Not sure I can do this any more **trigger**

[NumbForest]

For ten years I have battled with anxiety. every day has been a struggle. For the last 7 of those years I have battled for help and got very little. I have tried CBT-it didn't work for me, i have tried it four times. My last CBT therapist actually said "You are doing all the things you need to do but you are just not getting better" so clearly CBT doesn't work for me. I have seen a psychiatrist who basically spent their time trying to get me off their books and back to IAPT who will only refer me for CBT again. I had my third appointment with my psychiatrist last IAPT and discharge me from there. This sent me into a massive downward spiral because I can't keep spending every day in fear. Every day feeling like I am going to die. A few months ago I considered suicide and it never really left my head. Tonight I was ready to finally take the plunge and just take all my pills and be done with it. Unfortunately my friend rang me, and worked out something was going on, she knows how low i have been lately, she decided to come and take me to A&E because she realised in my voice that i probably weren't going to last the night. So I reluctantly went. I told them that I was going to neck all my pills but my friend stopped me and they said well it is good that you didn't do you, feel good about that. I even said that I have pills at home and fully intend on taking them. This did not seem to matter. As I am apparently not a risk to myself. The only reason I haven't necked them is my friend made me promise her I wouldn't and I know my friend will only feel guilt if I did do it tonight and I wouldn't want to do that. I just feel totally hopeless. I can't spend every day like this. I have't got it in me any more and it seems no one will take me seriously. I just don't feel I have the strength to keep on fighting. I feel done.

[Pigeon]

Hi there

I'm really sorry you feel so low and that nothing more can be done for you. I'm sure that people do take you seriously but have't found the right solution for you yet. You don't say what your home circumstanses are or what causes you to be anxious, so it's hard to give you suggestions to help.

All I can say is that no matter how low you feel, life is worth living and somewhere there will be an answer to your problem that is right for you and works. You obviously have a good friend. Could you ask her to support you next time you visit your GP? Sometimes it can be hard to explain what's been happening and she may be able to help you.

Please don't give up. Think of your friends on here and about the people who have recovered and try to take a little comfort from that and work from there - one small step at a time

Sending you lots of good wishes and hugs:hugs:

[Sparkle1984]

Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. :hugs: Please don't take an overdose. There is always hope, even though it may not seem like it right now. If your current medication isn't working I'd recommend you go back to your doctor for a review. There are dozens of different meds available for anxiety/depression so there's bound to be one that works for you, its just that you haven't found it yet. It's a shame that CBT hasn't worked for you. I have more coping tips in the link in my signature below.

Take care and stay in touch. We will always be here for you. :bighug: