Im desperate

[maximus1975]

GUYS/GIRLS HELP ME i woke up so nervous this morning that i was wretching ove the toilet i believe im going through a double withdrawal first from lorazepam although they have substitued it with diazepam ( same family benzo ) but doesnt seem to work as well for me last week i drank a total of 8 cans , 3 pints and a bottle of wine i havnt had a drink since friday im going through hell, i wasnt as bad as this yesterday i managed to make it into town with my cpn to the drop in centre .
im feeling so so anxious , catastrophic thinking , sweating and really weird thoughts im really scared ive done all the emergency phone calls samaritans etc what else is there for me to do i cant keep going on like this

[manwithnoname]

i'm so sorry to hear what you are going through

[maximus1975]

i dont no what to do im scared im going mad and loosing control this is the worst ive ever been

[manwithnoname]

you need to breathe deeply and slowly to recover some rational thinking so I would try breathing in slowly and counting 1-2-3 and the breath out counting 3-2-1, it will defintely help.

[Daisy Sue]

Yep, breathe deeply and slowly, consciously relax every part of your body, force your thoughts to focus on something calming, like a beach... close your eyes, listen to the sea, feel the sun on your face and the sand in your toes....

You just need to find ways of counteracting the acute anxiety while you're going through this patch, a day at a time, or even an hour at a time if needed... keep going.. you will get there..

And don't forget, those advice lines, you can ring them more than once you know! :)

[maximus1975]

im doing all of these things but my body feels like its shaking i dont no how much more i can take of this i just want to go back on my original dose of lorazepam i was doing fine then now i cant get out the front door

[manwithnoname]

keep up with the breathing exercise

[Annie0904]

Once you get used to the change of meds you will be able to get out again. How did your visit to the drop in centre go? Did you talk to your CPN about how bad you are at the moment?

[impulse81]

Have you thought about getting any support from an alcohol service in your area,they can give you additional help x

[maximus1975]

yesterday i got on ok at the drop in centre annie , i told my cpn how poorly im feeling and she just said i c loads of people like you everyday, i asked about going into a hospitol she said i wasnt ill enough.
i feel way worse today i dont think ive ever been this nervous/anxious

[Annie0904]

You must keep telling yourself that it will get better. You have to get over this hurdle of the change of meds and once you have done that you will be feeling better. Sometimes we have to get worse to get better. If you can accept that and think ahead to better days it will be easier for you. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[manwithnoname]

good advice from annie

[han76]

oh babe you are just having a terrible time at the moment. I thought I was going to die when I was in diazepam withdrawal called an ambulance. I promise you give it one week from the switch you will feel better. you have so much going on med change fighting the booze. Tyson would struggle with that fight. But your doing amazing. Deep breaths. Your body is just adjusting it will calm. drink lots and lots of water flush the booze and the old med out. it does and will get better sending you hugs Hannah x x x

[maximus1975]

im really trying people keep saying go out for a nice long walk that is just not an option for me today im shaking like crazy

[Annie0904]

Don't worry if you can't do it today. Just rest today. Tomorrow is another day and maybe you will manage a little walk then, if you can't it doesn't matter..remember it has to be baby steps...the important thing is for you to understand that how you feel today is not how you are always going to be. You will get your life back. Think about how well you did yesterday..you made it to the drop in centre even though you didn't feel like going. You did really well. :hugs::hugs:

[manwithnoname]

you will overcome and survive this difficult time so have faith

[maximus1975]

today has been one of the worst days of my life just burst into tears at dinner in front of mum but what can dhe do to help other than listen and put a roof over my head these are desperate times and im feeling very anxious tonight.thoughts of will i ever beat my demons will i ever be the old me

[Annie0904]

The answer to those questions is yes you will. Like I said before and others have said it takes time but you will get there. We are all here for you to support you. Try to get a good nights sleep as I am sure you will be exhausted after the awful day you have had. Sending you hugs :hugs: Wil chat with you again tomorrow.

