I feel like such a horrible sister

[smileforawhile]

Hi all. I'm going through a bit of a low patch at the moment and just want to retreat into myself. I'm feeling really guilty because my sister is keen to visit this weekend with her hubby and baby and I just don't feel like seeing them. This sounds awful but at the minute the prospect of seeing her lovely family unit is just a reminder to me of all the things I feel are missing from my own life. As a thirty-something singleton, still living at home, it preys on my mind that life is passing me by to an extent and yet at other times I feel more than happy with my life. I would hate to offend them with my reclusive feelings but I don't think I feel up to putting on a happy and cheerful front for the day. I'm feeling anxious at the thought of saying yes to a visit and at the thought of saying no! I love my family dearly but feel ashamed to admit I don't want to see them right now. Has anyone else felt like this?

[Mystic Sea]

Yes I feel like this all the time but not because it reminds me of what I'm missing but more that I might feel anxious when I'm with them and look weird or something. It was my grandads birthday yesterday and I didn't go to see him because I knew that a lot of my family would be there. It upsets me to think what they think of me not seeing them but it feels impossible to do so.

[Col]

Yes I feel like this all the time but not because it reminds me of what I'm missing but more that I might feel anxious when I'm with them and look weird or something. It was my grandads birthday yesterday and I didn't go to see him because I knew that a lot of my family would be there. It upsets me to think what they think of me not seeing them but it feels impossible to do so.

I'm very similar and always think I'm seen as letting people down and also feel resentful that I can't just simply go out without GAD plaguing me.

Hi smile for a while don't feel guilty because you can tell from your thread that your so conscientious and good person, when you feel like this its difficult. Do what you really need to do, you can always see them another time x

[Mystic Sea]

Hi Col

Yeah its a total nightmare. I kinda want to tell everyone that I have it but I've been advised not to as some people might think i'm nuts or something.

whats GAD btw?

[smileforawhile]

Thanks for your comments. I know I'm just going to end up dwelling on it and feeling guilty all weekend if I don't see them so I'm going to have to just get on with it. I really do need to address my low feelings about the state of my life, but thinking logically, everything always seems so much more gloomy when I'm feeling under the weather and I know that when my mood lifts I'll have a more positive attitude and feel more sisterly! I should try to be a good auntie and take some comfort from having that role.

[Mystic Sea]

Do you feel anxious when you see them smileforawhile? Like a social anxiety?

[smileforawhile]

I don't feel anxious about being in their company. They know I suffer from anxiety and are always supportive of how I'm feeling eg anxieties about eating out in unfamiliar places etc. They don't however know that I sometimes feel a bit down about aspects of my life which I wish were different and which they have eg happily married and gorgeous baby. I need to try and snap out of my low mood and start appreciating the positives in my life. Sometimes easier said than done. x

[Mystic Sea]

Yeah it is easier said than done. I'm exactly the same and wish i could have that.....married with children....if only. Trouble with me is its so hard finding someone who will cope with me. I'm absolutely fine as a person but I do get so anxious in socail situations. I have to have a couple of glasses of wine when i see my parents.....tis a nightmare. Its not that I get anxious with them....more the fact that a relative might come in. Bizarre I know.

[Col]

Hi Col

Yeah its a total nightmare. I kinda want to tell everyone that I have it but I've been advised not to as some people might think i'm nuts or something.

whats GAD btw?

Hi Mystic Sea, GAD is general anxiety disorder, whoever said you shouldn't tell people as they might think your 'nuts' NEEDS shooting.

[Mystic Sea]

I know what you mean but I think from past experiences you do come accross people who view it as being mentally ill. I wish it was a perfect world where people would underdtand but unfortunately some don't. I feel like I'm in such a catch 22 situation.......feel so desperate sometimes like today.....I feel so anxious. I feel like just getting into bed and pulling the covers over me to hide me from the world.

[Col]

Ahhhh mystic sea I'm the same today. Had headache all night feel virusey, just sick of anxiety and feel ill, I felt like coming home to bed. Feel bit better now I've eaten something!

You take care X

Ps - I know what u mean about people's views about mental Heath BUT, for someone to suggest not saying anything, is not right! We sufferers know what some think, we don't need reminding!

[Mystic Sea]

Hi Col

Yeah I know.

Am feeling better now. I didn't want to mention earlier but I was feeling anxious today because i was going to see my grandad with my mum. I was so scared as always that I was going to bump into someone I know. Anyway its all over now and so glad to be back at home and safe. I wish people would realise what I have to go through when I do this......feel so mentally drained now.....think I might have a sleep as it normally refreshes my mind.

[Col]

Ahh good though you managed it , good on you. You deserve a rest x