View Full Version : Gonna face the fear (of flying) and on my own
So I have committed myself (well almost) to doing 2 flights in a day for work (appx 30 mins each way on a quite small plane- small to me about 80 seats). This will be in a week or two.
I need something scary to focus on to stop me thinking too much about the past & this would be right at the top of my fear scale. It would push me to the limit of my endurance as it encompasses several fears:
-Well, flying for starters; the sensation of flying (which I hate) & fear of getting airsick (or that happening to anyone else as I'm a big time emetophobe).
-I've never flown alone, let alone got myself to an airport alone or done any of the thigns I'd need to like check in etc.
-At the other end I'd have to find the other office.... I know that's nothing in the scheme of things but it all adds to the fear as I'd have to get a taxi as well. Again I've been in taxis before of course but not on my own.
-Then I have to make sure there's a taxi to take me back to the airport later.
- at some point I'll need to eat (no big deal I know but it is if you're scared of getting airsick believe me!).
This really will be a scary day but I know that part of the process of moving on is to challenge myself in the present. I'm way too focused in the past & need something to focus me back in the present. I anticipate crying all the way there & back but so what if that happens (at the least I'll probably just freak some other poor sole on the flight!).
What's important is I could go with a colleague but I'd rather face it alone. I dont want to cry infront of them & look stupid. So I'll be doing it for me and no-one else.
I might even enjoy a day's freedom once a week & there's the option of doing it each week but not sure my ears could take that many flights as I perforated my ear drum years ago & it hurts when I fly (I mean so much I'm in agony so I'd have to be careful).
Oh well, just had to share my fear as I am making this a reality now. I've worked here 2 yrs & put it off but I think the time is right. I told my colleague this morning & felt like I wanted to cry.
Another one of my colleagues is always winding me up about doing this but I want her to butt out. She'd better or I'll probably end up telling her to get lost (& being scared means I wont be polite abou it either!).
That's it, best be off and get on with my work, but since this was work related I dont think they'd mind me getting it off my chest while I'm at work!
Very well done Tessar. A big brave step but I'm sure you'll reap the benefits. Very best of luck! x
Well done Tessar ... very very brave of you for trying to conquer not just one fear at a time, but quite a few! We'll all be sending you extremely positive vibes .. but am sure you'll do well! Big hugs!! xxx
its looking like weds 20th.... i think the best thing is i get the flights booked asap and then forget about it til then!!!!! At least that way I know where I am at. I've even told my counsellor now so looks like I wont be backing out.............
Well done Tessar..you can do it, you are stronger than you think. To get to where we are now we have had to be strong. Really pleased you have decided to do this :) :yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo::yahoo:: yahoo::yahoo::yahoo:
thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel rather nervous about it; just need to get on with some work instead of thinking about it now. when i get nervous etc i want to stuff my face. but now i'm full. oh, will have to wait a bit. someone just went & bought a big choc cake for the office. ooh, i feel a coffee coming on later with a nice slice of cakE!!!
I have some birthday cake left if you want some?
yay send it over.......yum yum.
Sunshine77
06-03-13, 20:22
Wow Tessar, that's really brave and strong of you! You will be just fine. Sure the first time you do it you'll be anxious but think how proud you'll feel when you get home! And then each time after that should get easier as it isn't the first.
Hope you enjoyed your cake :D xx
Sparkle1984
06-03-13, 21:38
Well done, it's very brave of you to face your fears. I'm sure you'll be fine, good luck! :D
Thank you! For the support people's and for the cake Annie. It was delicious. Ha ha ha. I do feel like OMG what am I letting myself in for but then lots of people in here do scary things every day. So I will be just like everyone else and I know u will all be with me up there in the air! It'll be a packed flight won't it, do you think with millions of NMP supporters in my hand luggage that the plane will get off the ground?
Sunshine77
07-03-13, 08:26
do you think with millions of NMP supporters in my hand luggage that the plane will get off the ground?
NMP gives you wiiiiiiiiiings :D
NMP gives you wiiiiiiiiiings :D
excellent. does that mean I could fly round the world for free?
oh, i dont think it will be til the week after now as someone else is making the trip when I'd planned to. still, it will come.
Wow, go you! Did you manage to do it? HOw did it go?
hello lilharry, it got put off til probably the week after next.... but I am going to do it as i have made sure my colleague who arranges when we go, knows i want to do it next. i havent thought much about exactly what it entails as its better not to but i am definitely going to do it... thanks for asking :-)
Tessar,
Hope the flying on your own does not play on your mind for the waiting.
Good Luck anyway:hugs:
thanks magic, i should be ok as i did learn in cbt to focus away from things i'm going to be doing. i have stuff i'm dealing with in counselling at the mo (& trying to be more assertive as well) so i think these things are going to keep me distracted. and everyone here will keep my mind busy for me with their posts generally! having said that a day or two before i'll be getting just a teeny weeny bit SCARED i expect! we'll see, you never know i may find i'm really calm (ha ha).
almamatters
20-03-13, 17:38
You are seriously brave Tessar!! Well done :hugs:x
Ooooh, I thought this might happen this week but I'm not sure it will now. If it isnt this week, I hope its next. I dont want to have to keep waiting. I emailed my colleague who organises the visits to remind him I want to go..... (want??? er no, am making myself go!!). Anyway, all I did was send am email but that was like arrrgghhhhhhh. Still, I feel committed to doing it now. I am going to get on that plane on my own. I am. So there.
