View Full Version : Terrible day...really upset :(
Woke up this morning (after very little sleep!), terrible sore throat. Had my psychotherapy at 9:30. Had forgotten to post a birthday card so had to post it by hand (8 miles away). Got home checked my emails...I had an email from HR at work. I had told 3 of my friends at work about my leaving but asked them not to say anything as it wasn't finalised yet. One of them has told others and it has spread through the grapevine. I have also had an email from one of the students who she told and the student is annoyed with me for not telling her myself and said she will never email me again. Anyway the email from work more or less says that my boss is not happy with me for telling others. I feel so sick after hearing all this. I have phoned HR and given my apologies and there is nothing else I can do really. Well all this set my IBS off. I have been for my physio appointment this afternoon and that was painful! I just feel so rubbish now. Shaking, tearful :weep: My therapy is about helping me to feel better about myself and I have done something now that has upset others and I feel worse :weep: I am supposed to be going to a meeting about other work tomorrow so hope I will feel better as I had to cancel it last week. I feel so sick.
anxietyoverload
26-02-13, 15:52
Aw Annie :( I know that even though my anxiety is health related I hate things like this and I worry about it constantly afterwards, but this is not your fault.
If you felt you could trust your friends enough to tell them what was going on, that is no crime. This is their fault for telling other people something that was private.
Your work should not have emailed you regarding this matter when you are off work, it simply causes more stress and they have completely gone the wrong way about it.
Hope you ok. xxx
It sounds like your day went as well as mine ! I don't think you have really upset anyone the student was probly just over reacting in the moment I'm sure she won't be worrying about it as much as you are now . And don't worry about everyone finding out I've done that many times and wish I had never said anything and feel bad and embarrassed but I was always think well they would find out eventually anyway . Have a rest and a herbal tea I recently tried camomile tea and found that helps me relax when you haven't slept well it is so easy to get overwhelmed and tearful x
smileforawhile
26-02-13, 16:00
Sorry to hear about your bad day. Try not to dwell too much on the work situation too much because it seems to me that the colleague who spread the news is more at fault rather than you. I think it is perfectly acceptable to have expected professional confidentiality from colleagues privy to the information. It certainly was not ok for it to be shared with a student. Your boss should really be speaking to the colleagues who spread it. Well done for taking the step to phone HR but your colleague really owes you the apology. I'm not surprised that you are feeling rubbish after a trigger like that. Hope you feel better soon.
Hi Annie,
I agree with what smileforawhile has said. i would not like to work with anyone
who did not keep a promise. Not listening apparently, after you had said keep it to themselves :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Take care
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I have made myself a cup of chamomile tea but just feel rubbish. I wasn't actually told not to tell anyone and I only told those who I worked with the closest. I never thought that one of them would discuss it will others. Even when I phoned to apologise to HR she stressed how much trouble it could cause. I really didn't think it was such a big thing. :weep:
---------- Post added at 16:35 ---------- Previous post was at 16:31 ----------
I just had an email from the colleague apologising to me for telling people.
---------- Post added at 17:13 ---------- Previous post was at 16:35 ----------
And now I have just picked something up from under the stairs and bashed my head! Can the day get any worse?! :weep:
almamatters
26-02-13, 17:23
Sorry you are feeling like this Annie. Hope you are feeling better soon :hugs: xx
AuntieMoosie
26-02-13, 17:27
Annie it really isn't such a big thing, it's just that, as usual, other people are making it into a big thing, but that's their problem, not yours :)
This is why I find life so damn complicated these days, we now have to spend most of our time thinking "oh I mustn't say this and I mustn't say that, I might upset this person and I might upset that one" and it goes on and on till you end up being driven close to insanity :wacko:
You've done what you have decided is right for you, it really doesn't matter 2 jots whether it got leaked out or not, your employer already knew what was to happen so it really wasn't a secret for them, just can't understand why they are trying to make it into a big issue.
You've apologised to them now and that's all you can do Annie.
