View Full Version : I have made some big decisions this week
After my phased return last week I did some serious thinking over the weekend and have decided I need more time to get well. Not just for my anxiety but also my foot was starting to ache more at work.
I have spoken to my Union and work have agreed to release me on a compromise agreement so I don't actually have to hand my notice in. This will give me some time to get well. I also has a letter from ESA saying I qualify and will be in the work related group. I am feeling much calmer with my decision.
almamatters
20-02-13, 19:55
Hi Annie, Sounds like you have made the right decision for you and your recovery. You are doing the best thing by giving yourself more time, struggling on is the worst thing you can .:hugs: xxx
I'm glad you feel better as a result of your decision. Must have been hard, but sounds like it's gone relatively smoothly. Glad you now have the time you need to focus on getting well.
Good for you Annie. Your health is your priority. I'm so glad that you are taking the time that you need to recover fully and you are happy with your decision. Take care & be kind to yourself :hugs:
Thank you everyone. It was a hard decision, I have been there 14 years but I needed to make the break :) x
Good for you Annie. Your health is your priority. I'm so glad that you are taking the time that you need to recover fully and you are happy with your decision. Take care & be kind to yourself :hugs:
Couldn't have put it better myself
You have to do what you feel is right for you, life is too short to be unhappy, you can take your time to get yourself fully fit and then decide what you want to do.
xxx
nomorepanic
20-02-13, 22:17
Annie
If you go in the work related group won't they just make you get another job though and sometimes it is better the devil you know?
I am hoping to get another job anyway and have some options to look at. I just need something less stressful and some more time for recovery.
Annie
If you go in the work related group won't they just make you get another job though and sometimes it is better the devil you know?
This isn't how it works. They work with you to find a job that suits your abilities, needs and skills and even explore the potential for self employment.
Sunshine77
20-02-13, 22:27
Hi Annie, I bet having made that decision is a weight off your mind in itself? I admire you for having the courage to take that leap of faith - sounds like the right thing to do. x
This isn't how it works. They work with you to find a job that suits your abilities, needs and skills and even explore the potential for self employment.
Yes Serentie that is what they told me. I am thinking about self employment so hoping they can support me. They said I will have someone assigned to help me.
Good Luck Annie whatever you do in the future and I hope your foot gets better soon:hugs::hugs::hugs:
Good Luck Annie whatever you do in the future and I hope your foot gets better soon:hugs::hugs::hugs:
Thank you :)
Yes Serentie that is what they told me. I am thinking about self employment so hoping they can support me. They said I will have someone assigned to help me.
The self employment route is the best in my experience. They assign you a business advisor. You can build up your business slowly whilst legitimately claiming benefits for up to a period of 2 years. It could be the best move you could make. Unless you are receiving advice from those who have been through this experience, ignore it and push on with your goals :yesyes:
I didn't know that Cat. Thank you :)
I didn't know that Cat. Thank you :)
They give you great advice on marketing, claiming expenses, tax returns and integrate you very gradually into the workplace. This sounds ideal for you, Annie. I wish you the best and look forward to following your progress :yesyes:
Hi Annie, I bet having made that decision is a weight off your mind in itself? I admire you for having the courage to take that leap of faith - sounds like the right thing to do. x
It is a weight of my mind, I spent most of Sunday night and Monday morning in tears and thought I just can't go on like this. It wasn't easy after being there 14 years but I know I have done the right thing :)
---------- Post added at 22:43 ---------- Previous post was at 22:40 ----------
They give you great advice on marketing, claiming expenses, tax returns and integrate you very gradually into the workplace. This sounds ideal for you, Annie. I wish you the best and look forward to following your progress :yesyes:
I think tax returns is what I will need help with..honestly I see fiqures and panic! My hubby is a bit more of a mathematician than me so I could always leave it for him to sort out :) I have been self employed as a child minder before but that was when my children were small.
