of much else to type right now, but I definitely want to hear what others have to say.
My symptoms day to day
Head aches in different places, sometime bad and SOMETIMES HORRIBLE
Left ear ringing
Brain fog
Head buzzing
Forgetfulness
Obsessing over what's wrong
Dizzy
Lost 14lbs over 3 weeks
Morning confusion
Heart pounding for no reason
Heart beating out of chest when I wake up
Lost 14lbs over 3 weeks
Heart pounds when i stand up after laying down for a while
Super dizzy and disoriented in a dark environment
Hands tremors?
Sometimes numb legs
Depressed now because of all this
Legs are real jumpy when sitting...like constantly moving...bouncing them
I fear i'm losing my mind and wont recover from this
There are probably a few more...But the one that bothers me the most is the "derealization" i have going on...
Going to stop for a while...this probably all doesn't make since and i probably skipped a bunch...just don't know where to begin.
Adam
---------- Post added at 14:06 ---------- Previous post was at 13:54 ----------
PS...Forgot to add...I'm no longer taking any meds daily. I have however taken Clonazepam .25 like 3-6 at different times over the last week when my head was killing me, or I couldn't sleep because of the ringing in my ear. I will go on record saying that within about 30-45 mins every time after taking the pill, the head buzzing goes away, ears aren't ringing as loud and I feel relaxed...So i really don't know what the deal is there...maybe I do need the SSRIs... don't know
I finally decided to stop Google trolling into this forum trying to find other people with my symptoms. This might be a long post, but I don't have anyone to really talk to about this, or whom would even understand to begin with. So I'm going to just leave this open and type as things come to mind...
I think I have always been an anxious person, that could partly be caffeine induced. I have literally avoided water for years and my main source of liquid/water has been Coke for years! Then my caffeine intake got worse with Red Bulls, coffee and Coke all day, everyday for years! I have never really eaten healthy, yet I'm a tall slender guy that just doesn't gain weight no matter how much CRAP I eat. I rarely have eaten fruits, or anything "healthy" for that matter. I do however eat vegetables when they are served with dinner. In a nutshell I'm saying my diet is/was probably SHIAT! I would be considered a heavy smoker, with at least a pack a day smoked! I NEVER work out and I really hate sweating! I actually think I'm allergic to sweating "that's a joke".
1-2x16oz Red Bulls per day
1-2x12oz Cups of coffee per day "I'd like coffee with my sugar please basically"
4-6x12oz Coke's per day
My life has been no barrel of peaches and I have avoided most stressful situations most of my life! I have a ton of skeletons in the closet and a pretty bad child hood. I think my past could go on for hours, so i'll skip the beginning and go to current.
On December 21st I experienced my first panic attack. I don't know if it was emotions being the wife and I had it out and she left out of state with the kids for the holidays. Either or something triggered, I panicked and I was thinking the world was about to end "stupid Mayan crap". I felt everything go cold, quiet, things felt weird, objects seemed to be 2D, heart racing, couldn't swallow, I couldn't breathe. I txted my wife that I loved her and to tell the kids I loved them, I felt like I was going to die. I truly thought in my head the world was coming to an end, or for that matter maybe I was coming to an end. Drove myself to the hospital immediately being it's literally down the road. Got to the hospital and had a heart rate of 140+ and I felt like passing out! All in all I was able to calm down, gather my thoughts and try to focus on WTF just happened to me! Doctors told me I had a panic attack and that everything was OK! Yay I felt better, I felt safe, and I left the hospital. I felt secure that what just happened was a “HOLY CRAP” moment and everything would be fine. Of course I went home to the house alone, nobody to talk to, feeling depressed about what just happened, thinking way to much about things "I've always been a huge day dreamer...”I think that's how I escape". But yet I was able to move on for the next few days feeling fine! I took that stressful situation and did as I always do; swallowed it, forgot about it and moved on. The wife/kids came home a couple of days later and I was super happy! Ohhhhh it was short lived to say the very least. I ended up getting very sick with an upper respiratory infection, couldn't breathe etc. Then one morning while being sick I woke up and I can't really say how I felt, other than I felt like I was dreaming, disconnected, everything 2d, just like the first panic attack "except worse", "where was I 2 seconds ago WTF", still but walking, talking etc! BOOOOMMMM sent me into another panic attack and this one was worse than the first one. Once again drove myself to the ER, where all the usual's were done...CT, blood work, chest, heart, cancer screens etc. Everything came out fine and it was ruled another damn panic attack. This is where the nightmare begins in my opinion!