Try and find something really nice and pleasant to do for the rest of the day and just let this go over your head, it will all work out fine in the end :hugs:
Thanks Alma, I wish I didn't let things worry me so much...why can't I just be one of those people who can just say "So what" (or maybe more colourful words :))
---------- Post added at 17:32 ---------- Previous post was at 17:28 ----------
Thank you Auntie Moosie..I always see everything as a big thing and over analyze and think my boss must really hate me now. This is something I am working on with my therapist. Pity I hadn't got the email before I saw her this morning! I guess it doesn't help that I didn't sleep last night, still have a sore throat and my ibs is playing havoc :ohmy: I really need to work on changing my thought processes.
Sunshine77
26-02-13, 17:40
Ahh Annie sorry to hear about your lousy day. I agree with others who've said you've done nothing wrong. As for your student, you couldn't tell them all individually, could you? Either now or when it's finalised.
It's a job you're not going back to so if you have ruffled a few feathers then it's not the end of the world. And even knowing you only through this forum I know that you would never do anything to upset people deliberately, and I'm sure your (ex) employers know that about you too.
I always feel more sensitive after lack of sleep. Look after yourself, lots of chamomile tea and cuddles from the cats :) xxx
Thank you Sunshine :hugs: xx
Well annie, the way I look at it, those trusted people should have kept their big mouths shut. This situation is totally of their creation. I dont feel you have done anything wrong at all here but of course I undersatnd why you'd feel bad.
The student is probably disappointed and again I can understand that but its the same scenario - those people should have kept quiet. They didnt think about the implications of opening their mouth & saying something that you'd made clear was confidential.
I'm so sorry you've had such a crap day. I'm sending you big hugs & hoping that your throat will start getting better soon.
You look after yourself and DONT beat yourself up over this you hear? Remember: You havent done anything you shouldnt have. In fact you have gone out of your way over all this "to do the right thing". Even now when others have made mistakes, you have been big enough to make an apology. Its the others who should be apologising believe me.
So, you remember: You are a nice, kind person. Something here has backfired but it's not of your own creation.
Aarggggghhh, some people..... if I could kick their butts I'd be over there. Your student will probably come round too. Their reaction is of course a mark of how much you meant to them and that will not change. The history you have with them from before is still there & everything you have done for that studen and many, many others goes unchanged.
Its just a shame that people who should know better let themselves down.
SO, you be good then, look after yourself wont you.
I'm about to drive home now but will check in again when I get home & make sure you're ok.
These mates of mine are gonna get those thoughtless people for you:
:curse::curse::curse::banned::banned::banned::bust ed::busted::busted::ban::ban::ban::curse::curse::c urse:
These ones are here to look after you:
:emot-woot::emot-worship::emot-woot::emot-worship::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug:
Thank you Tessar and friends (a busted and a cursed escaped!). Hopefully if I can sleep tonight things will feel better tomorrow. My friend called to see me and all I could do was cry and say how I always let others down so he like all of you tried to convince me I haven't :D
Annie, I agree with everyone else - you've done absolutely nothing wrong and mustn't take your colleagues' reactions on board. We all know what workplaces are like -full of Chinese whispers and huddles round the water-cooler - and in the 'excitement' of leaked news that you are leaving, consideration and respect for your privacy and your feelings has gone out of the window. Shame on them all! Why do people never stop to think how their actions might affect others? I'm pretty sure that we anxiety sufferers do try to do this. Anyway I hope you feel a bit better both physically and mentally tomorrow. My first daffodil poked out its head for a look around today so it must nearly be Spring. Hurrah! Take care.
Thank you Clarrie, I feel exhausted now after all the worry. I am going to run the bath and make myself a cup of Horlicks.
Annie, I'm more of a lurker but from the posts I've seen on here, you are a lovely person. Please don't let these people make you feel bad or guilty, because it's just making you ill and that's not fair.