So proud of you! :hugs:You are going to do a great job. :winks:
Granny Primark
02-04-13, 13:12
Trust me there was no one more frightened of going on a plane than me.
The first time was to ibiza so called friends of mine were taking bets I couldnt do it.
I went on and couldnt wait for the holiday to end so I could go on the plane again.:D
You wont be on your own there is air stewards and stewardeses and passengers that will give you support.:hugs::hugs::hugs:
Thanks peoples, its nice to know that you've got backup! Either here or on the plane. I would probably just sit there scared as hell but not say anything. Story of my life hiding my emotions. But I am determined I will cope.
GP: when I flew for the first time (to USA) my friends expected me to run away at the airport but I didnt. Once I make my mind up to do things I will do them!!
I now know it will be the week after next.... It would have been next week if my colleague hadnt jumped in & booked himself instead.
What I'm hoping is that it works out ok & I enjoy it, then I could do it every couple of weeks if I wanted. Will have to see how it goes! Meanwhile I seem able not to think about it.
That's something I have learned, not to spend hours, days, weeks worrying about things that might never happen. No point!! It'll come when the time is right.
I will send lots of little friends to help you on the way..they are desperate to fly :):):):):):D:D:D:D:D:shades::shades::shades::shade s::shades::emot-dance::emot-dance::emot-dance::emot-dance::emot-dance::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
They are all happy friends :D
:scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10: :scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10: :scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10:
Cheers Annie, this is probably wot I will look like.....
:scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10: :scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10: :scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10::scared10:
But on the way back you will be :yesyes::yahoo::yesyes::yahoo::yesyes::yahoo::yesy es::yahoo::yesyes::yahoo::yesyes::yahoo::yesyes::y ahoo::yesyes::yahoo:
Generally speaking, once we land I feel quite elated. I actually i find take off and landing really enthralling, it's once you are up there I get rather edgy, Especially long flights. I don't like it when you are climbing, let alone zooming along the runway. I can remember on a 747 flying out of Singapore I was getting scared as it took so long to get off the ground. I try not to think specifics when it comes to what is actually happening. I've had turbulent flights too so I have experienced fear. I'm going to do it regardless. The sense of achievement will be something else especially as I will be doing it on my own (as in getting there, checking in etc, I haven't done that on my own before). I know on the plane there are people around. I think I am going to stop thinking about it now but in 2weeks it's gonna be full on!!!!!
I am okay once we are up in the air, it is the take off and landing that I hate. I grab hold off hubby's thumb when we land and use it like a throttle to pull back and stop the plane :roflmao: One of these days I will break it. He is so patient bless him :D When my oldest son is with us he gets sick of me asking questions because he did his degree in aerospace engineering. Every time the noise of the engines change or any other noises he has to explain to me what is happening :ohmy:
Good luck Tessar. I hope it goes well for you!!!
Your braver than I am!! lol
I am okay once we are up in the air, it is the take off and landing that I hate. I grab hold off hubby's thumb when we land and use it like a throttle to pull back and stop the plane :roflmao: One of these days I will break it. He is so patient bless him :D When my oldest son is with us he gets sick of me asking questions because he did his degree in aerospace engineering. Every time the noise of the engines change or any other noises he has to explain to me what is happening :ohmy:
I don't like it when the engines change note, goodness knows what I'll be like on my own but then with no-one to get worried with, perhaps instead I can comfort myself.
Everyone's brave, Peter...INCLUDING YOU!!!
Just remember that my son said all the changes in noises are for a good reason (and I won't tell you what I am thinking on that one!)
.... and again, still no idea when this will be, prob week after next... but getting rather fed up with them putting it off. good job I havent been worrying about it or I'd be ridiculously anxious by now.
Please everybody ........fingers crossed for good weather on Thurs 2nd May because that's when I am most likely doing these flights. I am feeling a little apprehensive right now but that's only because it seems more real. I'm going to forget about it til the day comes (other than making sure I know where I'm going, where to park & get the taxi at the other end etc but my colleagues who do this trip regularly can advise me on all that!!!).
That is the same day as my next physio so you can think of me being tortured to take your mind of the flight. You are going to be just fine :D I am excited for you :D
I will be thinking of you on that day Tessar.
feel the fear --and do it anyway.
All the best :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Ok Annie.... You're on.
Thanku Magic.... It is a case of facing the fear. Throughout my life I have only done scary things with other people. This time I decided I'd like to achieve it for myself, to go it alone. Actually I'm more concerned about the actual getting to the airport, parking, checking in etc than actually being on the plane. I can cope with the flight I am sure.
