Panic, anxiety and depression.

[Trixie]

About two weeks ago today I had a mammogram and there on the monitor (which the radiographer had for some reason pointing in my direction) I could see my boob with a white pea shape/size object I mentioned it to the radiographer and she went red and turned the monitor away. For 11 days I worried myself silly over (it I had a letter in the following Thursday to say my boobs were cancer free) worried about my two grown up children who still live at home (I am the carer to one).

Anyway this Saturday my daughter and I were watching something on the TV when all of a sudden a dark cloud came over me and I felt terrible. The next day I was the same, with thousands of butterflies in my stomach and crying all the time and feeling as if I just wanted to throw everything in the house away (?) and also a feeling that I was going to vomit.

The focus of my depression is based on my two children and the fear that if I was to die I wouldn't see them again. I have had this before a few years ago and was put on Cipralex. I am due to go to the doctors soon and hopefully she will give me something to help me feel normal again.
The children's father is dead.

Has anyone else felt like this?

[Col]

Hi trixie. I think most people would understand your worries and as a mum of 2 myself, I have pondered over this! There is nothing more heartbreaking, especially when your children are babies, young or dependant on you,than worrying about deaths and leaving your children and not seeing them grow up. I often get upset just thinking about this. I don't know what to really say but I too feel this and it's awful, scary and very upsetting.:hugs:

[Trixie]

Hi trixie. I think most people would understand your worries and as a mum of 2 myself, I have pondered over this! There is nothing more heartbreaking, especially when your children are babies, young or dependant on you,than worrying about deaths and leaving your children and not seeing them grow up. I often get upset just thinking about this. I don't know what to really say but I too feel this and it's awful, scary and very upsetting.:hugs:

I have just returned from the doctors and she gave me Cipralex and is going to refer me for counselling.

[Col]

Ahh Trixie, I hope it goes well, let us know how you get on and any tips for others who have this, takecare.

[Trixie]

Ahh Trixie, I hope it goes well, let us know how you get on and any tips for others who have this, takecare.

I will. I have been on this before and it worked the last time although I did put on weight.:mad:

[Col]

That's annoying but emotionally and psychologically it's better to be well x

[xvolatileheart]

I don't have children, but I have the black cloud, butterfly, sick, emotional feeling a lot. I hope the medication works for you again!

[Trixie]

I don't have children, but I have the black cloud, butterfly, sick, emotional feeling a lot. I hope the medication works for you again!

And me, because I hate feeling this way especially with my daughter as she is. I need to be the old me for her and my son.:weep:

[Trixie]

I am now throwing things away (well giving them to the charity shop) that I think I don't need any more. But it's more of throwing things out from the past I cannot really explain it. I threw all my tea towels away and bought new ones and now I have just gone in my wardrobe and thrown out things that I haven't worn in years.

I can't explain why I am doing it because I am an avid collector of things but I just feel the need to throw certain things away.

Does anyone have any ideas on why I am doing this?