Sorry you've had such a hard day, Annie... hope tomorrow's a whole lot better for you! :hugs:
Thank you Tessar and friends (a busted and a cursed escaped!). Hopefully if I can sleep tonight things will feel better tomorrow. My friend called to see me and all I could do was cry and say how I always let others down so he like all of you tried to convince me I haven't :D
Little buggers they are always getting away!! Am I allowed to use that word on here?? One wouldn't want to be rude!!:blush::blush::shrug::shrug::lac::lac::lac:: mad::mad:
---------- Post added at 21:51 ---------- Previous post was at 21:48 ----------
Thank you Clarrie, I feel exhausted now after all the worry. I am going to run the bath and make myself a cup of Horlicks. errrrr yuk... I really DON'T do horlicks..... :lac::lac::lac::lac::redcard::redcard::redcard::re dcard::redcard::redcard::redcard::redcard:
Oh no,even more have got away.....:mad:
Thank you Arose, that is very nice of you to say :)
---------- Post added at 21:56 ---------- Previous post was at 21:54 ----------
Thank you Daisy Sue and Tessar, Horlicks is good
Tessar, Horlicks is good
No NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:scared15::lac::lac::weep::mad:: ohmy:
Annie, I agree with everyone else - you've done absolutely nothing wrong and mustn't take your colleagues' reactions on board. We all know what workplaces are like -full of Chinese whispers and huddles round the water-cooler - and in the 'excitement' of leaked news that you are leaving, consideration and respect for your privacy and your feelings has gone out of the window. Shame on them all! Why do people never stop to think how their actions might affect others? I'm pretty sure that we anxiety sufferers do try to do this. Anyway I hope you feel a bit better both physically and mentally tomorrow. My first daffodil poked out its head for a look around today so it must nearly be Spring. Hurrah! Take care.
Don't people love drama & management love - the power, whatever industry your in and at someone else's cost! Ohh annie , more of a reason to move on!
I don't trust my own parents , so anyone else it really doesn't surprise me if they break trust! However , discusting they obviously know why your leaving , so a bit of sensitivity to that and then maybe to think - best not blab, might not have gone a miss. Disregard less they broke your trust , knowing how unwell you have been and knowing this could potentially worsen your condition and your agreement with work! Nasty,if they contact you , I'd tell them to do one & they know exactly why!
XXX
My Union rep sent me an email this morning and suggested that I don't use my work email anymore then if any other students or staff contact me I won't be at risk of getting more upset. He also said it was a typical response from a student who cared enough about me to miss me so much and possibly feeling some rejection. This is what has hurt me most though as I know she is a child who has had lots of rejection (She is in a Children's home). I am going to ask another member of staff (who I know I can trust!) to speak to her for me and maybe when everything is sorted I will be able to see her.
My biggest problem is that even when I know it is someone else at fault I always think it is mine. This has come from my ex husband manipulating me and always blaming everything on me. Even though that was many years ago I still feel like everything is my fault and I deserve to be treated bad. Something I am working on with my therapist. If I had voted for David Cameron I would be blaming the state of the country on myself! Lucky I didn't vote for him :D
Sunshine77
27-02-13, 08:59
Morning Annie, glad to hear you sounding a bit brighter today. I am the same, I take the blame for things that really are not my stuff at all. I think I apologised to my hubby 100 times last night for quitting my job even though he was encouraging me to do it in the first place!
It's that old friend, Low Self-Esteem, making an appearance again...
Hope you slept ok and have a nice gentle day :hugs:
I had a good nights sleep but only because I gave in and took diazepam. Yes it is low self esteem. My goal with my therapist is to feel better about myself and feel that I am a worthy person. I bought myself some cardigans that were not in a sale and told myself "because your worth it" but those doubts are still lurking there. I took the labels off straight away so I can't take them back :D
I seem to be getting worse again as the day goes on as well as anxious I feel really depressed...can't stop crying :weep::weep::weep:
anxietyoverload
27-02-13, 13:31
Annie, I'm, sure those people who you trusted would feel awful if they knew how they had made you feel! :(
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or what else is going out, try concentrate on yourself because you are worth it! x
I have a really bad throat at the moment too so that is making me feel worse. It is also my husbands birthday at the weekend and we have 20 family come for tea on Saturday so now I am worried how I will cope with that. I just want to hide away...I am so sick of this, I just seem to start being my old self then something else knocks me back down :(
---------- Post added at 13:45 ---------- Previous post was at 13:37 ----------
I also have a dentists appointment tomorrow :(
anxietyoverload
27-02-13, 13:49
Everyone hates the dentist dont they! It may seem daunting that you have all those people coming round for your husbands birthday, but it might turn out that it takes your mind off things. Keep the mind occupied :) Although I can relate! with all I have going on at the minute I dont want to go out on saturday for my brothers birthday! x
Wouldn't it be nice if we could get excited about things like birthdays instead of feeling so apprehensive :)
anxietyoverload
27-02-13, 14:09
It would indeed! However I can't see that happening for me anytime soon! x
Good luck at the weekend with the birthday party, I am sure it will all go just fine but I can understand your anxiety at the moment. In a moment of unusual optimism a couple of months ago I booked a short break to Scotland (haven't been on a proper holiday for years) and now the time has come and I'm dreading it. For a start I'm setting off tonight way after my bedtime and catching the overnight sleeper from Euston. Arrive in Scotland for breakfast. My worst fear is that I won't sleep a wink and will be dragging myself around the sights all day feeling like death. Without the anxiety I'd be really looking forward to this, instead I already want to be back home. Why can't we take these things in our stride? Guess we all feel safer hiding away! Hope you feel better soon anyway.
