POST FROM BILL: I'm leaving the forum, this time for good xxx

[nomorepanic]

I accidentally deleted this post from bill when I was trying to merge it with one of his other ones along the same theme. I have told Bill I did this and Alex has managed to recover this from the backup so I am re-posting it for Bill.


I wanted to post this just in case anyone wondered why my posts have stopped.

I've simply caused too much conflict on here and upset people including Nic I believe so I want to do the decent thing and not post anymore. I don't know if Nic will remove me or not but I won't object if she does because she'll always be a lovely woman to me which is why I'm upset about causing her so much trouble.

I think it must be something about me and the way I think from what others have told me. Often people have said to me- why did you give me that, why is that so important, that I try to be "too" nice so they say, that I do and say things that others can't understand. I honestly have no idea why I'm like I am but maybe that's why I always feel alone because I feel no one understands me. Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I never feel I belong in this world. It doesn't seem to matter where I am, I always feel the same. It's something about me but I honestly don't know what.

Just to give you an example, a counsellor once said to me "You have to love yourself before you can love others". I replied by asking "Why, because I feel I can give alot of love to others even though I don't love myself because others happiness are more important to me". She then said to me "What if they don't love you back" and I said "That's up to them, I just do what I feel is right to make them happy. I'm not important." She was really confused.

Anyway, I don't want to get into a debate about that because this is my last post so please forgive me for not replying to any responses.

Please know though that I have loved the people I have had the pleasure to help on here and if Nic doesn't remove me, you are always welcome to pm me if you want to know how I'm getting on. If she does remove me, I really won't object because I'll understand in which case I'll see if I can ask someone to accept pm's on my behalf so I can give those who wish to stay in touch with me my email address.

I have outstayed my welcome. It really is time to move on this time but at least I'll have time now to concentrate on other things. I honestly don't know if I should try helping on forums anymore though because wherever I go I feel I probably won't belong anyway. It really doesn't matter though because there are plenty of other things I can get on with.

Please always take very good care of yourselves and remember, regardless if I've upset you or not, I will always care about your well being. The only person who deserves any blame is me for not knowing how to keep quiet.

I have met some truly lovely people on here so always remember how special you are.

Goodbye and very best wishes to everyone. I won't be coming back to post anymore. I promise.:bighug1:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[nomorepanic]

This reply was from auntiemoosie:

Bill, Bill, Bill :)

I ask you to please read what I'm going to say, think about it, digest it, clear your mind and reconsider what you're doing :)

Bill you have not caused "too much conflict" okay there has been a difference of opinion and yes, unfortunately people have been hurt. The hurt has gone to both sides of the fence, because reading what you have written has me understanding that you also feel hurt.

Bill it doesn't mean that all is lost, it most certainly isn't :) It's not the end of the world, we can all move on from this and remain friends and continue to help and support each other :)

You know in life, we're all going to have different opinions, and I'm glad that we do, otherwise life would soon become very boring and uninteresting. All that we have done is had a bit of a heated debate and, yes, things may have been said that shouldn't have been, which often happens when debates take place.

I would hate for you to feel that you have to leave NMP because of this, I really don't think that anyone here would want you to do that Bill :)

You kind of remind me of how I was many years ago. I used to think that anything that went wrong had to be all my fault and I deserved all that was thrown at me. But that isn't true Bill, you don't deserve to outcast yourself, it's self punishment that you're talking about and you don't need to be doing that :)

We all understand and respect your opinion, we may not agree with it, but that doesn't matter and it doesn't turn you into a "bad" person :)

You obviously have very strong feelings about the issue we discussed and sometimes we can easily get swept away with those feelings, I know, because I've done the very same thing a few times myself :)

Bill I have always enjoyed reading your posts, you are a very caring person and I know that a lot of people here also enjoy reading your posts :)

When I read your posts just now, I could sense a strong feeling of sadness in you, you seem to be hurting right now and when we feel like that, we often go into defence mode, it's a self protection thing that we all do :)

Bill I don't think for one moment that anyone would want you to leave.

Please just take some time out, let this all fade as it will do with time. Please talk to us if you're having a tough or painful time right now.

Bill all I ask is that you have a good think, I know that you're a very intelligent person and you have a lot to offer.