It's also the responsibility I'll have in taking a load of documents with me (important ones) & finding my way there to an office I've never been to...... Plus, sounds ridiculous I know, but I'llhave to get a taxi at the other end & I've never done that on my own either.
So it will be so full on either side of the flights I don't think I'll have time to get too worried.
I typed this lot and thought oh no what have I let myself in for, but the thing is I want to do it. And I will.
When I was about 20 which was many, many, many years ago I went to America on my own. I was going to stay with friends in Utah and had to change flights in Seattle. I missed my connecting flight and had to spend the night alone in Seattle (reminds me of Sleepless in Seattle :D ) I was fine then..no panic at all, totally chilled! If it happened now I would need a box of Diazepam! :scared15:
only a BOX, Annie???? I was thinking more like a shed-load?
Granny Primark
19-04-13, 14:23
Il be thinking about you on that day tessar
I was once coming back from an holiday in Turkey. It was a night flight and most of the passengers were asleep including my daughter and hubby. I thought id seen a flash of lightening and must have looked scared. The man the other side of the isle must have noticed and asked me if I was ok to which I just shook my head. He then grabbed old of my hand and held until I looked calmed. He was a good looking man and trust me it was the best flight ive ever had!:yesyes:
Lynn, that made me laugh. I hope I don't see lightning as I'm scared of it. I can just imagine me screaming.... But I hope not as the intention is to relax (yeah right). I've been on (& survived) bumpy flights, hard jelly les when I got off. I will take my camera & occupy myself looking out of the window (don't know why but I like to be able to see what is going on). Despite being scared, it is also exhilarating... Thats how I am looking at it for the time being.....
It is definitely 2nd may and the flights will be booked this afternoon..... eeeeek
---------- Post added at 15:36 ---------- Previous post was at 15:07 ----------
It's booked; look to the skies at 8.30 a.m. on 2nd May - if you see a little FlyBe plane - that'll be meeeeeeeeee
Only 2 sleeps to go and then the "big day" will be upon me.
Someone remind me please...... WHY DO WE PUT OURSELVES THROUGH THESE THINGS?
I have been delving into my mind to retrieve the sorts of things I would say to other people who are facing something scary they are about to do.
Until,the last couple of days I haven't thought about it much but I have started finding out simple things like what time to be at the airport, where to park, where I get the taxi from at the other end (I've never got in a taxi on my own before either).
It doesn't seem real, well actually ,it hasn't seemed real til now.but it is!!!!!
So proud of you Tessar, can't wait to hear how it went, best of luck to you. I know you are going to do a great job. You are so ready for this. :hugs:
Anxious_gal
01-05-13, 04:28
I remember the first flight I did with my friend (no family). I was soo nervous but really wanted to do it as well.
Now when the doors closed on the plane, my panic shot up BUT it soon went down.
if you feel nervous, the flight attendants are soo lovely and very used to dealing with nervous fliers.
Anytime I felt a bit anxious I'd just look up at the flight attendant and she'd give me a reassuring smile :-) It made a world of difference.
Well done for booking the flights : )
i feel like a bit of a fraud because i have flown to NZ and the USA but this is entirely different. i havent flown now for about 2 yrs & also have not done it alone before. someone in work made the same suggestion about mentioning to the flight attendants that i'm nevous. I'm taking my camera as a distration. At the moment the forecast is very good and the planes are flying out across where i live (i'm going from the local airport). i'm hoping to get an aerial pic of home.....
My colleagues are all being really nice. Because I was teased & bullied as a child, I was worried my colleagues would take the mick, but they have been ok. its just i have trouble separating past fears which creep into the present & that results in me feeling less convident & even paranoid about what people might do sometimes. I cant handle people laughing at me when I am feeling vulnerable but they havent done that so it's been a relief. quite the opposite has happened in fact because they know how scared i am and actually they all seem to be treating me like i'm brave. phew. actually perhaps i am!!!
i really hope i like doing it because i could do it about every three weeks if i wanted. it gets me out of the office for a day. we'll see.....
---------- Post added at 13:50 ---------- Previous post was at 13:49 ----------
So proud of you Tessar, can't wait to hear how it went, best of luck to you. I know you are going to do a great job. You are so ready for this. :hugs:
i know you are right...........that's what i keep telling myself. i am doing this for ME. it is going to make me feel much better about myself - i hope. that if i can do this then so much more will be possible. maybe it'll give me the boost i need to become more assertive & get my life moving again.
Guess what?
I'm doing another solo return flight in a day - next wednesday!!!!
And you know what? I didnt even feel nervous or anxious when I agreed to do it, and this time I booked the flights myself. Gosh, how grown-up I feel.
:yesyes:Well done :yahoo:
Next set of flights are booked, thurs 13th!!
Tomorrow is my latest trip. I feel excited!!!! Amazing.
....and I am doing it again tomorrow..... 2 short flights.......
AuntieMoosie
09-10-13, 20:54
Well done Tessar :yesyes:
Flying or even going to an airport is something that I can never in a million years see me doing :wacko:
I would have said the same thing til about 9 years ago when I made the decision to go on holiday abroad. When I agreed to do it, I remember a few hours later thinking "what have I done". Really could have done with NMP in those days....... Mind you, I was in such a state I would probably have overwhelmed the website with a million posts!!!!