Good luck at the weekend with the birthday party, I am sure it will all go just fine but I can understand your anxiety at the moment. In a moment of unusual optimism a couple of months ago I booked a short break to Scotland (haven't been on a proper holiday for years) and now the time has come and I'm dreading it. For a start I'm setting off tonight way after my bedtime and catching the overnight sleeper from Euston. Arrive in Scotland for breakfast. My worst fear is that I won't sleep a wink and will be dragging myself around the sights all day feeling like death. Without the anxiety I'd be really looking forward to this, instead I already want to be back home. Why can't we take these things in our stride? Guess we all feel safer hiding away! Hope you feel better soon anyway.
I did the same I booked a holiday in Croatia in May and it is an early morning flight and I really don't do mornings! I hope you manage to sleep and have a lovely time in Scotland :) xx
Thanks. This is a big step for me, I hope I can make some progress. Otherwise I'll be back on here on Sunday in bits!
I hope you have lots of good news to tell on Sunday :) xx
Sorry you've had a rubbish day!
Aww you traveled 8 miles just to make sure someone recieved birthday wishes! That is so sweet! :)
It's not your fault people know. It's not your fault the student is annoyed at you and I don't think it's a reason to never email you again! :( So try to not worry about that.
Just remind yourself you are leaving your work because that is the best thing for you to do. Do not beat yourself up about this controversy at work! It's all politics and you can't get yourself emotionally attached even though I know it's hard!
I'm sure everything will be okay in the end. I was ready to end it all last week but here I am. I thought my future career was ruined, but it's not! I'm still here trying to help myself and get where I want to go, so I feel you deserve to do the same! :)
It will not be as bad as you fear so do not fear this situation. Just keep your head held high and know you are only doing what's best for you and if others don't like them to hell with 'em! You don't need people making your life difficult - it's difficult enough!
So keep your head held high and be kind and loving to yourself, have a hot beverage and a warm bath and try to relax and be kind to yourself! :)
All the best xxx
---------- Post added at 20:45 ---------- Previous post was at 20:44 ----------
Also I think you are very brave to leave your current job to better yourself! You should be proud you are moving upwards and on-wards to much better things! :)
Sorry you've been having a rough couple of days again Annie - it's every time anything at work crops up, isn't it? Just goes to prove that you've made the right decision to leave there and follow your heart!
You know what I've already said on Facebook so I won't repeat myself, except to say that that's what I always try to remember when I feel like I'm stuck on a road with no exits :)
Thank you Joanna, Some days I can feel so confident and then the next I even panic about walking down the stairs! I'll get there though. I think once all the legal stuff is sorted at work I might feel a bit better..I hope so :D x
---------- Post added at 20:51 ---------- Previous post was at 20:48 ----------
Sorry you've been having a rough couple of days again Annie - it's every time anything at work crops up, isn't it? Just goes to prove that you've made the right decision to leave there and follow your heart!
You know what I've already said on Facebook so I won't repeat myself, except to say that that's what I always try to remember when I feel like I'm stuck on a road with no exits :)
You know..you are right Elle-Kay..it is every time something at work crops up. Hopefully soon I won't have any more to do with it xx
have been to the doctors this morning and I have tonsillitis. I felt so ill in the waiting room that I just sat and cried. The receptionist got me a glass of water. My doctor said "Why are you crying, I can fix your throat you know, or do you have some other problems you want to tell me about?" So he got everything!!! I just told him all my worries and said I was concerned about this ESA working group thing. He said that he has a paralysed patient who has also been put in the working group!