Well I need to go and try to sleep now but please just stop and think about what I've said. I, for one, don't hold anything against you and I'm sure that others wont either, it was just a heated debate that went a little too far on both sides.
:hugs::hugs:

[nomorepanic]

This reply was from Tessar:

Bill, I agree with Moosie.
I have read many of your posts and they very often contain sound and supportive information which has proved useful to people.
In terms of debate and offering a differing opinion, there is nothing wrong with that. Nothing.
Recently I put up a post about something I did which I felt was a personal triumph. I had anticipated that I'd get 100% support about my actions but I did have a mixed reaction. The thing is though that I took on board what other people had said to me. I appreciated that they spoke their mind. I would much rather people were open and honest with me than just said what they think I want to hear.
Sometimes I might put up posts about how I'm feeling. Again I'm seeking support but also I'm hopig that if someone has an alternative and often more halthy viewpoint than I have (because I'm too close to what's going on) then I welcome that alternative.
The whole thing here for me is it provides support but also food for thought.
If everyone thought likewise this forum would, in my humble opinion, be pointless.
Its because we offer each other support and information and also provide examples of how you can deal with things (as we have done in our own experience) that the site works for me.
So, I'm in agreement. Dont punish yourself; hang around. I can relate to feeling uncomfortable with how people react to what you might say but you are entitled to your view just like everyone else.
So there we are, humble little me has spoken. So thanks for giving me an opportunity to try & offer a worthwhile input. See, Bill. You've got me thinking now and that 's a good thing.

[nomorepanic]

I am sorry that I have lost any other replies to this post. I think there was one more reply from someone so if they could repost it please.

Thank You and sorry again Bill

[Sparkle1984]

I hope you won't leave the forum, Bill. I've found your posts very detailed and helpful and I'd be sad to see you go. It's OK to have a difference in opinion. Instead of leaving the forum permanently, I think it would be better to take time out for a few days. That's what I do if someone says something which makes me feel uncomfortable (although no one has ever intentionally made me feel uncomfortable, I'm mostly talking about if someone posts something I find triggering or upsetting). When I come back, I feel like I can think about the situation more objectively.

[Annie0904]

Hi Bill I have always found your posts to be interesting and informative and I hope that you won't leave us. I am not sure what the discussion was that led you to feel this way but we all have our own opinions. I think when we have anxiety it is easier to take things to heart and let them upset us, I know I do this but at the end of the day we are all here to help each other and hopefully put our differences behind us. Please stay with us. :hugs:

[Daisy Sue]

I also don't know the ins and outs of the conflict you feel has taken place, Bill, but I would say this...

The fact that you've felt able to be so open here, with your views and opinions, speaks volumes about how relaxed and comfortable you are in this forum, and I think you'd be losing a lot if you walked away.

Nobody apart from you has ever mentioned you leaving or being banned, as far as I can see, and everyone is unique - we all have our different points of view on things, some stronger than others.. your opinions are what make you you.

Don't go... just have a break if you need.

[ricardo]

It was from me,but I don't remember the exact wording but as there were two threads at the time I felt Bill didn't really want to leave or be banned even though he has strong principles about certain things, (or words to that effect.)

[BobbyDog]

I also think you should not leave NMP.

I have found your posts really helpful, enabling me to look again at how I deal with and view my anxiety.

Quote: You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.

Some are more sensitive than others.

[Tufty]

Dear Bill,

I'd just like to say thank you for all the care and advice you have shown to me on this site. Your posts are thoughtful and intelligent and have made a real difference to me. Your post at the beginning of this thread brought tears to my eyes


Just to give you an example, a counsellor once said to me "You have to love yourself before you can love others". I replied by asking "Why, because I feel I can give alot of love to others even though I don't love myself because others happiness are more important to me". She then said to me "What if they don't love you back" and I said "That's up to them, I just do what I feel is right to make them happy. I'm not important." She was really confused.

I am not confused just very sad that you felt/feel this way. This demonstrates your caring, giving nature for which I am personally grateful for. Please do what is right for you but please remember you are amoung friends here.
Love and :hugs:
Sam

[AuntieMoosie]

Nic many thanks for reposting this thread :hugs:

[blue moon]

My sweet,caring friend,I just like to say you are loved:bighug1:
Petra xxx:hugs:

[Granny Primark]

I dont know you Bill but its obvious from the posts on here that you are a very special, well loved caring person and there are are loads of people that care and love you lots. Take time out for a little while if that helps but dont leave nmp completely. xx

[LucyR]

He is such a discriptive writer and puts such a lot into his posts. I can only think he is very intelligent with a lot to offer others on the forums.

[Serenitie]

You are a star, Bill! I will be your friend wherever your light shines! :yesyes:

You live by your principles and your opinions are well founded and expressed eloquently.

You help and inspire many.Continue being you. Your opinion is valuable and your compassion for others immense. More like you in this world would make it a better place. Keep being you, Bill. If leaving here serves you well, do it. If staying benefits you, stay.

Start saving some of that compassion that you give so freely to others for yourself!

You're stuck with me whatever your decision:winks:

Much love to you, as always, Bill.

Cat xxx:bighug1:

[blue moon]

DITTO....Cat.:D
Petra x