I would have said the same this time last year but then I just went ahead and booked a trip so had to go as I wasn't going to waste my money! I panicked big time about it though :D
Good luck with your trip tomorrow Tessar.
almamatters
09-10-13, 21:21
Good luck Tessar, I really admire you for doing this, like Auntie I don't feel I could ever do something like this. :hugs: xx
Maybe I should see how much interest there is in people masking their fear and we will do an nmp trip to the airport. This might sound crazy, but when I arrive at the airport & hear the planes, it's kind of exciting. Still scary, especially as we take of but also exhilarating. Again when we are in the air, I am not sure that i'd feel quite that way!
---------- Post added at 21:27 ---------- Previous post was at 21:25 ----------
Annie, I would say "why do we do it to ourselves" (as in book trips) .... But I know why, because challenging ourselves keeps us going and means we live life to the full. Well this is me signing off for bed!!!!
No-one up for a trip to the airport? I could have a send off party next time I fly for work.mi survived. Got a bit of ear ache & am knackered. my landings were shall we say a little interesting. But nowhere near enough to put me off.
Tessar, where do you live?
I would love to have a trip to the airport because I have just been dumped by my partner of 13 years for my refusal to fly. The post is in the General Anxiety forum.
I feel so guilty because I have stopped him going abroad for 13 years.
How did you begin to conquer your phobia? Are you ok with travelling abroad as well?
hi antique. i am in the south east. i have flown abroad. my first flight was to the states. my fear related to not liking being shut in with loadsof other people and i am emetophobic too so air sickness really bothered me. well, i have done quite a number of fligfhts and never felt unwell. i have endured flights when other people have been ill. i survived. that's the important thing isnt it. even though i will say i was scared, i have always survived.
in fact, i'd really encourage you to give it a go. am i right in remembering you're in wales? when i get the local airport now, i actually feel a tinge of excitement. still scared too but i feel you could always start with a shorter flight one day. they do courses for people witha fear of flying, have you seen those? you get lots of coaching first then a flight.
i'd love to help you if i can. bearing in mind that driving a car is loads more dangerous according to the safety figures, i know it's a big deal with being thousands of feet up but indeed you are safer up there than on the road.
anyway, let me know how you are doing. it is someting you can conquer but might need some work.
Antique, is there any particular aspect of flying that scares you most? My son did aerospace engineering at university and has helped put my mind at ease regarding some of the safety features. I would have gone to the airport with you but I live north east.
Various things scare me: the idea I am not in control. I can't walk around as in a train and I can't control where I go or when I stop as in my car. So I guess a sensation of being trapped with the potential of my anxiety running wild!
Also the mere idea of being thousands of feet up in the air with nothing but fresh air beneath me!
I worried about being thousands of feet in the air with nothing but fresh air and someone told me to try to imagine being in a bowl of jelly instead of in the air. I know it sounds daft but it works for me...I am quite happy up there in my giant bowl of jelly :D I usually take my MP3 player with relaxing music on it and just close my eyes or get my head stuck in a book. I am still scared on take off and landing but fine now once that I am up there.
sleepydorset
18-10-13, 22:06
I have a big fear of flying and I did the same as you, I faced it alone and did a small internal flight of just over an hour. The best thing for me was to use my camera phone to take lots and lots of photo's and some small video clips, I really wish I had asked someone to take a photo of me so I could look back on it! Anyway the taking photo's thing really kept me occupied and busy, I also listened to my iPod but it did make my ears really hurt so I think headphones rather than in-ear ones would be better!
All the best and trust me you are euphoric at the other end, MASSIVE sense of pride, it's the best feeling ever!
Sleepydorset.... I do much of that. Taking pictures, I try doing "selfies" but I always look terrible in them, usually manage to point the camera up my nose. My landing last time was quite bumpy & I was a little scared so I took a video so I could see afterwards how brave I had been, you are so right bout that massive sense of pride after landing, really that feeling is definitely euphoric. That is maybe why I have been back for more of these short flights for work. I am an adrenaline junkie!!!!! Well, sort of.
But I would recommend any one scared of flying to give it a go, because if you do manage it or even attempt it, every moment of fear and courage is really really worth the outcome. It makes you feel so much more confident I feel. And yes, being up there with a load of air underneath you is unsettling but I focus in the pane floor beneath my feet, the sets I am sitting in etc. focus on the area around me, in that sense I am grounded.
So tomorrow I will be doing a couple of short flights for work. My first ones this year. Amazingly, last year I did several trips for work which involved flying . I never thought I wold fly on my own. Anyway, tomorrow it'll be in a different aircraft. I always look up what plane I will be on & this one tomorrow will be a new one to me. I think I had got used to the one I flew on last year so this will be a new challenge in a sense but I will still be ok I hope. After all, having mastered getting to the airport myself, getting on all the right flights etc..... Well, I know what I am doing. So I am off to bed now. Early start in the morning. Thankfully I didn't have to fly when the weather would be at it's worst. I still get apprehensive & nervous but compared to the nerves when I did my first work flights last spring, there is no comparison.
