View Full Version : Desperate for help/advice :(
Hi, I've been doing so well recently! Got a new job, something that I love doing! Was so proud of myself, I started two weeks ago & currently still training. However, on Monday I woke up fine, drove to work feeling anxious for some reason? When I got in work & started speaking to everyone I had this sudden rush all through my body, my eyes went fuzzy, my stomach started hurting, I was having hot sweats.. Suddenly, I knew I was having a panic attack again :( I got sent home because I told them I was 'sick in the toilets' but really I was just suffering from my panic disorder/anxiety disorder again. Since Monday I haven't been back to work :( I'm terrified it will happen again! I don't know what to do, this is a brand new job, I don't want my anxiety to take over my life again but i'm having trouble keeping it together! Another side effect which is making me feel 100x worse is depersonalization/derealization! I don't know what to do because i'll have to go back to work tomorrow or I fear I could be fired :( I need help/advice ANYTHING! I'm desperate right now :'(
HM2012, gosh the work anxiety thing I ponder over constantly! I'm career mad and for the sake of my kids and financial reasons often contemplate returning to work, I've been off for 2 years since I first encounterd the world of panic and anxiety disorder when I had my breakdown. I've just applied for a post as a geneticist & would love it but because f the reasons your describing, it really puts me off. ( im gonna just see how i feel if i get an interview) It would knock my confidence and I think I'd be in a worse state 'career wise' than 2 years ago when I gave my PGCE up and felt like a massive failure. So I can completely understand you despair, having gone back so happy and feeling good and a matter of weeks in your already having anxiety & panic issues.
I'd go back tomorrow or call my manager and I'd probably just be honest and explain the real problem. I can't think of any other solutions other than go to the docs for either meds or sick note OR try and go back and work through the panic ( but that's bloody hard, I couldn't do it) or talk to your boss. Then last resort -leave. I know it sounds blunt but I go over this all in my own head, that's why I'm soo reluctant to return to work.
Good luck and :bighug:
sandramick
06-03-13, 10:59
i so with u both i start new job in 4 days and i am so scared ! its all the wot ifs isnt it might panic / faint / shakes/ jelly legs the list is endless .
hm i really feel for u obviously the best thing is to try and go back but i no how hard that will be .
i wonder wether u should tell people u have anxiety i find when people no u feel betta yourself but again i no how hard this will be .
i cant decide wether to tell my new boss or not !
sorry i cant really help but sort of in the same situation myself
hope what ever u decide goes well
sandra :bighug1:
Sunshine77
06-03-13, 20:38
HM, with you totally. I had a breakdown 2 months into a new job. I was off for 6 weeks and have ended up leaving for the sake of my health and sanity. As Col says - drastic but necessary for me.
I was honest with my employers after 2 days of being off sick "with the noro virus" and I have to say they were great and didn't judge me. I did go back briefly before I resigned and expected everyone to know about it but nobody seemed to know why I was off, which helped lots.
Good luck and keep us posted :hugs:
---------- Post added at 20:38 ---------- Previous post was at 20:37 ----------
Sandra - wow, that's come round fast!! You will do great xx
i so with u both i start new job in 4 days and i am so scared ! its all the wot ifs isnt it might panic / faint / shakes/ jelly legs the list is endless .
hm i really feel for u obviously the best thing is to try and go back but i no how hard that will be .
i wonder wether u should tell people u have anxiety i find when people no u feel betta yourself but again i no how hard this will be .
i cant decide wether to tell my new boss or not !
sorry i cant really help but sort of in the same situation myself
hope what ever u decide goes well
sandra :bighug1:
Good luck
I told my boss and work colleagues, being honest might be embarrassing but the company will know and then can help you do your job around anxiety situations.
starlight78
07-03-13, 07:52
Hi HM, so sorry you are struggling! This is a blip, caused by stress of a new job that you so desperately want to go well.
It's going to be hard but you need to go back. You may panic again but it will come and go, you need to see it through and show it that it cannot stop you from doing want you want!
I would talk to your boss and explain you may need to take a time out every so often. That may take the pressure of. Also if you have some diazepam you could use that for your first few days back?