It is a weight of my mind, I spent most of Sunday night and Monday morning in tears and thought I just can't go on like this. It wasn't easy after being there 14 years but I know I have done the right thing :)
---------- Post added at 22:43 ---------- Previous post was at 22:40 ----------
I think tax returns is what I will need help with..honestly I see fiqures and panic! My hubby is a bit more of a mathematician than me so I could always leave it for him to sort out :) I have been self employed as a child minder before but that was when my children were small.
Opt for the self employed group, Annie. You will learn so much, feel empowered and reintegrate into the workplace at your own pace:)
nomorepanic
20-02-13, 22:47
The self employment route is the best in my experience. They assign you a business advisor. You can build up your business slowly whilst legitimately claiming benefits for up to a period of 2 years. It could be the best move you could make. Unless you are receiving advice from those who have been through this experience, ignore it and push on with your goals :yesyes:
Wow I wish I could get that as I am thinking of starting up alone as well.
Wow I wish I could get that as I am thinking of starting up alone as well.
If you are ill enough you can. Once ATOS refer you to the work group opt for the self employed route :yesyes:
nomorepanic
20-02-13, 22:56
I can't get ESA cos I have a partner that works
nomorepanic
20-02-13, 22:56
Annie has suggested I call my MP about it all as well
I can't get ESA cos I have a partner that works
There a lots of free business advisers in every city. I have accessed such advice in Sheffield and have found a monthly group I will be attending in Liverpool specifically for women only start ups. Do a search of your local area on the internet. I'm sure there will be useful resources you can access regardless of your employment or partners status :yesyes:
nomorepanic
20-02-13, 23:34
Will do thanks
Will do thanks
Where are you living now, Nic?
nomorepanic
20-02-13, 23:46
In Bedfordshire
In Bedfordshire
These are in your area and may be useful as a starting point:
http://www.bedford.gov.uk/business/business_support_and_advice.aspx
nomorepanic
20-02-13, 23:56
I will have a read ta
I can't get ESA cos I have a partner that works
Nicola, I get ESA and my hubby works...
I used to get Incap, but it changed recently and I had to go for an ESA assessment, which thankfully they accepted and put me on, instead of the Incap.
nomorepanic
21-02-13, 00:59
I think I have been stitched up Sue as I can't get anything not even JSA now.
Mine is contribution based not the income based one and they say I haven't paid enough NI so can't get anything at all.
As for ESA they said I am not eligible either.
I think I have been stitched up Sue as I can't get anything not even JSA now.
Mine is contribution based not the income based one and they say I haven't paid enough NI so can't get anything at all.
As for ESA they said I am not eligible either.
That really doesn't sound fair... I have a feeling mine is contribution based too, but I think my NI has been covered by the previous time on Incap (I went straight from working onto Incap).
I hope you can appeal or get some help re-applying!
nomorepanic
21-02-13, 01:07
Yeah I need to do something Sue cos working part time is not paying my NI contributions or the bills !
nomorepanic
21-02-13, 01:15
Sorry Annie - I seem to have hijacked your thread lol.
I was going to start my own but decided not to bother people with my problems.
Night all
Nicola, maybe try giving this place a call... http://www.galaxy.bedfordshire.gov.uk/cgi-bin/infopoint.sh?enqtype=REF&rcn=999
It's D.I.A.L. - the Disability Advice Line... they have been really helpful to me in the past, giving advice on benefits and the best way to apply etc.. if they're a fully staffed branch (not all are any more unfortunately) they may even offer you an appointment to help you rather than over the phone.
Have you tried applying for DLA? This is not means tested (non contribution based)
ElizabethJane
21-02-13, 08:17
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:Hi Annie I have only just read this thread. I hope that you are able to get completely well. I was medically retired from my job and it would have been hard going in those days without incapacity benefit. I now work part time. Very best wishes. EJ
Nicola My hubby works, I really don't understand why you can't get it, unless it is to do with NI. Contact your MP they have always been so helpful to me.
EJ I slept through the night last night for the first time in years..Confirmation that I have done the right thing. I didn't wake up until 9:30!
nomorepanic
21-02-13, 13:15
Thanks Sue will have a look at that.