Good luck Tessar! I'm sure you'll be fine, looking forward to hearing positive stories tomorrow night :)
Cheers lizzie. I'm in departures. We leave in 25mins.yes nervous but i'm in that sort of functioning in the lowest form u can sort of shutdown mode. Playing my music & surfing 2distract myself. Ignoring everything around& focusing on my own little world.
I survived my flights. A few bumps & one point when we went down enough to feel a bit like a roller coaster. I am v.tired but then I wud b after experiencing something scary! Thing is.... I survived. Proof positive its possible to face the fear & do it anyway. So.... Go for it my friends because u might just be pleasantly surprised at what u can achieve.
Well done! Another great achievement and 1-0 to you versus anxiety :)
2036
Tessar smiling in the aeroplane :)
2036
Tessar smiling in the aeroplane :)
That's is a brilliant picture Annie ..... I love it!!!
Hi, what aspect of the journey is the most un nerving??
Well, it used to be just being up in the air, so the whole thing. Take off was always scary. I have done alot of journeys now over the last few months and I'd say the balance is tipping more towards exhilaration and less of fear. I am worried about turbulence making me feel I'll (&it is scary when that happens) but as an emetophobe also I get scared about being shut in a plane with other people who may also get I'll. what I will say is, it has never been as bad as I anticipated & the more I do it, the less scared I am. I thought I would become a pitiful wreck flying on my own. But it didnt happen. If u get the chance then Go for it I say. Don't put something like this off because you can do it. The things we fear hardly ever happen & even if they do.... We can get through them. The confidence I have gained from doing this is immense. It beats the fear hands down.
Hi,
I would never worry on take off, I actually went through a point of learning to fly. Take off is the weirdest part as in a small plane you get a touch of zero gravity...
Generally we had to do a flight plan, walk round the plane check and make sure everything was ok. On start up we checked to make sure everything moved and taxied out to the runway. Once there we did a full power check, then after getting permissionn taking off..... If it helps... part of taking off is also ensuring that you have enough runway to stop on full power.
It is possible also to glide a plane for a significant distance too!!
Hope this helps
---------- Post added at 08:45 ---------- Previous post was at 08:41 ----------
Turbulence or Windshear can be quite unnerving but its nothing to worry about. However your getting ill worry is quite valid....
In an effort to cut costs there is more air in an aircraft thats actually recycled (its cheaper fuel bill).....
Errr well..... I have had some bumpy landings. A couple last year were unnerving but I survived. I was rather hoping u'd say something to alleviate the getting ill worry!! Thing is, I don't dwell in it like I used to. No point, of course sometimes I get very stressed over it but I realise that is actually pointless. It's about managing your fear so it doesn't stop u achieving things. Anyway thanku for being helpful it's appreciated.
Sorry... I'll put it another way.... In the last 6 years alonenincluding return journeys
I've flown on +20 variety of Hercs / Chinook / Puma / various small aircraft in a hostile environment
I've flown 16 long hall trips < 9 hours on Airbus
I've flown 10 short hall trips < 5 hours
I've flown 1 long hall trip 11 hours on 747
Out of that:
I've had one case of turbulence that I can remember... Flying over a thunderstorm....
I've had one landing I can remember, nothing to worry about unless you're flying in a hostile environment
I've never had a bad take off
I've caught one cold that I could attribute to being on a plane
I've never had in flight emergency.....
Dont worry you'll be fine :)
I recall when I was doing my CBT (a few years ago) I discussed flying. In the end I decided to try it. Compared to back then when I was really scared, I have come on leaps & bounds. I still get anxious (I flew 2day & was more anxious than the last few times) but I think it depends flight to flight. I don't get anywhere near as apprehensive.
Your figures are interesting (thanku) since they would be along the lines of what I discussed in therapy. My therapist got me to think about people i knew who flew for both work & pleasure & generally speaking their experiences mirrored what u say.
I am hoping that by sharing my current experiences it might help someone who is thinking about flying.
It's like so many things in life,.., in the end if u keep working at it u can overcome most of the fear or at least enough to allow u to do these things. And then u get the rewards.
I have to say a year ago I wouldn't even contemplate doing these flights for work. Now I
Have made numerous short flights & want to carry on doing them.
I am definitely calmer and later in the year have a holiday lined up including long-haul flights. Other than being surrounded by hundreds of people (which I don't like) the reward will be brilliant & made tolerating the flights very much worth it,
Thanks again jcd :-) my the way, u sound v,brave to me! I doubt I'd want to get in a chinook..... If it banked I would probably scream but then I doubt anyone would hear me in it!!!!
Glad I could help, what I would suggest is using an airport lounge... They're quite cheap to buy a ticket in....
I would also try and book over wing or exit seats, they're generally the ones with the better room. I would also book a window seat.... On long haul flights I tend to break the jouney up by going to the toilet half way through and spending 5 mins stood in the galley to strech my legs before getting back to my seat.