Good luck x
I agree with Starlight. I had a breakdown in Jun 2012, had 6 months off and now just started my PhD in Jan. It was going ok-ish (I was coping, just) then BANG! Massive anxiety worse than ever before, night terrors, panic attacks the lot. But I've kept going and it seems to be passing. Its gave me massive confidance that I can get through busy days even when my panic is at its worst. Good luck xxx
Thanks everyone, I'm going back tomorrow. So nervous :( They think i've been off with a sickness bug but i'm petrified they'll fire me for being off for 5 days :( Staying in the house is making me crazy! I want to go back to work but terrified of what people will say/act towards me. Just praying I can get through this! Any advice guys? :(
tessasuzanne
07-03-13, 16:08
You need to hold your head high and walk back in there, you CAN do it.
I too have recently started a new job, and ended up having a bit of a breakdown a month in, handing in my notice and withdrawing it again! I am still there, still working, still fighting the anxious thoughts and feelings but I am WINNING! Every positive day you have back at work will strengthen you to face the bad days.
I was also very honest with my employers and told them about my anxiety, fortunately they have been very understanding and worked with me to help me through this rough patch. I can't say that every employer will be as sympathetic, I've met a few small minded people in my time, but if you feel you can deal with them knowing and would be reassured by the fact that they do I would definitely recommend being honest.
Wishing you well.
You need to hold your head high and walk back in there, you CAN do it.
I too have recently started a new job, and ended up having a bit of a breakdown a month in, handing in my notice and withdrawing it again! I am still there, still working, still fighting the anxious thoughts and feelings but I am WINNING! Every positive day you have back at work will strengthen you to face the bad days.
I was also very honest with my employers and told them about my anxiety, fortunately they have been very understanding and worked with me to help me through this rough patch. I can't say that every employer will be as sympathetic, I've met a few small minded people in my time, but if you feel you can deal with them knowing and would be reassured by the fact that they do I would definitely recommend being honest.
Wishing you well.
yep hold your head up & try again X
On the verge of a breakdown.
I don't think I can do this anymore :'(
On the verge of a breakdown.
I don't think I can do this anymore :'(
Ohh, how bad r u feeling now? Are you at breaking point, if u are, then that's another story & the advice I've given good but irrelevant , if your feeling absolutly 'beside yourself' . Hold on in there, get some sleep have a glass of water before hand & see how u feel in the morning X
Sunshine77
08-03-13, 09:16
Thinking of you today HM - let us know how it's gone.
Remember whatever happens you are doing great just putting one foot in front of the other. Some days that's all we need to do :hugs:
Sunshine77
11-03-13, 10:02
HM how are you doing? How did it go? Are you ok? x
Hi! Managed to get myself back in on Friday & had a great day :) Was anxious throughout but got through it! However, my mum is on holiday until tomorrow & my little sister is unwell so i've had to look after her today & miss work! I'm now on stage 2 of my probation appatently.. I really don't want to lose this job & i'll be going back tomorrow.. Just praying they won't get rid of me :( xx
One thing I was going to add was not to beat yourself up so much about the what ifs and the anticipatory anxiety. I think we are all overly sensitive to anxiety, I dont know what started your issues off in the first place but whatever they were it may just mean you (like me) are one of those sensitive people who are more acutely aware of anxious feelings.
I would try to acknowledge this as just the way I am and then get to work on ways to understand that anxiety and panic are 2 separate things. I have always mistakenly thought that just because I was anxious it automatically meant panic was on its way. And surprise surprise that is exactly what would happen.
Now I am learning that it is my response to the anxious feelings that allow the panic attack to ensue. If I don't react to the anxious feelings (easier said than done :D) there is no way my body can feed the symptoms and lead me into a panic attack.
Hand in hand with this must go the understanding that it doesn't matter if i have a panic attack as nothing in the world will change. I will not die etc. Once you lose the fear of a panic attack you will never feed the anxious feelings and create a panic attack as you don't care about having anxiety.
I think you should give yourself an enormous pat on the back for having gone back out and found yourself this job. Do not let your confidence get knocked as this is another way for the panic and anxiety to take over. We feel less confident in our abilities so we think we can't do something, then we feel anxious, then we feel even less confident, more anxious etc etc etc.
Sunshine77
11-03-13, 17:25
Well done HM, that's brilliant that you went back even when you were feeling so bad - as Pinktel says you should definitely give yourself a big cheer!
In every job I've ever had I've been convinced that I'm going to get sacked. It never happened but it kept me awake plenty of nights. I bet you are far more valued than you think you are.
