Major life changes...how do you cope?

[kittikat]

As an anxiety/panic/agoraphobia sufferer, how do you deal with the prospect of major life changes in both your professional and personal life?

I have some big decisions to make regarding work and I also have some personal issues that could mean the 'safe comfort' of the familiar but restricted life I exist in could possibly change beyond belief at some point in the future.

This is a very uncertain time for me. At best if I manage one thing a day at the moment, that is a major achievement for me. My head is spinning and I don't know if I am coming or going. My mind is consumed with fear and confusion and I just don't know where to start on looking forward into a future that scares the hell out of me for many reasons, yet could be the making of me at the same time.

Thanks for reading. Kitti :)

[oh no_1]

it is very hard isnt it..... i gone through so much in such short space of time..... breakdown...... having no choice but to resign from my job..... and then the thought of not beem able to afford counselling anymore due to going down in pay :(
i dont know how our mind does it to carry on but it does.... guess we find out how strong we are, find some inner strength.

[BobbyDog]

I am so sorry the hear you are going through such a struggle at the moment Kitti. You will find your inner strength to help you through this, hopefully the major life changes looming over you will have a positive impact on your life. They could be forward steps instead of backward ones.

I can relate to your situation regarding daily major achievements, I myself can only undertake one necessary step each day, otherwise I get in a real flap. e.g. doctor appointment, making an important phone call etc.

It will be spring time in a few weeks, we have something to look forward to; lighter evenings, warmer temperatures, green trees and grass. Time to take pleasure in the simple things around us.

Take care, wishing you success.x

[little wren]

kittikat - I feel for you. The only way I can deal with change is to think of one small thing that might just get better because of it. You mention your life is 'familiar and restricted' maybe think of one positive thing that you might be able to do if the change occurs. I agree when you have anxiety disorders change looms like a mountain (it is the unknown) but I think your last sentence sums it up 'I just don't know where to start on looking forward into a future that scares the hell out of me for many reasons, yet could be the making of me at the same time'. There is hope. I know sometimes things are out of our control but is it possible to break it down and tackle one thing at a time?

[ricardo]

Sometimes it is not possible to deal or try to deal with one thing at a time.
I have 3 major issues going on at the same time and I can't put them off and it is seriously affecting my health and anxiety.

My daughter's on going illness has to be addressed back in the UK ASAP (our doctor'd advise)

I have to try and arrage all of the things involved in getting back to the UK including the dogs and as far as I am concerned that is a military operation as for the past year I have been practically housebound.

The house we are renting is being repossed by the bank and the owner has gone missing and we have to find a place to live in the UK and my wife is the only one who can arrange that but can't leave my daughter or myself by ourselves and there is no one over here to trust to help.

[xtremx]

Hi Kitti

I'm Sorry for what you are having to comprehend.

You are right that you everyone must take one day at a time and everyone's future is uncertain..
But is it not the knowing that the uncertainty of tomorrow may bring us what we are looking for something that makes us who we are.


This may not help but a proverb says
""The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials."

I hope all goes well for you and you are able to make the right choice for you and only for you

Chris xx

[Annie0904]

Kittikat I am going through similar feelings at the moment. I have left work and I know I have made the right decision but I have just gone into panic mode! I am trying to take it one day at a time. Someone contacted me offering me other work which I would like to do (Just a few hours a week) I was supposed to be going to a meeting about it today but I have had to cancel. I have asked her to give me a few weeks. I am thinking if I am struggling with my daily routine then it is not the time to be thinking about other work. :hugs::hugs:xx

[kittikat]

Thank you so much for all your kind replies. I will take on board what you have said.

Annie, I know you are having a tough time too, but you are one brave lady and I admire that in you :hugs:

Oh no...I know that you have had a tough time too, you have been so strong. I wish you all the best :hugs:

Ricardo, I am so sorry that you are facing such an ordeal. I hope things work out for you. My issues seem insignificant compared to yours. I wish you all the best :hugs:

BobbyDog & little wren, thank you for your support, much appreciated. I am trying the 'one thing at a time approach' I need to make a list and try to do the most important things first :hugs:

Chris, thank you. There is another saying..."I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become" I guess time will tell on that one! :hugs:x

[ricardo]

kitticat,

Thank you for your kind words but I am actually going to plead with anyone to try and help me get out of this predicament.

We all have our faults and though I have never been an aggressive person I sometimes jump in at certain comments when maybe I should stand back and say nothing.

I retain a sense of humour which keeps me sane though it may not appeal to many but my intentions are always meant to be good and bring a smile to others even if it is only for a few minutes a day.

I was in two minds about opening up a thread about the points I raised but feel a little awkward in going into to much detail.

[Annie0904]

Ricardo I know this in not my thread but I am sure Kittikat won't mind me replying to your post. I know you always try to help others and you are going through so much yourself. I think you should post your problems, maybe someone can help you and give you some advise. I really wish there was something I could do to help as I know how much all this upheaval is getting you down. Your signature quote is just how I am :) My therapist keeps telling me to pretend I am someone else with my problem...what would I say to them. :hugs::hugs:

[Rennie1989]

All I can suggest is to take each day as it comes. Forget the big picture at the end, just concentrate on today and then tomorrow when it gets there. I moved from a seaside town in Kent to London in September 2011 so I can sympathize with how stressful big changes can be. Keep your family and friends close so you have someone to talk to during the transition.

Good luck and chin up! You're fantastic and brave :)

[kittikat]

kitticat,

Thank you for your kind words but I am actually going to plead with anyone to try and help me get out of this predicament.

We all have our faults and though I have never been an aggressive person I sometimes jump in at certain comments when maybe I should stand back and say nothing.

I retain a sense of humour which keeps me sane though it may not appeal to many but my intentions are always meant to be good and bring a smile to others even if it is only for a few minutes a day.

I was in two minds about opening up a thread about the points I raised but feel a little awkward in going into to much detail.

Ricardo,

You have the support here of many friends but it is a step you have to face alone as we all know. Start your thread and be comforted by the words of others. It may just help you through your predicament.

I am thinking of you. As an agoraphobia sufferer, I can empathise with the fears and uncertainty you feel. I hope so much that a few kind words from others will give you the strength you need.

Kitti :hugs: x

[JT69]

Hi Kitti

Just wanted to say you have acheived so much and come so far....just take things one step at a time and you will be fine...you are so much stronger then you think...that I promise you.:)

Take comfort in knowing you are not alone and have a lot of people who care about you...baby steps!!

Big hugs:hugs::hugs:

Jo.xx

[kittikat]

Aww, thank you Jo, that means so much to me. I hope you are doing ok hun :hugs:

Baby steps it is :winks: Take care, Kitti xxxx