Help, relapse :-(

[Laramacbain]

Well I haven't posted on here for the best part of a year- a year ago I had a huge anxiety breakdown and quit a new job after the first day, but I built myself back up and have had a great year.

I started a new job in September at a school as a cover teacher and within a couple of months they wanted to get me qualified as a teacher, then a month ago asked me to take over a class as an unqualified teacher,

I was thrilled, so Monday came and I took over my class, by Wednesday I was having panic attacks and fell apart, I have slept about 5 hours this week, my head teacher sent me home yesterday and I've been signed off by the doctor for a week.

I did not mention that I am getting married next Saturday- why oh why did I agree to the teaching. Hindsight is a wonderful thing hey. I have until 2 weeks until I go back to school (as I have my honeymoon as well as the week I've been signed off) and my head teacher still wants me to carry on with the class teaching, as I cannot go back to the cover teacher role- my position has been filled. So all these thoughts are going through my head, I'm filled with dread, fear and fright and who knows what to do.

Not even looking forward to my wedding and right now feel like I don't want to go back to school, even though it's been the best job I've ever had, I've been so happy the last 6 months and absolutely love working there, but now taken on this new role and everyone says I'll be a fantastic teacher, etc, but I just don't think I can handle it. If I leave these school I wouldn't want to get another job in a different school as I love this one and I really need/want to work!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah :-(

[annadavid]

hey congrats on the wedding im sure it will be a lovely day im also going to a wedding on the saturday when your getting married so ill be wishing you luck to!
obviously there is times in life when things just get extremely stressfull so i think you haveing this 2 week break will give you a chance to get your stuff together relax and get sorted, you just gota try stay calm an remmeber being a teacher is amazing cause you are helping others by giving what you have to offer ! so like you said dont leave that school try your best you will need the occasional break and when your at work just think of when you will get home at night to your husband !try stay positive you got a wedding! thats every girls dream!!! sorry im not much help just wanted you to know people are here for you :) xx

[starlight78]

Hi Lara,

I got married at the end of last year, changed jobs and moved just prior to it.. The build up to the wedding sparked a huge anxiety relapse in me, but I have to say I've got better and better since the honeymoon and a rest!

It sounds like you need a good rest as well, you're probably exhausted! Focus on your wedding and honeymoon. If you aren't ready for work when you get back then you can be signed off for longer.
You and your partner are what matters. A job is not work being unhappy for. X

---------- Post added at 09:36 ---------- Previous post was at 09:32 ----------

Ooh and give Claire Weekes book 'hope and help for your nerves' a read, or you can download off of iTunes. Really helped me realise that I had exhausted my nerves for want of a better expression. I've accepted that after stressing myself out so much for many many months it will take a while for my nerves to become desensitised again. So I'm trying to accept it and let time pass. Looking after myself with walking, good food and lots of meditation/relaxation as well.

[Laramacbain]

Thank you so much for both of your replies, it's lovely to know there are such positive and genuine people in the world who want to help, thank you xxx

[annadavid]

always here if you need a chat!!xxx

[Laramacbain]

thank you xxx

---------- Post added at 12:45 ---------- Previous post was at 12:43 ----------

http://lifeoftranquility.blogspot.co.uk/

I have started a blog, hopefully to help others and do something productive with the way I'm feeling, please take a look and feel free to leave a comment :-)

[oh no_1]

congrats on the wedding etc.
i am/was a teacher and it is one of the hardest jobs ever so u doing fab. im an NQT and just had to resign from it due to ill health in order to save my NQT if that makes sense as i had over the 30 days off, i love working with chilodren and love teaching so im very very upset about it.