any one feel like this

[mrs way to worried]

i feel like ive put my life on hold but at the same time everything else is going about 100 miles an hour like a week to me seems to go by so fast but i myself am on pause because i refuse to look forward to anything in case i die soon (wich i am cirtain of it will be 2 years at most ) i dont feel like im all there i have no memory i dont remember important things about my kids like births first steps ,i look a mess i wear tatty clothes im hair is always a state i look like a zombie but i have nothing in me to fight anymore i spend my life waiting for the words u have cancer ! so i can just die .i dont want to leaave my kids but i hate feeling this way , ive always been an anxious person but my health anxiety really started when i had my first daughter i had post natal psycosis which was terrifying then ha started wen she was 3 month old shes nearly 5 now x

[Mrsg12]

I'm so sorry to hear you feel so ill with ha. I can relate to our post as I had my first panic attack 3 months after my first son was born. I had PND after I had him, following a traumatic birth then I was diagnosed with an eye condition that lasted for 18 months and I had loads of tests for brain tumour, ms etc but thu couldn't find what caused it. My eldest son is 20 now and I'm still here! I spent many years of my life waiting to die as I felt sure it was soon but then 7 years ago I had a breakdown and was given antidepressants. I'm obviously not advocating anything but I can only say for me the meds saved my life. I've had relapses of ha on and off the most recent being again after having my youngest son and I had been off meds since being pregnant. I had vertigo and following that had another breakdown. I'm back on meds now and I feel much better than I did. I still have days where I'm more anxious but it's nowhere near as awful as it was in October last year. I know this is part of my personality (my grandma died in January aged 97 and she had
Sufferered with ha for years).

I hope you can soon feel better, sending you lots of
Love xx