If you're in a window seat no one can disturb you too :)
James
Well folks .... I had a very rough flight today and guess what? I survived. I will b up there again in a day or two as I didn't get to deliver the files to our office. Any flight after this one will be so much easier I am sure.
I mean it was scary but I even managed to help the lady next to me not be as scared. I was telling her how the plane is designed to withstand windy conditions. we had 2 aborted landings & got shaken about all over the place but I was explaining to her how all this is was well within the plane's capabilities. Get me the experienced reassuring passenger!!!!! But I did believe what I was saying.
My worst nightmare happened as In other people were airsick. But again it wasn't that bad. I will not let it stop me going again.
in a funny sort of way, I enjoy the challenge but i am not an adrenaline junkie, no way. today would have satisfied the needs of people who like thrills though. It was a bit too full on for me but sometimes life chucks stuff at you.
Jcd_gad.... You'd have been proud of me today; I was mindful of your helpful comments on this thread so thank u for that. This is why information can b very helpful as long as u absorb it in a healthy way.
Off the back of your comments I read more stuff on google. But like I say I was doing it to Learn about how planes are designed to withstand bad conditions and also when we are being thrown about I can be happy in the knowledge the pilot is well trained and knows what he is doing.
If any one is interested I know a link to some very good information about fear if flying.
Hi,
Perhaps you could go one step further... Have a look go down at flying clubs near by.
You could go down speak to them, I would recommend a taster flight.... They're dirt cheap and can last between 30 mins to 1 hour.
Basically you can either just have a look around an aircraft or ask for a flight. Find out a bit more about it.... The other thing with the taster session is that you'll hear everything thats been said. Once the plane is up in the air and high enough you'll be able to take control, again if you want...
Just something to consider....
I couldn't get in a small plane..... No way.... but I am going again on Monday so it hasn't put me off. Plus I now know one if my worst nightmares isnt so bad after all even if it left me anxious for some time. It was like physically I had to cope with this but I wasn't so bad emotionally.
Hi Tessar.
I am a member of my local flying club and I fly quite often in 2 and 4 seater planes. Although I haven't got my pilots license due to medical reasons, I do take to the skies quite a lot, and was nervous of flying when I started. But for me the nerves was just my negative way of thinking, and my lack of knowledge of how an aircraft actually flies. The best thing I ever done was to take the controls of the aircraft my self....difference now is I just never stopped flying lol. If you have any other further questions about flying (although you probably have a lot of information by now), feel free to send me a message and hopefully I can answer some of your questions or put you at ease further. I actually have a photo blog with some pictures of some of my recent trips if interested but because I am new I cant post links just yet but can email you the link to my public blog on blogger. Either way, It sounds like you're well on your way to freedom in the air, its great to hear!
All the best, Alex
Hey Alex r u able to post links yet?
i flew again 2day. I am doing these short flights pretty much once a week. Am so much calmer about being up there. Of course I still have moments when I think about the risks of being 14,000 feet up & in a week when a plane dropped off the radar, I was mindful of that too. But none of that is enough to stop me. I look at it that driving my car is more risky.
On the plus side as well...... being out of the office one day a week gives me variety. Also because I am responsible for the work i take with me, it means i have a continual focus in my job. the last couple of months i have really upped my game at work. It has been necessary to take on board extra workload & responsibilities. i had no option as staff had left.
if i look back to where i was last year..... well i am in a much better place in terms of commitment to my job. getting the balance between work & home life hasn't been easy at times & the last few weeks have been stressful. I feel though that I am turning a corner. I volunteered to have a go at doing these flights & readily admit I was really scared to start with but flying regularly is continuing to raise my confidence levels to new heights (forgive the pun). It really does demonstrate how "facing the fear & doing it anyway" is worthwhile. I strongly recommend.... Whatever it is..... Give it a go.
almamatters
12-03-14, 19:28
I love your positive flying posts Tessar, it makes me happy that you do things like this with such confidence! I read them and believe that I will do it one day! xxx
Hey alma, thank you for you kind words i appreciate them. I am living proof you could indeed do it one day. If you wind the clock back 10 yrs I had never been on a plane. I never thought I would, let alone get on one on my own. Really we all have it in us to do these things, sometimes we get the opportunity & I guess if we are able to psyche ourselves up enough we an do it. I would really like to set up a group so that one day we could go to an airport to check it all out, then another time meet up and do a short flight. Having been able to come this far it would be brilliant to help other people do something like this.
Catherine S
14-03-14, 01:19
Tessar, ive loved reading this thread because on May 2nd i'm booked to fly to France to see my daughter and grandchildren who live there. The problem is that it will be the first time ive done this alone, which means I have done this before but always with my hubby, but because of other committments he cannot come with me this time and its a special birthday for my daughter who will be 30 on May 3rd. Ive spent every day since i booked the flight in turmoil...should i cancel, no I can't do that to her, so i have to do it for her...and for me too. Even when ive flown with my hubby ive been really nervous about it and have my coping tools, which I will use this time too, and include a glass of wine in the bar before boarding and another on the plane....which i make no apologies for sorry! Also unfortunately, in the past whenever ive booked a flight there suddenly seemed to be lots of stories about planes being caught up in some problem or another, and i'm afraid this week's awful incident with the Air Malaysia aircraft disappearing has been no exception. But I have to be rational about it and think positively about it because I have to do it....its been paid for!