[maximus1975]

i slept ok had to be up at 7 30 for the dr's there refusing to budge on putting me back on lorazepam no matter how bad i feel , they say there doing it for my own good my argument is that this drug gives me some sort of a life others dont.
i wont do it but if i was to go pub this evening the time i was there having a few beers i would feel completly normal the next few days is the problem awful depression/anxiety.
im being switched from mitrazipan to venlfaxin it wasnt my usual gp today and she has the email from my consultant stateing what dose to start me of on, so im just waiting to here from the consultant the dose and the taper from mitrazipine i have the tablets here ready to go

[Annie0904]

Your doctor was right not to put you on lorazepam again, I know it doesn't feel like it to you at the moment but it is really only intended for short term use and you will in the long run be better of without it, you just have to suffer getting it out of your system which isn't nice. Hopefully you will start to pick up again soon. I hope the change of meds will help you. :hugs:

[maximus1975]

the rest of the males are on benzos for life in my family and they are stable and living reasonable lives but its coz they have tried to kill themselfs , the fact i havnt means i have to suffer when i no there is a tablet out there that makes me well, i wont do it but im tempted to by a load from the usa but thats gunna get me no where when they run out

[Annie0904]

Hopefully you can be stronger and get through this. See how you do on the new meds :hugs:

[manwithnoname]

how are things going maximus?

[han76]

it's horrible and I doubt it feels like it but the doctors are doing it for your long term good. Benzos for life is not much of a life. I hated my medical team for constantly pushing me to get off them. But now I have been benzo free for a few weeks I feel amazing. not sure they were actually doing anything in the end but get me more agitated aggressive and emotional. your liver is desperately trying to flush the old med. Sorry to say it but having a few drinks is making it work harder and your going to feel crappy for longer. My docs advised me to drink loads and loads fluids to help my liver flush everything out. I was shaking like an epileptic sweating and felt like death. drink lots stay in bed and ride it out benzos have half life of about 8 days. you will start to feel better after that. you won't be stable on benzos it's like a placebo your body builds a tolerance very quickly. you would have to increase the dose every month. it's toxic to have more than a certain dose your docs should have explained this. stay strong Han x :hugs:

[Annie0904]

Max how are you today? :hugs:

[maximus1975]

han benzos have saved my bro's life and he's been on the same dose for 8 years im not saying its good to be on them but in a combination with other drugs they havnt had to up the dose,

annie not to bad didnt do my nice long walk like i was doing pre xmas i need to build my confidence back up to that just a chilled day at home with a visit to nans for two hours,
any day without a beer is another day ive achieved something

[Annie0904]

Well done on all that you have achieved Max, you did well to get to your nan's :hugs:

[maximus1975]

well she only lives 2 mins up the road,
im not sure about going to this drop in centre tomorrow i went the other day to have a look about with my cpn and every one was so down and serious made me nervous and the manager there is not there to discuss your problems , im wondering wether i'll feel worse afterwards

[Annie0904]

Only go if you think you can benefit from it. Even 2 mins up the road max is good progress...you got out, well done! :)

[maximus1975]

thanx annie the place just seemed a bit doom and gloom perhaps its coz i was new

[Sunshine77]

Hi Max, baby steps, 2 minutes up the road today, maybe the drop in centre or a longer walk tomorrow. Worth popping in, you can always leave if you decide it's not for you - and at least it will have got you out of the house. Take care x

[maximus1975]

im really trying alot of my anxiety is down to booze day 7 dtink free tomorrow

[Sunshine77]

That's brilliant, well done you! I know I went on a bit about AA on another thread and I hope I didn't offend you, it's just that it changed my life when I stopped drinking and I get a bit passionate about it!! :blush:

[maximus1975]

yes to give me a better quality of life i must not drink

[nathokid]

yeah dont drink wont do you any good just let the meds do there work & well done for not drinking for 7 days :noangel:

[maximus1975]

thankyou guys im strong enough i can do this

[maximus1975]

feeling better than i was a few days ago still got depression /anxiety in me long battle ahead gotta keep going though

[Annie0904]

You are doing well and hopefully each day will get better but it will be a slow road..you will get there though. You are being strong and I can see your attitude getting more positive, that is a good sign, Well done :hugs: