End of my tether

[Pigeon]

Hi all

If you've seen my posts on here before, you'll know I have been suffering from depression/anxiety for a couple of months. Had health anxiety for years so obviously I am the anxious type.

But this is different. My anxiety is caused by a specific problem that I can't find a solution to. I made a mistake and don't know how to put it right. I can't find the right person to advise me but it and am going round in circles. Every time I think I have a solution, something goes wrong.
I don't want to talk about it on here but have spoke to samaritans several times and my counsellor as well as family members. All of them say I have got things out of proportion. But I can't stop obsessing about it and now have become really ill.
I have been off work for 8 weeks, can't motivate myself to do anyhting but sit on the sofa with my laptop looking for answers or just starring at the screen , I have lost a stone in weight through lack of appetite, I'm not looking after myself, socialising or or enjoying anything at all that I used to do. I have tablets for anxiety from GP but sure they're not working. Now I'm starting to show physical symptoms, my skin has become really spotty, like teenage acne (I'm 55!), I have a constant headache, feel nauseaus and shaky and weak. I am trying to follow all the advice given but finding it really hard to do things like take excercise, keep myself occupied and think positve. All I can see is doom and gloom ahead and that I'll lose everything I have either through the outcome of the problem or through my constant low mood and worrying. I can't see myself getting any better. I'm really at the end of my tether and need help. :weep::weep::weep:

[frosty2901]

I feel like this at the moment just when I think oh yes I have woke up without any symptoms they come back again Iam trying to battle this constant anxiety without and medication and sometime think yep it's getting a bit better then wham it comes back full force I was sleeping ok ish but the last 3 nights I've had about an hour a night because as soon as I lay down the anxiety symptoms get worse palpitations feeling sick and the constant buzzing vibrating in my chest then the niggley pains try to creep in left arm chest etc which trys to bring on a panic attack i keep hopeing that it is getting better each day but I don't know one of the worse things for me is not having any support face to face with anyone I know I have my husband but he doesn't realy understand what I'm going through I'm not hungry but feel that I need to eat and need to cook my husbands dinner for him and feel guilty that I should be doing more but realy don't want to face much

Keep strong frosty x

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Pigeon Im sorry that you are feeling like this. It does sound as if you are suffering from depression as well as anxiety. Part of depression are overwhelming and sometimes irrational feelings of guilt. I'm sure whatever you have done or think you have done it is really not too bad but because you are depressed the feelings are overwhelming. In order to begin to feel well again you must tell someone how you are feeling? Say sorry to yourself and acknowledge the 'mistake' and then if you have to make physical amends to someone do that and then try to move on. I know that it is a big step to take. If you were religious I would tell you to talk to your minister. I had something that I needed to get off my chest that was deeply troubling. I spoke to one of our prayer ministry team. She prayed with me and I have been able to move on. Even writing what is is on a piece of paper and then burning it in a controlled way will help you move on. Please go back to your GP if you think the tablets prescribed for you are not working? EJ

[Sunshine77]

Hi Pigeon, I'm so sorry to hear that things are so tough for you.

I agree with Elizabeth Jane, you must share this with someone. Perhaps someone not involved? I find that family can be too close, and of course the Samaritans are not allowed to give advice. Why not PM someone on this forum and get it all out? Or a minister, as EJ says. I am not sure if you've ever been to the Salvation Army but they are always happy to listen and advise, I have a friend who is a "captain" there.

All your physical symptoms are familiar to me; my skin has been dreadful and I have also lost a stone (although in my case it's a blessing) - since I have quit my job though I have started to feel and even look a little better. Perhaps getting rid of this dilemma of yours will help you to move forward?

I do hope you start to feel better soon and please PM me if you like :hugs:

[PinkRoxy]

Same here I am always here if you need to talk. I have heard that everyone is different for medication and its quite normal that there are people that don't respond at all to medication. I think in your case the medication you are on isn't right for you and you might need to try a different one. Also keeping updates with your doctor helps as to how you are feeling if there are any improvements or not or even if its making you feel worse that way they are able to help you as much as they can and try something new.

I know its hard and that feeling is normal I felt like that its not nice I know but it wont be like this trust me. How many different types of medication have you tried? My doctor suggested the citalopram as well as the seroquol which is for the anxiety if I feel like I really need it. One is an antidepressant as the other is an antianxiety.

It is not the end for you you just haven't found what works best for you yet. I know you will eventually and when you do you will feel heaps better. I am always keeping my doctor updated now and I feel like I have so much support from her that if I ever crash again then I know to go and talk to her.

Like I said I am always here for you to talk to aswell and I will try and help you as much as I can.

[Pigeon]

Thanks all for your replies and offers to talk more by pm. It's really appreciated
Pigeon
xxx