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View Full Version : why again ? anxiety why ? addiction ?



cazzy
21-02-13, 17:55
Braving up by introducing myself ,its been on my mind the last 2 days , to post another thread, as 1 i posted yesterday i panicked and removed ..Need to say what a great site and thank you and others out there supporting this and hopefully i can get my mind back on track.
At moment im cutting along story short to the straw.
I been suffering with Ocd/Anxiety/Depression over 15 years , iv conquered the Ocd ...so i know theres hope for others, the fear of checking things,looking through empty toilet rolls, checking cooker on off ,tearing tags of clothes,turning them inside/out ,not putting pen to paper,the list can go on i was possesed in checking and couldnt focus what i was looking for , sounds crazy i know but this what happened to me ...:wacko: and thankfully im over it ...HOW ????
Then Bang ! my hubby went to prison and i had to face up to things for sake of my kids ...prozaced up to 60mg and 15-20mg of diazepam to cope with everything i pulled through , with help of dreaded alcohol ,hospatalized with pancreatis, gallstones ,stomach ulcers, i continued to battle, got over the OCD to face THAT above . seemed to got rid of OCD, then alcohol / diazepam i become addicted too , but now over the alcohol and to this day stuck with the prozac and withdrawal of diazepam.
Anyways , im not coping again with Anxiety, i havent taken a valium for 17 days after 4yrs on high dose then reducing them in November to nothing,but having to take emergency supplies up until 17days ago ...After 5 years being on the wonder drug , doctor and pyschiatrist has weaned and not prescribing nomore, thinking the idea i cant cope without them, im craving them , i know the good effects of taking 1, holding back is the hardest , 17 days none , but last 4 days have been dreadfull ,waking up sweating ,panicking,shaking, number 2s constantly ,really on urge to take 1 to get rid of this ILL feeling, crisis team stopped me today from taking any, her positive vibe of stop the rational thinking and focus on HERE AND NOW ...Here i was sitting with her wanting a tablet and Now it been 17 days since i last took 1 , glad i havent taken 1 as i think 17 days wasted and got to start over another 17days ...
Anyone else feel this pain im not coping to well , sorry im rabbiting ,im nervous as heck x

manwithnoname
21-02-13, 18:04
cazzy welcome and you are not alone:welcome:

nomorepanic
21-02-13, 18:06
Hi cazzy

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

cazzy
21-02-13, 18:16
Thank you Manwithnoname , feel at ease ive had a reply lol or cry or i be deleting my thread :yesyes: ty x

clio51
21-02-13, 18:30
What you have been through and then to do 17 days without is brilliant!!
Don't like the b..... grind you down you have proved you can do it 17 days you have prob done the hardest part!!

---------- Post added at 18:30 ---------- Previous post was at 18:25 ----------

Hi welcome.

Well done getting to 17 days it must of been so hard for you.
Don't let the b..... grind you down. You have proved to yourself you can do it 17 days wow
Keep going you can do it.

BobbyDog
21-02-13, 18:42
You really are one tough cookie, what an achievement, you have proved how strong you can be, keep it up and very well done.:yahoo:
The only way is up.

cazzy
21-02-13, 19:12
downfall is the irrational thinking , hurting inside , thinking popping one will help me cope , but think well know i be disappointed , start all over again ....does the anxious feeling of tingling ,burning ever go away , been a nightmare the last 4 days ...x