New to this, please reply!!

[Beachbum09]

Hello ladies and gents. I'm new to this forum, but I am having terrible luck with my anxiety/panic/depression. I've had it now for almost 3 years and I don't want to go on medication because of horror stories and watching friends/family become zombies because of it. Ill be 24 in a few months, mother to an amazing 4 year old son and newly married to my sons father. Although most would say "what could you be anxious / stressed / upset about at your age. Well I would just like to say how unbelievably stressed, anxious, upset , lost, confused and depressed I am. I had a rough few years with my husband, we were young parents and I grew up before him. He's still childish sometimes. But as we got older I thought things were starting to get so much better so we decided to get married and stay a family. Let's just say he's a major cause of my anxiety. I'm a stay at home mom, and I feel trapped more than ever, he comes and goes as he pleases and doesn't show much respect. I'm now so annoyed with him I'd rather him not home, sad isn't it. I've come to realize he likes being in control of everything and I'm trying to change that but it's hard, since he makes the money blah blah blah. And because he's never here, he's constantly asking me if I'm cheating? Like really? I'm the one taking care of The house, cooking, and raising our child and he has the nerve to ask me if I'm cheating? Anyways, I see a lot when I'm researching thatbpeople listen to their inner anxiety and how they over come it, and I'm confused to how they do this. Someone please help me!! I don't want to leave my house, or do the fun things i use to do, I'm not happy, I'm not fun, I'm only fun and happy around my son ! I can't be in cars, I get anxiety and get nauseated, panic in public places. Anxiety when husband is around, is this my anxiety and mind telling me he is the problem? Please give advice ... Thank you

[cazzy]

i like to reply back , as i had same feeling no one would reply to me which caused more anxious thoughts , there are alot of forums to read on this site that helps , but in time someone will be feeling like you and will reply pecificaly to you .x

[Pigeon]

Hi there
If your relationship is causing you so much anxiety, you either need to try and talk it through with your husband or get him to go to a relationship counsellor or end the relationship. The controlling behaviour and jealousy are ways of bullying you and not acceptable. I married quite young and put up with a similar siituation for 22 years before realising that emotional abuse is as bad, if not worse than physical abuse.
It may be that he is just immature and will grow out of it. Only you can decide whether to stick with it or not. But I do know that it's your situation that needs sorting out, and i think your anxiety will improve. It wouldn't hurt to go and talk to your doctor sbout how you feel. Medication doesn't always make you feel like a zombie (mine doesn't). Or get in touch with a women's supprt group to see what help and supprt they can give.
Whatever you decide, I hope everthing turns out well for you
Lots of luck
Pigeon:):hugs:

[Beachbum09]

Thank you for your replies! I've noticed lots of posts that a quite a bit of people view but don't reply. That makes me sad! I've tried getting him to go to counseling but he thinks it's stupid. Says, we fight for stupid reasons! But to me they aren't stupid, they make me so angry!!!! Sometimes I wonder how much more I could actually take before I just leave! He's off from work for a few days and he's either played his dumb video games or he has been out. I don't kind if he goes out, everyone deserves a break! But he uses any excuse to leave the house. And because my anxiety an panic is so out of control I don't like leaving my house with him because he just frustrates me and makes fun of me for it. I think I'm going to give it another month or 2 and if no change within our relationship I'm leaving. My anxiety and panic disorders are so out of hand I can't even deal with it any longer ... So once were better, my anxiety won't get better! So here's to hoping it changes.

[PinkRoxy]

I do notice a lot of anxiety medications do tend to make people feel like a zombie. When I was taking seroquol last year for sleep and anxiety I hated them. At first they were alright but then I kept yawning and just didn't feel human it felt like an effort to just interact on a basic level with someone.

I don't know for sure if all of them do that but it might be a good idea to find out which ones do make you less drowsy. I am guessing because anxiety is caused by stimulation through your body then usually medication with a relaxed effect will make you drowsy and feel like a zombie.

But the antidepressants don't seem to have that effect as I think its the opposite to the anxiety ones as it gives you a stimulating effect.

Anyway hun you don't deserve to be with someone who is not going to support you and help you out and if they are going to continue putting you down then you are best not to be with him. I say this to a lot of my friends I am not much older than you and I don't have a husband and kids but I do have many friends that do and have problems. I really do believe that if the relationship does not work then its best not to be together regardless of whether he is the father of your child. You are not going to have a happy life if you are just going to stay with him because of your child.

I am sorry you are going through this right now but I also agree with you going to see your doctor about it and hope you are able to get is sorted because you deserve to be happy and to be treated with respect.