I just wanted to say how much this thread has helped me to get it all into perspective, and the fact that it was just there in front of me as i was scrolling down through the threads tonight shows that I was meant to read it. Thanks.
ISB :flowers:
---------- Post added at 02:19 ---------- Previous post was at 01:14 ----------
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2580580/Horror-aborted-takeoff-leads-plane-crash-Philadelphia-International-Airport.html
Just half an hour after I posted my reply I logged in to the newspaper and saw this report...see what i mean? Every time i book a flight i start to see things like this happening and makes me feel that something is telling me to cancel!
You know what, I Still Believe, when you come to do it, you will find that yes indeed the apprehension will be there and yes you'll feel anxious because I did. But something that was in my favour and yours is you've done it before. Strangely I am calmer on my own & I wonder if thats because I dont have my partner to lean on as it were so I need to be strong for myself.
The thing to remember about the incidents like this is that although they do happen, they are VERY rare. You have to remind yourself that safety standards in the air are so high that it is indeed the safest form of travel. Of course being so high up generates alot of fear and I totally understand that. But you will be as safe as can be, just as I am on my work trips.
I am so impressed you are doing this!
I Still Believe, I also wanted to say how much I appreciate your comments, they mean a lot to me. One of the things that helped me do these scary things is support & encouragement from my friends here. If sharing my experiences helps other people go on to achieve things, well that is pretty cool.
Catherine S
14-03-14, 21:03
I read this thread from the beginning and could actually see how much your confidence increased as it went on. Its amazing to read it all in one go, when in actuality, it happened over some time! Your comments helped me loads, and I've also had words of wisdom from my daughter who gave me a run down of all the things that can kill you compared to flying...including falling out of bed...gotta love the girl! I will not back out of this flight because I miss my family and really want to see them and know that I have to travel alone sometimes. I guess in the end I just have to say Que Sera Sera.. what will be will be because there comes a point in all of this anxiety when you get tired of worrying.
ISB :flowers:
Tomorrow I will be doing my 36th round trip encompassing two short flights.
Everyone...... Don't keep thinking you can't do certain things because they are "too scary"..... That just is not the case, it really isn't.
You CAN do scary things & the more u do them, the less scary they get. You know what? You can even end up enjoying them...... That is what has happened to me with these trips I am doing for work.
When I started doing these flights a year ago I was pretty darned scared about it. I'd get anxious the night before.... become increasingly anxious on the way to the airport & by the time we were due to board i'd be really nervous. Take off was like "oh my gawd, what am I doing here" followed by thoughts of a not too positive nature once we were airborne. It was all pretty nerve-wracking at te outset.
Thing is, folks, I don't get anxious anymore. Barely a glimmer.
No nerves either.
Of course I have my "moments" but the difference is phenomenal.
I have achieved this by simply getting on with it. Facing the fear & discovering it is nothing like as bad as I had been building it up to be. I have survived very rough flights, had some really smooth ones, taken spectacular pictures, chatted to people, even comforted nervous flyers!
It is possible.... Not just for me..... But for everyone, including you.....
To accomplish so much more than you think you can.
I look forward to these trips now as they present an opportunity for some "me" time. I enjoy being in total charge of my day. I know the ropes. I even recognise the stewardesses now & they say "see u soon" because they know I will be back. I have even started to get recognised by the taxi drivers at the other end.
Well, signing off now as I am flying again tomorrow..... it's been good to share my positive news........ Here's to hoping you will soon be enjoying your own adventure too :-)
I have even tarted to get recognised by the taxi drivers at the other end.
Well of course I know the s just got missed off but it did give me a laugh thinking of you tarting yourself up to get recognised by the taxi drivers :D
Tessar you are an inspiration to all of us. You have come so far. I will be flying a week on Saturday :scared15: I am very nervous but your example has encouraged me to be able to deal with it more positively. Many people on NMP have a phobia of flying and this is a great thread for them to read so THANK YOU :)
Ooops, don't want to tart myself to the taxi drivers, that really wouldn't do!
Well spotted, annie,I have amended it.
And thank you for your feedback it is really appreciated. Since it has been a positive experience (or series of experiences) I really wanted to share it with everyone.
When u fly soon, annie, u will be able to recall your more positive experiences & mine too. I reckon u will take heart from those.
Something to remind yourself of is the strong feeling of elation when u have landed. That "punch the air moment" that u realise your spectacular achievement. Now that is special. As will be your holiday too :-)
Feeling of elation when I have landed!? You have to be joking? haha for me it is a feeling of great relief and for my husband an ice pack for his hand which will have been crushed to pieces by me holding onto it. I use his thumb to pull back like a lever to stop the plane!! :roflmao: I usually take a day to recover from the experience but then start to relax and enjoy my holiday.
That's brilliant. I'm made up for you Tessar :yahoo:
That's brilliant. I'm made up for you Tessar :yahoo:
Thanku!
