pablo22
22-02-13, 20:15
ive been consumed with thoughts of dying lately, i read articles about aortic dissections and anuresyms .. every chest pain i think is my aorta bulging and about to pop! instant death!
3 times today i thought this happened.. i would time myself... 8 minutes, if im still alive in 8 minute i havn't bleed to death.. ill be ok.. work has become a nightmare cause i cant concentrate on anything other then my imagined impending death. i have a habit of reading articles like on the dailymail.co.uk of like a girl who would goto hospital with chest pains only to be discharged and die at home from massive internal bleeding, a ruptured aorta... :(
the rational side of my brain has well and truly been silenced and i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel, im stressing my parents out constantly with my worries and its really affecting our relationship.. my dad thinks im nuts and my mum cant take my worrying anymore. i spent at least half my wages on visits to my GP, or the emergency room...
i want to have every test possible done, i want a full body MRI, a holter monitor everything... but will i ever be happy? I'm trapped in a box, on a leash, and theres nowhere to go :( help
3 times today i thought this happened.. i would time myself... 8 minutes, if im still alive in 8 minute i havn't bleed to death.. ill be ok.. work has become a nightmare cause i cant concentrate on anything other then my imagined impending death. i have a habit of reading articles like on the dailymail.co.uk of like a girl who would goto hospital with chest pains only to be discharged and die at home from massive internal bleeding, a ruptured aorta... :(
the rational side of my brain has well and truly been silenced and i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel, im stressing my parents out constantly with my worries and its really affecting our relationship.. my dad thinks im nuts and my mum cant take my worrying anymore. i spent at least half my wages on visits to my GP, or the emergency room...
i want to have every test possible done, i want a full body MRI, a holter monitor everything... but will i ever be happy? I'm trapped in a box, on a leash, and theres nowhere to go :( help