Apparently I can't get DLA either as I can wash, dress, cook a meal etc.
Well done Annie xxx This sounds like you've done the right thing :hugs:
paranoidtree
21-02-13, 16:35
Well done Anniel, it really sounds like you have made the right decision for you - you sound liberated! Hope your future is amazing and you continue to get yourself well.
Louise
x
Hi Annie, sorry haven't read the whole thread so probably repeating what everyone else has said.. It's great that you went back to work because you were able to evaluate the situation and make the best decision for yourself. I think one of the positives to come out of these anxiety experiences is the opportunity to make changes in life for the better. Without this happening to me I would have kept on running myself into the ground until I retired. Enjoy the time off, wishing you lots of peace, tranquility and good luck for whatever you decide is the next step :hugs: x
Thank you Pancho,Paronoidtree and Lissa for your kind words :)
One of my work colleagues phoned me and said he was really upset I was leaving. He said I am part of the fixtures :) For a few moments I was thinking "Have I done the right thing" Then he started complaining about things at work and how stressed he is so I know I have done the right thing :D I will really miss some of my work colleagues though but they have promised to call in for a cup of tea!
Annie you've definatly made the right decision. I know from NMP how much you've been through and how much you've tried, you should be proud. I can imagine when you get a work friend calling, it must make you second guess BUT I honestly believe you've made the right choice XXX
Annie you've definatly made the right decision. I know from NMP how much you've been through and how much you've tried, you should be proud. I can imagine when you get a work friend calling, it must make you second guess BUT I honestly believe you've made the right choice XXX
You are right Col, My husband says he can see a difference in me already :)
I think if you wouldn't have tried getting back, that would be a different story but you really really did try and you were soo positive going back and sooooo sooooo brave!
Your an inspiration Annie XXX
I think if you wouldn't have tried getting back, that would be a different story but you really really did try and you were soo positive going back and sooooo sooooo brave!
Your an inspiration Annie XXX
Thank you Col xx
bernie1977
25-02-13, 19:01
Annie I've only just seen this post.
I'm so glad you did go back to work as you gave it a chance and where able to make a more informed decision. You sound positive about your future, now you have all that stress off your shoulders I think things will improve for you.
Good luck and take care xx:hugs::hugs:
Thank you bernie. How are you? xx
bernie1977
25-02-13, 19:40
Up and down you know what it's like Annie!
Pushing myself to walk a bit further down my road every day. It's hard but I'm doing well. Had a good day today so I did a few things around the house and that's worn me out so I've just come to bed. I get tired so easy, it's ridiculous. Some days I'm only awake for 10 hours! I don't know if it's the toll the panic causes or if my CFS has reared it's ugly head again. Not complaining too much about it though as I feel so much better depression/panic disorder wise the fatigue pales in comparison. I haven't had one of my hysterical crying fits for a few weeks either!
Hope you're doing better now you've made such an important decision in your life. I know your cats will be pleased that their Mummy is staying home :D
You are right my cats will be very pleased :D. I am pleased you are doing a bit better. My last crying fit was last Monday and that is when I decided not to go back to work :) xx
bernie1977
25-02-13, 19:52
I'm sorry to hear that, I had a feeling work would be too much for you. I went through the same thing with my job, I tried phased returns on three ocassions with no success.
Listen to your Doctor and give your mind and body the rest it needs. You're a tough one Annie, after all you've gone through you're still here fighting:buttkick: so I know you'll come through this. Hope your therapy is going well.
My therapy is helping me a lot..starting to get a bit more confidence in myself xx
bernie1977
25-02-13, 20:08
Good, i'm pleased to hear that xx
My therapy is helping me a lot..starting to get a bit more confidence in myself xx
Here is a big chunk of confidence for you........
CONFIDENCE
Sunshine77
26-02-13, 08:57
It's just wonderful to hear that you're feeling brighter for making your decision, it just goes to show that you've made the right one. You're such a caring lady, you deserve this new freedom and time for you xx
Here is a big chunk of confidence for you........
CONFIDENCE
That made me laugh, soo funny.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.