Sending you hugs Annie:hugs::hugs::hugs:So glad you got to tell the doc everything. Can you believe it!!!!!!!!!
Sending you hugs Annie:hugs::hugs::hugs:So glad you got to tell the doc everything. Can you believe it!!!!!!!!!
My doctor knows me well so knew there would be more to tell :)
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
yes more hugs to you annie............
:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
MissHDynamite
28-02-13, 16:28
Hello Annie and All ... So sorry to hear you've been having a few bad days again Annie. I should think the tonsilitis is from feeling run down. Try not to dwell on anything especially your work collegues tittle tattling. Your doing whats best for you and not everyone else and thats a good thing (and makes a change :D)
Big hugs and hope your feeling much better very soon :hugs: xxx
Hello MissH how are you? Well today is my last day of employment but all the legal bits are not sorted yet.
So today I have tonsillitis, I had to cancel my dentist appointment...since then a piece has broken of my back tooth and we have just had a phone call to say my husbands uncle has died :(. They say everything happens at once!!
Sunshine77
28-02-13, 18:12
Oh Annie, what a week you are having!!
Remember you can't fix it all at once. Just be gentle with yourself and take things one tiny step at a time. I'm sorry about your loss, were you & your husband close to him?
Take care and many :hugs: :hugs: to you xx
Yes we were Sunshine, he was a lovely man and always made us so welcome. We sometimes used to go and stay with him, at least he will be back with Auntie again now and he had a good life xx
MissHDynamite
28-02-13, 18:52
Sad news Annie.. I am still very much up and down. If it's not one thing it's another. Got my thyroid sorted, then they found blood in my urine!.. had an ultrasound and x ray on bladder, kidneys and liver last week.. yesterday had a camera up into my bladder (ouch!) luckily all looked fine so just want me to have a CT scan on tubes between bladder and kidney.. So I am thinking "great" I can stop stressing but then he pipes up with whilst doing the internal he felt a lump on my cervix and has referred me to gynecology! I have also broken a huge chunk of one of my teeth but was so scared at the dentist as he said it is bad and needs pulling he put a temp filling in while I pluck up the courage :doh: I wouldn't mind the appointments it's getting there that's my problem aaarrgghhhh!
On an upnote, my anxiety is nowhere near as bad as it was before tablets and have started a weekly group CBT until my one to one is due. xx
aww missH you are really going through it at the moment. I am pleased your anxiety levels are settling down though. :hugs::hugs::hugs:
MissHDynamite
28-02-13, 19:46
I know we keep saying it but we WILL get there............................... eventually :)
You should start to feel better after a couple of day on antibiotics so keep smiling x
I hope so...it is my hubby's birthday tomorrow and all the family are coming home for the weekend! Don't know how I will cope. i was going to spend the day cleaning the house :(
Sunshine77
28-02-13, 23:22
They are coming to see him and you, not to inspect your surfaces for dust :)
You first, house later.
Are you cooking for them all too? :hugs:
bernie1977
01-03-13, 01:58
It's not raining but pouring for you at the moment Annie.
Sorry to hear about your hubby's Uncle. Get as much rest as you can as tonsillitis can be very draining if you have a bad case of it.
Take care :hugs:
Sunshine I am just getting pizzas and buffet food. It needs to be collected from the shop tomorrow (on order)
Thank you Bernie
I feel so much worse this morning. Going to try and get downstairs to make myself a drink. Everything aches this morning :weep::weep::weep:
Ahhh annie I've had a rubbish week too, and feel very virusey???Just having a cuppa now just drop little girl off at school.
Sooo sorry to hear the sad new :hugs:
Sunshine77
01-03-13, 09:46
Annie and Col, do you think germs can travel through the internet? :winks:
I have woken this morning with a sore throat, prickly nose and sore eyes and am definitely coming down with something!
Annie it sounds like bed is the best place for you; hope the antibiotics kick in soon xx
Oh no we are all dropping down like flies :( it must be an internet virus :D
Ohhhh no, ahhhh sunshine you take it easy too.
Spring is here, hurrayyyyy C
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