Mr Topsy...
07-03-13, 10:38
Hi,
I joined this forum 3 years ago. I can't remember ever posting on here.
Just looking for advice or reassurance. My health Anxiety started around five and a half years ago. One day I woke up and suddenly had to escape the house as it felt as though it was closing in on me, I started to panic, left the house and went out for a walk to clear my head. This only got worse. I was in the middle of 'flight' and suddenly felt detached from reality, acute ringing sounds in my ear, chest pain and an almighty headache.
I went to the doctor as I thought I was literally going mad. He said it was anxiety and put me on 20mg of Paxil. I've pretty much been on it for five years.
However, around 3 years ago I weaned myself off the drug, all was well for a few months - then BANG out of the blue depression hit me. Feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness, breaking down crying for no reason etc etc. I decided to go back on the paxil and the depression went.
November 2012: I wanted to try and wean myself off the drug again, I felt as though I had become immune to the drug (where it doesn't seem to do much) but make me feel lethargic during the day and restless come bedtime. I also believe it retained fluid and made me look 'puffier' in the face.
When I say wean, well, I went from 20mg to nothing in the space of what must have been 3 weeks at the most, 1 and a half at the least.
December: I felt fine
Jan 2013: I felt fine
February: felt Okay until the last week or so and now:
This feeling of depression is back. Yet, it comes and goes (nothing in particular triggers it) but when it comes I have felt at worst suicidal; as though it would be easier for me and everyone around me to just see the back of me. It's been hard for my partner and today, as well as last Friday and Saturday were really bad days - they've made me realise that I am NOT normal.
I would like to add that my health anxiety, the initial (what I thought was the initial episode to my problems) problem switched off just like that after five years and coincided with me quitting smoking earlier this year. I always subconsciously & consciously thought I was going to get the big 'C' from smoking. This has been a plus. The cigarette was making me fear all along.
Now, I need to know:
Do you think I suffer the underlying illness of depression
OR
Is it possible this bout of depression is some sort of withdrawal from the paxil (3 months) after taking it? (Remembering I had exactly the same issues two years ago after stopping paxil).
Personally, I hope it's the second one and I can trundle through it until I'm mentally stable again because if it's the first I know the GP and councilor will want me to go back on meds again - especially as I've had the suicidal thoughts.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance
Mr Downer...
I joined this forum 3 years ago. I can't remember ever posting on here.
Just looking for advice or reassurance. My health Anxiety started around five and a half years ago. One day I woke up and suddenly had to escape the house as it felt as though it was closing in on me, I started to panic, left the house and went out for a walk to clear my head. This only got worse. I was in the middle of 'flight' and suddenly felt detached from reality, acute ringing sounds in my ear, chest pain and an almighty headache.
I went to the doctor as I thought I was literally going mad. He said it was anxiety and put me on 20mg of Paxil. I've pretty much been on it for five years.
However, around 3 years ago I weaned myself off the drug, all was well for a few months - then BANG out of the blue depression hit me. Feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness, breaking down crying for no reason etc etc. I decided to go back on the paxil and the depression went.
November 2012: I wanted to try and wean myself off the drug again, I felt as though I had become immune to the drug (where it doesn't seem to do much) but make me feel lethargic during the day and restless come bedtime. I also believe it retained fluid and made me look 'puffier' in the face.
When I say wean, well, I went from 20mg to nothing in the space of what must have been 3 weeks at the most, 1 and a half at the least.
December: I felt fine
Jan 2013: I felt fine
February: felt Okay until the last week or so and now:
This feeling of depression is back. Yet, it comes and goes (nothing in particular triggers it) but when it comes I have felt at worst suicidal; as though it would be easier for me and everyone around me to just see the back of me. It's been hard for my partner and today, as well as last Friday and Saturday were really bad days - they've made me realise that I am NOT normal.
I would like to add that my health anxiety, the initial (what I thought was the initial episode to my problems) problem switched off just like that after five years and coincided with me quitting smoking earlier this year. I always subconsciously & consciously thought I was going to get the big 'C' from smoking. This has been a plus. The cigarette was making me fear all along.
Now, I need to know:
Do you think I suffer the underlying illness of depression
OR
Is it possible this bout of depression is some sort of withdrawal from the paxil (3 months) after taking it? (Remembering I had exactly the same issues two years ago after stopping paxil).
Personally, I hope it's the second one and I can trundle through it until I'm mentally stable again because if it's the first I know the GP and councilor will want me to go back on meds again - especially as I've had the suicidal thoughts.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance
Mr Downer...