Take care :hugs:
Thank you so much Sunshine77! XX
Currently sat in the toilets at work dazed & confused as i've just had another panic attack at my desk :'( I don't think taking my meds (20mg of prozac) in the morning is helping because it's just making me feel drowsy/depersonalization! Perhaps taking my tablets before bed would be better? Advice/help now please :'( terrified to go back out in front of everyone! Xx
Nothing bad is going to happen, there is nothing physically wrong with your body, keep telling yourself that. You are suffering from the evils of adrenaline that is all. You can hold that adrenaline all day if needs be, it can come in waves again and again, but it is just a hormone which your own body is creating and it CANNOT harm you.
The symptoms will come and go but everyone's day will just carry on. The sun will come up tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.... your feelings will come and go, you will have good days and bad days, but each new day WILL come and you just have to go with it and get through it.
If you are having panic attacks I would question whether your meds are having the desired effect. If I have a headache and I took painkillers which did nothing I think I would stop trying them. You need to get some form of therapy going as that is the best treatment for anxiety.
depersonalization will not harm you, you need to try and float through it (I know that is easier said than done) but the stress you are putting yourself through trying to hide your panic will only increase your body thinking something is dreadfully wrong.
Hi love how u doing ? Hope you've gatherd yourself x
Sunshine77
12-03-13, 12:48
Hi HM How are you feeling now? Just seen your post. Hope you've made if out of the Ladies. Remember how you felt going back on Friday and yet you said afterwards that you'd had a great day! If you can just keep taking those baby steps it sounds as though the rewards are there for you.
Let us know how you're doing :hugs: You CAN do this, I have faith in you x
Lying in bed feeling awful! Had to work 9 hours yesterday, today was my only day off.. It's my 'time of the month' i've had not a lot of sleep in the past few days, just taken my 20mg of prozac about half an hour ago & I feel as if i'm not really here/drunk.. I'm panicing thinking i'm either about to go insane or have a heart attack! HELP :'(
---------- Post added at 22:05 ---------- Previous post was at 21:50 ----------
Everything around me feels unreal, I feel like everything is in slow motion.. Feel like I could pass out at any moment! What's happening to me :'( Sounds crazy but i'm scared to go to sleep incase I die! I don't know what to do anymore!
---------- Post added at 22:33 ---------- Previous post was at 22:05 ----------
Somebody? Anybody? Help me :'(
How are you feeling now? Those feelings you described above are really really common anxiety feelings. I've had them so many times I can't count them. I watch something light hearted on telly to help me calm down - could you try that?
---------- Post added at 11:51 ---------- Previous post was at 11:49 ----------
Also, have you tried breathing techniques to hlep you calm down? Put your hand on your stomach and breathe in making sure your stomach rises with your hand. Try it and see if it makes you feel better. It's okay if it doesn't, but you might as well give it a go.
I think i'm suffering from this - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007193.htm
All the symptoms, everything explained is what's been happening to me! My anxiety/panic is always worse when i'm on my period :'( I'm like 100% sure this is what I have! I still feel terrible :( Just went downstairs to my mum who just laughed at me & told me to go to sleep because it's all in my head! I just need support :'(
I think i'm suffering from this - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007193.htm
All the symptoms, everything explained is what's been happening to me! My anxiety/panic is always worse when i'm on my period :'( I'm like 100% sure this is what I have! I still feel terrible :( Just went downstairs to my mum who just laughed at me & told me to go to sleep because it's all in my head! I just need support :'(
Never a good thing to say what your mum said:curse::curse::curse::curse:
How are you now?
Still awful :'( So afraid to go to sleep even though i'm exhausted & i'm meant to be in work for half 8 tomorrow morning :(
I feel like nobody cares :(
you must never feel nobody cares, look at all the people who replied and took time to help you on this thread and others... there are lots of people who are trying to help. I am sure your mum does not want to see you worried and upset but she probably just does not know how to handle you for the best.
You say you think you have this pre menstrual disorder... perhaps you do? from what I can read about the link you put up, it doesn't sound like they are saying it's life threatening, do you think you could follow their advice and see if it helps your symptoms? It sounded easy advice to follow if it could make things better for you.
At the end of the day people can only say so many things to you about understanding how you feel, tips for coping, advice on what has worked for them. The cruel nature of anxiety disorder means the buck actually stops with you... nobody else can take it away from you. You can listen and listen to people giving you advice but unless you act on it and try to help yourself people will run out of things to say.
I am sure if your mum knew how to help you she would. I am guessing she is neither a psychologist or psychiatrist so it is hard to expect solutions from her. there is help available - are you trying any therapy at all? Do you feel your problem is anxiety or depression or both?
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