---------- Post added at 22:38 ---------- Previous post was at 22:36 ----------
Feeling of elation when I have landed!? You have to be joking? haha for me it is a feeling of great relief and for my husband an ice pack for his hand which will have been crushed to pieces by me holding onto it. I use his thumb to pull back like a lever to stop the plane!! :roflmao: I usually take a day to recover from the experience but then start to relax and enjoy my holiday.
Oh yeah, I forgot about your poor husband having to suffer !!!:scared15::lac::weep:
I am sure you could buy a toy aeroplane control set........?
All gain, no pain...?
hmm the toy thing may be a good idea :)
Just to say.... I am still flying. Most weeks I make a short trip for work. In comparison to my first flight for work, the difference is amazing. I really do encourage anyone nervous about flying to give it a go. Statistically it is safer than so many other forms of transport and the exhalation you feel upon accomplishing something like this is truly inspiring. It fills you with confidence if you can do something you considered impossible.
So I did this and won!
I fly (for work) on my own almost every week.
Tomorrow they are predicting gales and guess who is meant to be flying???
Will need to be brave :-)
You will just be wobbling a bit in a BIG bowl of jelly :D
It was a bl@@dy huge jelly bit I survived, l feel very proud of myself. I was relieved when we landed as it was very rough. I drove back to work afterwards and my hands were still shaking when I got back. But.... i am fine now & I knew my life was never in danger. That's just it. These things do feel very scary because they are uncomfortable. The discomfort makes you scared, or at least it makes me scared. But if I am honest I knew I would be ok.
It was odd though because each time it got worse and we wobbled about more, I kept wondering "what if I get really scared" or "what if i am so scared i didnt know what to do or how to cope" ... "what will i do, curl up in a ball", "cry, scream.......?"
but I never get that scared in reality. instead I cope. I don't know how but I cope.
People..... I have to say ..... It's amazing what you can survive.... Really do....
Feel the fear but do it anyway....!!!!! Because you might just amaze yourself.
You Have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BRAVE!!!!!
I was thinking this morning that if I needed to fly again today I'd be perfectly happy to climb aboard. Yesterday's experience did nothing to affect my confidence. If anything it strengthened my resolve.
I am going on a big holiday in just over 2 weeks. Very long transatlantic flights. It'll really test my resolve. But I am 100% up for it even if I do get stressed.
I think anyone could be stressed over a big holiday, as in the amount of planning & effort required to get yourself there. Considering how scared of flying I once was, I am amazed even myself at my resilience.
In many respects, I am not so much scared of flying now as I just do not like being enclosed with hundreds of people. Be that in an airport terminal or especially on a plane. Knowing the flight will last a set time. Knowing I can't get off. I don't like that bit what can I do? Not a lot.
I will pass the time by busying myself writing letters, listening to music & hopefully sleeping too. Never slept on a plane ever. I hope this time it will happen.
The thing is, it's a means to an end isn't it?If I make the effort. If I put myself through it....
At the end if that will be an amazing holiday full of new exciting experiences.
The countdown (that I have been trying not to think about) has truly begun.
Yes I can feel the trip "looming in the back of my mind" but at the same time the relief if getting away from work & finally being on holiday is also there up with it.
I have been concentrating on each day, just getting through that. work is really stressful at the moment But at last there is light at the end of my tunnel.
Oh you are sounding sooooo positive :yahoo: and the holiday is going to get you away from the stress of work for a while :)
Well that's it isn't it? Focus on the positive. There is so much of it too.
It's a case of deliberately bringing the positive into your thinking every day.
so true...feel the fear and do it and enjoy it :)
UPDATE: If I look back now & read the posts I put up regarding my fear of flying, I feel as if I am a totally different person. And indeed I am where this is concerned. The number of times I hear people say "feel the fear and do it anyway". Well, I am so glad I did face my fear. First time I flew on my own I was riddled with fear & anxiety. These days I do it pretty near once a week for work. I have no pre-flight fear at all. Zero per cent.
I am able enjoy my trips. I get to the airport early & have a coffee. I am in my own little world in the departure lounge. I keep an eye on the time & am mindful of listening out for anything affecting my flight. Other than that, I am in my own little happy world.
During the flight, even if something hitherto scary happens, I simply take it in my stride. OK, sometimes the plane has a bump or we bank steeply & I am perhaps looking at the ground! Yeah in that "moment" it is something my brain says is scary. Well of course it would seem scary because flying isnt necessarily natural for humans. Unlike birds we have to use machines to do it. But I know (in my mind) I am safe. Very safe.
My conclusion is this..............
As I have said before you get out there and do it.
Whatever is holding you back - you can overcome it.
It will be thoughts that are stopping you.
Thoughts that seem founded on definite facts but in reality what is stopping you is nothing factual at all.
If you break things down into facts & be simplistic & realistic, you CAN overcome the hurdles you have that stop you enjoying things or doing things you wish you could.
Often once you try these things you can (like me) come to really enjoy them.
Flying for me is now the highlight of my week.
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