Do you ever feel guilty?

[xgraceex]

I am asking this because lately I feel guilty to call myself an agoraphobic, as I have been well for a while now. I was not able to leave my house for 3 years (age 13-16) or even answer the door, I would hide behind the sofa and only leave the house (by force) every two months by my dad, who would take me for a short drive and fresh air. Since then I have been to college, I have a lovely boyfriend and I am able to leave my home a few times a week, in company, and I rarely panic now. I feel so guilty because I have met people on here who are ten times worse than me, and one person even said I did not belong here as I wasn't as ill as I used to be :( I still struggle with depression and leaving my home alone, but it is playing on my mind on what they said. Am i still allowed to post here and chat to people here even if I am almost well again? Am I right to class myself as agoraphobic when I can leave the house with someone holding my hand? Perhaps I am being a little sensitive :( just thought I would ask opinions, hoping someone can help. Gracie

[jefferina]

I personally think your story is inspiring and cant see why you cant post on here. I love to read a sucess story it gives me hope that I too can overcome this :)

[Tessar]

Gracie, I have struggled with guilt over many different things but one thing I have learned is, regardless of how bad other people may seem in comparison to you, you are still suffering. There is no hard and fast way of comparing one person's situation and suffering compared to another. The point is that you have had issues and these issues continue. It wouldnt matter if say you were 98% better; still post because your posts will be useful to people who are maybe only 2% well. To hear success stories or just that other people feel the same or similar to them will make a huge difference to someone (just like no doubt hearing other people's stories here has helped you). Make sure you keep posting and also regarding guilt generally; it can be a very powerful and a times destructive emotion. I'm telling you that 100% you do not need (or i am sure want) to feel guilty for the problems you experience. It is just the way things are and you never need apologise or feel guilty. I mean, someone with a headache isnt going to apologise. Or someone who gets a sudden illness like appendicitis. They wouldnt apologise, it would be "one of those thigns". people who fall ill with mental illnesses dont mean to, it happens. Same has happened with me.
I have been sitting here the last few days wondering why the hell i dont just snap out of my depression. I am trying hard to get better but you cant just snap your fingers and hey presto all is well again. It takes time and effort and from what i can gather, you apply both of those to your own situation. I congratulate you for that and look forward to reading other posts of yours in the future.
By the way, have you tried anything like CBT to help you as it wasn an invaluable resource to me.

[BobbyDog]

No one has the right to tell you not to post on this site anymore. I agree with everyone else who has commented on this thread. Success stories are are inspiring to the majority of people who are struggling with acute depression/anxiety. All of us here are trying to get better, looking for ways to help ourselves. I originally found NMP because I was looking for ways to challenge and overcome my anxiety.

Please keep us updated with any stories you have.

[xtremx]

I am asking this because lately I feel guilty to call myself an agoraphobic, as I have been well for a while now

I have asked myself this same question in the last few days.. I was unable to leave my months on end and when I did I would get Panic Attacks and weird sensations.. But things have calmed down a lot and I'm able to leave my house as long I have a game plan of what I have to do...

But that all change a week ago.. I was able to do everthing I used to thanks to the help of a fello NMP member but the Guilt I have felt is unbearable and I have told the person that (for god sake I was talking to this person and I was out with and they were in thier house living in the same four walls) I felt like I had betrayed them as they were not able to do the same.:weep:

I must admit I have had time like this before and after a few weeks my world has tumbled down on me again but this time it was different.. I was able to take my little girl to school for the first time in many months with out freaking out and I also picked her up from school once....I even went into my local pub and behaved like I had never had a problem...I felt so bad about it though.

Any way saturday anxiety got its revenage on me only slightly but it raised it ugly head and gave me a panic attack.

But yes I do feel guilt to be called agoraphobic...... and this person will read this and tell me off. So will many others for feeling this way.

So your post is a good one as it tells us that we can feel better and not feel bad for doing it:winks:

[Daisy Sue]

To answer the title question, yes I feel guilty every single day of my life.. not just because of anxiety, but my health in general - what it has made everyone else in my life suffer, and miss out on.. but it's one of those things which is out of my control, so I put up with it, carry on, & try to make the best of the good days.

Grace, whoever said you don't belong here, had a downright cheek if you ask me. This forum is for anyone who's affected by anxiety & related conditions... you don't stop being a 'suitable member' just because you're on the way to recovery, or you're going through a good patch right now. Not only is your progress an inspiration to others, you also have the experience to advise & support other people who are presently suffering as you were..

[Edie]

Gracie, you've overcome a lot, but you are still struggling a huge amount and deserve all the support you can get with continuing your recovery.

I'm sorry that someone has said you do not belong here due to your improvement. It wasn't a nice thing for someone to say in the first place, but when we have depression we can take things even more personally than they are intended. But I think you have every right to seek and offer support here for as long as it's helpful to you.

[blondinou]

Everyone should be able to post on here no matter what their level of anxiety/phobias/etc. It's all about how it affects each of us as individuals - no-one is more worthy of support than someone else. Try not to compare yourself to others cos that doesn't matter :-) I sometimes compare myself to people who don't have our problems and think why can't I just be normal and think nothing of going out to a busy shopping centre, why do I have to be nervous about it when other people can just do it without a care in the world. It sounds like you're doing really well and should be proud. I come on here sometimes even when I'm feeling fine so don't worry one bit about it.

[Col]

Gracie from what you've described you should be proud of yourself and share your knowledge and tips with others. You have gone from severely agrophobic to getting there 'normal'! You have every reason to be on this site and share your experience.

:winks:

[lizzie29]

Sorry, this doesn't answer your question but - i just had a look at the blog listed in your signature and saw about your jewellery website. I've had a look and it's AMAZING!!! Seriously, do you make all that stuff? There's loads! And it all looks so good, as does your website - very professional! I'm off to order an anchor bracelet as we speak. Hope the businessperson going well for you :-)

[Sunshine77]

Gracie if nobody posted stories of recovery on here then it wouldn't be half the site it is.... when I first had my breakdown I spent ages reading success stories and they gave me so much hope! Don't stop posting :)

I too feel guilty when I read posts by people who are worse off than me. But it also helps me to try and help them as it takes me out of my own self-absorbed head. I feel guilty about other stuff too - the fact that I'm not working, the impact this is all having on my husband.... but that's my lack of self-acceptance rearing its head i think.

Do stick around, you've come such a long way but it sounds as though you still need this forum and we need you too :hugs:

---------- Post added at 09:20 ---------- Previous post was at 09:16 ----------

PS I have just looked at your blog and your jewellery, you are a talented lady and I loved reading some of your experiences too!

[xgraceex]

Thank you for all these answers, they have made me feel so much better! I guess i just had a sad moment where I thought I didnt belong :( I have good days and bad days like everyone else I guess, I just feel glad that most of you here are really kind :) and lizzie29 thank you for the compliment on my shop! It means a lot :D xx