family birthday

[lashes]

hiya , having a rubbish day and tomorrow its my patners sisters birthday and i really feel like i cant go ,i struggle to eat in front of people ,i dont really like any of them or have anything in common with anyone so i feel really like outcast and im worried ill panic i know my cbt therapist would say go how can you overcome things of you dont do them but i really dont want to but i dont want to feel like ive let myslef down if i dont go argghh so confused sorry bad day:( what do you all think ?x

[kittikat]

Hi hun, I missed my nephews 1st birthday last weekend because I could not travel nearly 60 miles to get there, worried I would have a panic attack, embarrass myself and be so far away from my comfort zone (home).

I felt like I had let myself and my family down (although they were very understanding) and it really upset me. The trouble is I know my limitations, where I can go and where I can't. My therapist always said if you can't do something, you can always try again another day. Don't be too hard on yourself, I was and it just brings you down and makes you feel worse.

We can only do what we can do, and each small step is an achievement, that's what we should celebrate. Good luck, Kitti :) x

[lashes]

thanks kittikat , im so hard on myself and whenever i have a blip or cant do something it always goes downhill because i feel like im useless and get so upset with myself im doing well at the moment well im doing okay lol i hate saying anything nice about myself i doubt everything i say!i always find a negative for a positive i wish i could stop that ,i did go to her birthday thing last year and i just didt enjoy myself we dont get on paticulary so there isnt pressure for me to go but im trying to think postivley and i went to my friends family party last weekend and had a great time which i think is because they are all so lovely and i actually wanted to go !with this cbt exposure because the basic thing is to go and do everything i forget that if i didnt have panic nd anxiety i wouldnt have wanted to go anyway , sorry lol i just needed to get all that out x