Violet1
26-02-13, 23:12
Hi, I'm 33 with 4 kids. I am happy with my life, apart from I have health anxiety, not all the time maybe twice a year I go though a real meltdown convinced I have some sort of cancer, and end up going for and normally paying to go privately for tests costing £100's, money i dont have! I do go on the health anxiety forum. I am ok with that at the minute. My other problem is I worry a lot, not like 'normal' people. I am terribly negative and always think the worst. For example my 10 year old son has gone on a school trip Monday to Friday, we don't have any contact and I am freaking out big time. He went yesterday and I'm in constant tears, panicking, all sorts of terrible things going through my head. I'm so worried about him. Not sure how I will get through next few days :-(
When I am fine, life going well, kids and husband ok and I'm ok, my worries don't leave me totally, although the majority of the time I'm fine. For example, say I see an ambulance with sirens on, I look at it and have a moment of total panic, stomach churning etc...if it is going in the direction of say the kids school. I know this sounds crazy, and I won't tell anyone about that as they will think I'm mad! My husband knows what I'm like and gets frustrated with me thinking this way, and says 'don't think like that' etc.... Obviously if I could do that I would, I hate being like this. But I have thought like this I would say the last 20 years, how can you change the way your brain thinks?! I have been to the doctor about this, he have me a month of citiopham (not sure if spelling!) which I'm too 'worried' to take because of side effects! I also had 3 sessions of cbt on the phone which was rubbish. Is it likely this will be how I'll be forever? Will I 'grow' out of it? Any advice would be great.
When I am fine, life going well, kids and husband ok and I'm ok, my worries don't leave me totally, although the majority of the time I'm fine. For example, say I see an ambulance with sirens on, I look at it and have a moment of total panic, stomach churning etc...if it is going in the direction of say the kids school. I know this sounds crazy, and I won't tell anyone about that as they will think I'm mad! My husband knows what I'm like and gets frustrated with me thinking this way, and says 'don't think like that' etc.... Obviously if I could do that I would, I hate being like this. But I have thought like this I would say the last 20 years, how can you change the way your brain thinks?! I have been to the doctor about this, he have me a month of citiopham (not sure if spelling!) which I'm too 'worried' to take because of side effects! I also had 3 sessions of cbt on the phone which was rubbish. Is it likely this will be how I'll be forever? Will I 'grow' out of it? Any advice would be great.