Two months later looking back, I had a two severe panic attacks! But I have not felt the same since and my life went spinning downwards. I went to see a GP, whom assumed "probably hit it on the nail, I just wanted to assume the worst" that I was now suffering from GAD. She prescribed me 10mg of Lexapro and Ativan as needed. I trusted her judgment and left the office feeling confident I was going to have a little help to get me through this FOG! After 2 days on the Lexapro, things got 5x worse to say the least! I was having panic attacks, SUPER headaches, ears ringing, head buzzing, light headed, loss of appetite and just generally miserable! So I googled everything, every symptom etc etc etc and I had every disease in the book! She never told me about the side effects and I never thought to ask "I know foolish"! So I kept taking it for another two days and boy did it get worse! So I was instructed to drop it down to 5mg a day until my next appt. My ears were ringing so LOUD I couldn't sleep at all and brain fog, just all around DISCONNECTED! My head was constantly in pain and the head BUZZING was driving me nuts! So I called in again and told her what was going on. She then took me off the Lexapro and put me on 20mg of Prozac and Clonazepam as needed. Once again I didn't think to ask about side effects, nor was she forth coming about them. I would say for the most part the Prozac was "Ok" for the first 3 days. But then the SEVERE headaches and head buzzing all came back with a VENGEANCE! Now my ear ringing was at an all-time new level of HELL! But I said “screw” it I’m going to stick this out for another week, maybe these things will surpass! Still feeling UNREAL as hell and quite frankly miserable, I tried to do things as normal. Went to a state park with the family and couldn’t enjoy a damn thing! The severe headaches, feeling spacey, feeling like a dream, ears ringing, and head buzzing got to me! But I did my best to avoid them that day being my kids were around and I didn’t want them to see dad was in pain. As we’re driving home, I’m still in a daze and I just feel disconnected…My entire left side go’s numb while driving! Yet I don’t freak out, I don’t go into panic mode; I just pull over and take a little breather. I thought to myself “awesome I didn’t have a panic attack, I feel like SHIAT and I don’t know what’s going on but I’m not dying”. I call the on call doctor when I get home, I tell her what happened and ask should I be worried. She tells me to stop the Prozac immediately until I see the GP in 3 days. She also tells me that if my left side go’s numb again to immediately go to the ER and tell them I was instructed to come in and tell them “TIA”. So I go on about my night, feeling like crap with my head THUNDERING/Buzzing and my ears ringing. I wake up in the morning and I feel “ok” as it turns out. Minus the fact that my mornings are probably the worst for me! Booom eating breakfast and my entire left side go’s numb once again! I don’t panic as I don’t feel horrible, but I’m going to go to the ER as instructed. Come to find out “TIA” is like a little mini stroke and when I tell the intake nurse, she immediately rushes me back! Turns out she says she noticed “facial paralysis” on my left hand side and I could be having a stroke. Well as it turns out I was not, after the battery of test all turned out fine.
The only way I can explain it, is that I feel like I'm now suffering from chronic derealization since the second panic attack. I dropped the caffeine overnight and have barely touched a drop since quitting cold turkey! The headaches have not gone away, nor has the buzzing in my head or the ear ringing. I just do my best every day to tell myself this is just anxiety “for what I don’t know” and it will resolve itself after my brains had a little time to heal. I can’t think of much else to type right now, but I definitely want to hear what others have to say.
My symptoms day to day
Head aches in different places, sometime bad and SOMETIMES HORRIBLE
Left ear ringing
Brain fog
Head buzzing
Forgetfulness
Obsessing over what's wrong
Dizzy
Lost 14lbs over 3 weeks
Morning confusion
Heart pounding for no reason
Heart beating out of chest when I wake up
Lost 14lbs over 3 weeks
Heart pounds when i stand up after laying down for a while
Super dizzy and disoriented in a dark environment
Hands tremors?
Sometimes numb legs
Depressed now because of all this
Legs are real jumpy when sitting...like constantly moving...bouncing them
I fear i'm losing my mind and wont recover from this
There are probably a few more...But the one that bothers me the most is the "derealization" i have going on...
Going to stop for a while...this probably all doesn't make since and i probably skipped a bunch...just don't know where to begin.
Adam
---------- Post added at 14:06 ---------- Previous post was at 13:54 ----------
PS...Forgot to add...I'm no longer taking any meds daily. I have however taken Clonazepam .25 like 3-6 at different times over the last week when my head was killing me, or I couldn't sleep because of the ringing in my ear. I will go on record saying that within about 30-45 mins every time after taking the pill, the head buzzing goes away, ears aren't ringing as loud and I feel relaxed...So i really don't know what the deal is there...maybe I do need the SSRIs... don't know