shaunnajadelle
18-02-13, 23:46
Hello,
Just thought I'd post an introduction about myself as it seems like the first thing to do! My name is Shaunna and I'm 21, I'm a university student studying Psychology in my final year and I'm also a trainee embalmer. This results in a lot of my training career being surrounded by death, which may or may not add to my anxieties :unsure:
I came across this site and the forums while Googling how long tonsillitis can last for and whether it's normal to experience neck pain with it. I was told yesterday I have this after visiting the doc with very sore throat, swollen glands, fluey symptoms and neck ache, but I considered the neck pain to be abnormal and was convinced I had meningitis. I was told I have tonsillitis and probably muscular strain (lol)
This is a huge habit of mine. I have extreme health anxiety, I have since I was very young but it seemed to get rapidly worse last month when I developed a water infection and was given antibiotics which gave me various side effects which I completely blew out of proportion and was convinced I had many different fatal illnesses including brain cancer, septicaemia and so on... This excessive worry resulted in 3 weeks of solid panic, I lost my appetite completely and lost lots of weight. I seemed to improve after a few weeks and have been okay until the past few days in which I've had tonsillitis symptoms.. it seems to be that whenever I am ill now, regardless how minor it is, I am absolutely convinced that it is something deadly.
I know it sounds silly and it's likely irrational, but my mind is seriously convinced about it every time. I am so convinced that I will die when I experience any symptoms that I have resorted to writing letters to family regarding my funeral arrangements (not in a suicidal way, more convinced that I'm dying). I just felt 'strange' recently for days and ended up taking myself to the local A&E, convinced I had symptoms of a brain tumour, and I was told that my symptoms are due to anxiety and the only thing that was wrong with me is that I was underweight (anxiety induced).
It's awful having this control my life and to be always thinking that I'm suffering from a fatal illness.. You name it, I think I've had/got it. As I mentioned earlier, I'm training to be an embalmer, so I study a lot to do with different diseases and see how people die frequently, and seem to 'pick up ideas' from this (as my mother tells me). I'm driving my family and my boyfriend crazy with panic attacks and constant talking about my symptoms and regularly demanding to be taken to hospital.
My doctor has prescribed me 10mg of Citalopram daily for anxiety (which I was on when I was 17-19 years old for depression) which I can't really decide whether it's helping yet.. I've never been on any other medication for anxiety.
Well, apologies for the essay, but it's really good to know that I'm not the only person who suffers from this, and it's awful to see some of the posts on here where people don't have much support in their daily lives :( I wouldn't wish this on anybody. But like anything else, I suppose it's taking it one day at a time and getting through it!
Thanks if you're reading, happy to hear from anybody!
Shaunna
Just thought I'd post an introduction about myself as it seems like the first thing to do! My name is Shaunna and I'm 21, I'm a university student studying Psychology in my final year and I'm also a trainee embalmer. This results in a lot of my training career being surrounded by death, which may or may not add to my anxieties :unsure:
I came across this site and the forums while Googling how long tonsillitis can last for and whether it's normal to experience neck pain with it. I was told yesterday I have this after visiting the doc with very sore throat, swollen glands, fluey symptoms and neck ache, but I considered the neck pain to be abnormal and was convinced I had meningitis. I was told I have tonsillitis and probably muscular strain (lol)
This is a huge habit of mine. I have extreme health anxiety, I have since I was very young but it seemed to get rapidly worse last month when I developed a water infection and was given antibiotics which gave me various side effects which I completely blew out of proportion and was convinced I had many different fatal illnesses including brain cancer, septicaemia and so on... This excessive worry resulted in 3 weeks of solid panic, I lost my appetite completely and lost lots of weight. I seemed to improve after a few weeks and have been okay until the past few days in which I've had tonsillitis symptoms.. it seems to be that whenever I am ill now, regardless how minor it is, I am absolutely convinced that it is something deadly.
I know it sounds silly and it's likely irrational, but my mind is seriously convinced about it every time. I am so convinced that I will die when I experience any symptoms that I have resorted to writing letters to family regarding my funeral arrangements (not in a suicidal way, more convinced that I'm dying). I just felt 'strange' recently for days and ended up taking myself to the local A&E, convinced I had symptoms of a brain tumour, and I was told that my symptoms are due to anxiety and the only thing that was wrong with me is that I was underweight (anxiety induced).
It's awful having this control my life and to be always thinking that I'm suffering from a fatal illness.. You name it, I think I've had/got it. As I mentioned earlier, I'm training to be an embalmer, so I study a lot to do with different diseases and see how people die frequently, and seem to 'pick up ideas' from this (as my mother tells me). I'm driving my family and my boyfriend crazy with panic attacks and constant talking about my symptoms and regularly demanding to be taken to hospital.
My doctor has prescribed me 10mg of Citalopram daily for anxiety (which I was on when I was 17-19 years old for depression) which I can't really decide whether it's helping yet.. I've never been on any other medication for anxiety.
Well, apologies for the essay, but it's really good to know that I'm not the only person who suffers from this, and it's awful to see some of the posts on here where people don't have much support in their daily lives :( I wouldn't wish this on anybody. But like anything else, I suppose it's taking it one day at a time and getting through it!
Thanks if you're reading, happy to hear from anybody!
Shaunna