View Full Version : Needing advice for surviving being alone
My anxiety is mostly health related. But I'm not here to moan about my symptoms (of which they are many), it's to talk about a particular thing triggering me so badly that I can hardly stand it.
My comfort zone is being ripped apart for two weeks. I know, I'm 27, I should be able to be fine on my own, right? Not at all. My parents are leaving on a two week vacation and I'm a wreck. For the entire week my stomach has progressively gotten worse, to the point I am having problems eating (feeling full quickly/nausea). I'm obsessing about symptoms. I'm fretting something will happen while they're gone that I won't be able to deal with. I'm stressing something will happen and I won't be able to get help in time. It's just stress stress stress and I don't know how to calm down. What's worse is that the last time they were gone - only for a week - is when I had my major breakdown, which is also in the back of my head. I have nothing to occupy myself (I haven't been able to look for work because I've been put through a lot of tests these last two months - and still have one to go - to confirm an IBS diagnosis), which is probably the worst part about this.
I have some outlets. A best friend, who is willing to hang out with me. A sister too, but the sister thing is a little harder because I feel so embarrassed I can't deal with this myself still. It's been a year and it's the same fears, despite seeking help in therapy. Which, btw? I also stopped for two months during my round of testing, because I started feeling guilty about having to cancel appointments. I call this week and she's apparently out for who knows how long, her message doesn't say, but she hasn't gotten back to me.
I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Do you guys have any suggestions on how to survive these two weeks? I am honestly tempted to just sleep as much as humanly possible. :weep:
I hate the feeling. I struggle when alone too. I live with my fiance and in march he will be leaving on a work trip for two weeks, coming home for two days, then gone for another week so gone almost three weeks straight.
I have a hard time being alone. I find having a pet helps. Keeping people around like your friend is also good. Prepare before they leave and have lots of movies, books, etc to keep you occupied just in case. Try to stay busy if you can. I find that if I stay busy and get out of my apartment for a while, I feel a little better. Are you able to do that?
When are they going?
I live alone, and I agree with swgrl, have loads to keep you occupied. Books/films/games whatever, anything to stop your mind from having too much time to think. I find doing a lot of housework helps too, it's a nice busy distraction. Having a pet does help too, I have two cats, and without them I would feel super sad and alone :(. I'd feel a lot worse without them around.
Whilst I live alone, I can understand how you feel to some extent. My mum is the one person I rely on, that knows about all this and helps me deal with things. She lives just down the road, and is always there if I need her..And she's going on holiday with her partner soon for a week. The thought of her not being easily reachable, able to come to my house when I need her, is very very scary. I haven't vocalised it, because I need to deal with it. Once I have, it's another hurdle I have got over. It's the same for you, after you have done this, you might feel so much better. But do keep yourself occupied, that's the best thing you can do. Try go out with your best friend, being stuck alone in the house all the time won't be good. Try not to give yourself too much time to think.
I hope you get through it all okay, wishing you the best of luck! Take care.
I have a cat and dog, the cat especially is a big help to me and often sleeps with me at night (funny enough, she just jumped up while I was writing this and laid on my lap, the little goober). You are so right about them, they're great to have around for many reasons.
I'm trying to collect some things as you said to distract me. It's just sometimes my anxiety distracts me from my distracting things, LOL. I've been triggering myself a lot with my health OCD too (looking up things about my stomach issues, stupid stupid stupid since of course my IBS is heavily tied to anxiety and guess what makes me anxious!), which I'm going to put a stop to even though it's really hard not to seek out that reassurance. I'm going to try to get out more than I have lately, it seems like my entire life has been dedicated to making sure I just have IBS (scans to check for hernias, colonoscopy last week, endoscopy likely in the next two weeks to check for ulcers) for the last two months and it's made me withdraw a lot.
They're leaving on Sunday, since you asked. Sunday early morning. I have things like Netflix at least, and some TV shows I can watch that I've been meaning to get to. It's just the fun of remaining calm and trying not to let my anxieties get the best of me. I'm trying so hard to get my stomach under control before they leave but since my doctor is so sure it's IBS I doubt it's going to be 'perfect' since, again, stress is a huge trigger.
I hope you get through your own being alone time! If you ever need someone to talk to let me know. The one big difference between before and now is that I didn't have a site like this to talk to people.
---------- Post added at 09:45 ---------- Previous post was at 09:38 ----------
I live alone, and I agree with swgrl, have loads to keep you occupied. Books/films/games whatever, anything to stop your mind from having too much time to think. I find doing a lot of housework helps too, it's a nice busy distraction. Having a pet does help too, I have two cats, and without them I would feel super sad and alone :(. I'd feel a lot worse without them around.
Whilst I live alone, I can understand how you feel to some extent. My mum is the one person I rely on, that knows about all this and helps me deal with things. She lives just down the road, and is always there if I need her..And she's going on holiday with her partner soon for a week. The thought of her not being easily reachable, able to come to my house when I need her, is very very scary. I haven't vocalised it, because I need to deal with it. Once I have, it's another hurdle I have got over. It's the same for you, after you have done this, you might feel so much better. But do keep yourself occupied, that's the best thing you can do. Try go out with your best friend, being stuck alone in the house all the time won't be good. Try not to give yourself too much time to think.
I hope you get through it all okay, wishing you the best of luck! Take care.
That's how I'm trying to think about it. I know I do have places to go if it gets too bad (as I said, my sister's home is open to me, but I'd like to try to stay home as much as I can and only go because I want company, not because of my anxiety!), but I am going to try to use this as a learning experience to make myself deal with things. I mean logically I know I have the tools to survive, but it's easier when you have something to back you up too. :unsure:
I wish you a lot of luck in your own dealings with this. I know we'll all survive. :hugs:
That's great to not let the anxiety decide what you do, and to do things for you rather then it. I've never really thought about it in that way before, so thank you for that.
You sound like you're ready to tackle this, and I'm sure you will, and come out stronger for it :). Would like to hear how you get on, so please do let us know :).
That's great to not let the anxiety decide what you do, and to do things for you rather then it. I've never really thought about it in that way before, so thank you for that.
You sound like you're ready to tackle this, and I'm sure you will, and come out stronger for it :). Would like to hear how you get on, so please do let us know :).
I'm sure I'll be a little different during (it's easy to be brave when you're not facing it yet! LOL), but even if I manage to fight back the anxiety for a good portion of it I'm going to call it a win. Last time around I could barely stay home by myself like 85% of the time (again, this was the week I had my breakdown/descent back into really bad anxiety - I wasn't even on meds at the time). Baby steps. It's good to give yourself a goal, I think. And I'd much rather go hang out with my sister just to enjoy her company than because I'm a mess - I think she'd rather see that too. :emot-nod:
I'll probably be popping in a bit, maybe even making use of the chat when I'm allowed in. This has at least pushed me to go back into therapy, because I know I don't want to be like this forever.
Yeah, definitely use the chat room if you really are feeling anxious. There is usually somebody in there!
I know how you feel about preferring to see your sister just to enjoy it instead of needing an escape, but I think if you do it enough you won't even think about it as an escape but just something fun to do :) I like to go visit my baby nephew and did that yesterday ... his little smile always makes me calm down!!!
You can do it, you sound like you know your anxiety well and that is a great strength because you can predict how it will affect you and prepare to get through it!
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