help me help myself, pleeaasseee!!!!!!!!

[tarn]

I've come a long way in a short space of time considering how I felt yesterday, and 20 years before. I eventualy have told my partner I need to open up and be completely truthful and down to the bone with how things are and how my head has/is been. I want to do this but feel thier are so many things in my life I just do not remember, I do have memory loss, I know its happened, know I'm not making any sense when saying this and don't want to make things up. I want to be upfront but I feel like some kind of idiot not knowing my own past. How can I progress this without making her feel she is taking any of my own burdon. Its driving me nuts. I've wanted to do this for so long and now I don't even know myself. I'm affraid she will see thier is no change in me and I'm not making that effort. I've confronted my fears and faced it, now I'm confronted with another. What the F))))k is going on, let me breathe please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

[redbaron]

Hello mate,

you aren't alone in this, having to go through the whole self-analysis and help whilst within a relationship has upsides as well as downsides.

You've got this far and you seem an honest person, you have to carry that thru' all the way and that includes your partner, there's no point trying to be half-hearted with it. It may break the relationship it may make it stronger you won't know but you must try. Trust yourself that if she is right for you then she must understand what you are going through and support you in your endeavours.

It often seems that we are not projecting an aura of change to the outside world but that is of secondary importance, it is often our reliance on how the world sees us that gets us in this mess in the first place.

As regards the memory loss, do you keep a diary or a blog or such like? Use somewhere like that to jot down what you know, and keep doing it, also take photos of things as an aide memoire. You may find that one memory can lead to another.

You don't only have one fear there are many, you have to break them down and fight them one at a time if you can.

Good luck, there are many here who can and will help you when you feel alone.

Dom

If what doesn't kill us makes us stronger it's a pretty fair bet it's going to hurt.

[nomorepanic]

Woah

Give us more than 9 minutes to reply ok!

What are you asking us?



Nicola

[loobyloo]

Hey tarn,

As promised I replied :D I told you i dont break my promises. Hope you are ok now hun and If you ever need an ear I, along with everyone else here will always listen (or instead read :D)

Take care,

Fi xx

[loobyloo]

No probs :D

[Granny Primark]

Hi tarn,

Stop worrying about what people think of you for a start.
Think about the positive things about yourself.
As regards your memory loss we all have that, and im sure its just connected with our stress and anxiety.
My father started with alzeimers in his early 50s by the age of 62 he couldnt remember even being married to my mum who had died 2 years previously.
This memory thing really bugs me cus of what happened to my dad. I have to constantly keep reassuring myself that just cus it happened to my dad it doesnt necessarily mean its going happen to me.
Stop the guilt feelings (easier said than done i know) and share your feelings and worries with your partner im sure she would rather you do that than let all these worries eat away at you.

I really hope you begin to feel better soon and never forget that there are many people on this site who will always be willing to give you help, friendship and support.

Take care
LYNN xx

[Meg]

Tarn,

It is a really scary thing to admit to oneself that our memories are not good and there may be gaps in what we remember, never mind admitting it to others whos respinse is unpredictable.

If you are having acute anxiety and panic and have been stressed out for a long time, then it is very common to feel like your memory is bad whereas in rteality its not but just feels like it.

There were time when I was acute that not only could I not string together a sentence but also forgot all sorts of fundemental things but it was temporary and resolved as I got better.

If it is another sort of memory loss you can get assessed for this at your doctors who can then advise and help you.

Often as we start to recover it seems that other illnesses are creeping in and take over but often its just that we haven't been well enough to realize what is going on when we are take up competely by panic.

Your partner may have a good handl eon where you are anyway if they've been around throughout so far and no reason to believe they will walk away now.

Good luck



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

[Eclipse]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
As regards the memory loss, do you keep a diary or a blog or such like? Use somewhere like that to jot down what you know, and keep doing it, also take photos of things as an aide memoire. You may find that one memory can lead to another.

Dom

If what doesn't kill us makes us stronger it's a pretty fair bet it's going to hurt.

<div align="right">Originally posted by redbaron - 09 September 2006 : 23:26:52</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Great tip Dom!

Good luck Tarn & let us know how you're getting on.

Best Wishes

Magz