worried mum

[Laz Commo]

Hi

I am a worried mum of a depressed\anxious 18 year old daughter and I need some tips on how best to look after hand and still hold down a full time job.

I have already taken 4 weeks off to be with her but cant keep having time off and it doesn't look like its going to ease any time soon. 6-8 weeks for psycotherapy appointment.

Hellllllppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!

[clio51]

Can you not go on sick yourself? Or is that what the 4 weeks were?
Your doc would give you sick note to cover you and then you can spend time with your daughter. As she been given any meds?

[LauraJF]

Have you bought her a Dr. Claire Weekes book? I remember having a difficult time when I was 18 and my mother brought me to a psychologist that recommended Claire Weekes and we went right to the bookstore after the appointment. I felt better after I read the first few sentences of Peace From Nervous Suffering.

[Laz Commo]

Clio51 I have already had two weeks sick and 2 weeks holiday. They're just not having it any more. Although they have said I could work part time in the office and also take work home if it helps. I think I will do that but it means I wont be here 24/7 which makes her panic. She started on citalopram 20mg but the gp stopped it because of side effects. She did have some Zopiclone for sleeping but they have all gone now.

LauraJF Thanks - I will search for the book you're suggesting but my daughter does not want to make any effort to help herself at all. She wants to be made better by someone else!

[clio51]

Hi

I to was looking for that magic person to put me right. After weeks I realized there's no such person.
Perhaps now she needs a stiff talking to and tell her only she can get herself better with the help of yourself and doctors and med. You have stayed with her for 4weeks and she as proberly got used to your being around her,so now she's freaking out being alone which is hard I know I've been there and I'm a damn site older.
If she can get her head round you will only be say 5 hour at work,so maybe she could watch tv,Facebook and time will pass quick and you HAVE to go to work for money she won't like it one bit but you have no choice.

20mg is quite high to start off on, she should maybe of started on say 5mg for say week if not much improvement then 10mg for few weeks. When I was on it I started at 10mg
No wonder she was like that,she would of had heightened anxiety more.
Maybe start again low dose or go back to doctor with her and explain what she is like make a double appointment so you have more time and don't feel rushed.

Take care. X

[LauraJF]

It sounds like your daughter doesn't have confidence right now but if you start out at part time the experience of being alone for just a few hours will hopefully help her to feel more comfortable in the beginning and she can get on a routine that way. I hope she has someone she can call like a neighbor or a friend or maybe she can post in this forum to help her to feel less alone.



LauraJF Thanks - I will search for the book you're suggesting but my daughter does not want to make any effort to help herself at all. She wants to be made better by someone else![/QUOTE]

[JaneC]

Laz, trying citalopram again on a lower starting dose is a decent shout from Clio, as long as the side effects didn't involve suicidal thoughts - you have to be careful with young people and SSRIs. That said, there are also other ADs that might be worth looking at.

Your daughter will eventually have to realise that she will have to help herself but perhaps she is not in a position to do that at the moment. IMO, you need to be supportive but firm with her. If you have to go to work, you have to go to work. I put my mum through some very tough times when I had anorexia when not much older than your daughter but we got there in the end.

Could you afford to get her some private help while she waits for the NHS sessions? I know this might not be possible. If things are really bad, go back to the doc and ask if she can be seen urgently. Just a few weeks ago, our adolescent mental health service dismissively sent my 16-year-old packing, saying she didn't need help. One strongly worded letter and a meeting with the team leader later and they have now agreed to see her. You might also find this website useful: http://www.youngminds.org.uk/

[Laz Commo]

Thanks for all the helpful replies.

The reason she was put on the citalopram was because she wanted to kill herself. So it doesn't really add up.

I went back to work this week. I was quite firm about it and now my daughter has disappeared off to her boyfriends house. She says she doesn't want to be here anymore because we don't care. I don't even know if she is coming home at all. Its all very worrying!