View Full Version : SCARED TO FEEL POSITIVE!
Hi all,
I feel a bit silly[:p] writing this but I wondered if anyone else has experienced this kind of thing!
I feel that I am scared to be Positive in case I have a panic attack.:( I find that I get odd surges of positivity then all of a sudden something happens and I am left feeling anxious and low.
For instance the other night I was feeling quite positive and felt I could deal with the anxiety. I typed a letter to a penfriend who is also a sufferer and gave her advice and I read it to my hubby and he could not believe I wrote it. He said is that really you talking as the letter was so positive. Anyway my Hubby went to work as he was on nights, & I went to bed feeling pretty pleased and still positive!!:D
Suddenly though I woke an hour later in a real panic heart racing, pain in my chest I felt trapped and really strange. Anyway I did some breathing and took some Bach flower remedy and I stopped it from going into a full blown Panick attack![^]
The silly thing is though now i have been feeling scared to feel positive in case I get knocked down again. It's like the anxiety is paying me back for feeling positive! (if that makes sense)![}:)]
My rational mind is saying don't believe it! But unfortantly my irrational mind is taking over and saying its true!:(
Any thoughts would be appreciated please to help my muddled brain LOL thank you [B)]
Sorry 4 waffaling [|)]
Take care all :)
Love PIP'S XX [:X]
Hi Pips,
I can really relate to that one. I feel it is as if the panic has to try to reasert [sp] itself[V]. Especially after a really good day. I'm sure someone will give us a good explanation for this.
hope you feel good today,
love Tess x
Hi,
I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I can feel really great for a few days and weeks but I don't like to get too excited in case the anxiety comes back which it usually does. I suppose we should make the most of the times when things are good and not anticipate having anxiety and panic attacks and things going wrong again.
Hiya
Pips - Im sorry you had a knockback the other night. Thats all it was tho hun, a knockback, you will be up there again in no time.
I think its very common to have a good day/few days and then BAM, out of the blue comes a panic. I feel like this too.
You are definately right Hazel about making the most of the good days. I think that the more you enjoy these days, the more good times and successes you have to look back on to keep egging you on.
The more you 'sit and wait' for the next panic, the less time you will be spending enjoying your life.
take care all
love sarah
xx
we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)
quote:You are definately right Hazel about making the most of the good days. I think that the more you enjoy these days, the more good times and successes you have to look back on to keep egging you on.
That is brilliant, Sarah and Hazel. I too, have been treading lightly through the good days, for fear of the panic rushing back and slapping me down, but that's so silly. Thank you.
Hi Folks
I feel exactly the same too - I have a good day and then its like I get let down with a PA the next one. Sarah and Hazel are bang on though, the more time we spend worrying about panic the less our quality of life will be. If its any help, my counsellor says that such feelings are common in anxious people but that we should tell ourselves that we do deserve to be positive and to be happy so next time you feel a bit worried about being optimistic just tell yourself that there's no reason whatsoever that you shouldn't.
Well done by the way on fending off your panic attack, that is really something to be proud of.
Love Jo xxx
quote:Well done by the way on fending off your panic attack, that is really something to be proud of.
Yes, I forgot to mention that! I will have to try Rescue Remedy. My only recourse so far has been Xanax, and I try to avoid that as much as possible.
Thank you so much Tess,Hazel,Sarah,Lilith and Jo, for all your kind words, they are much appreciated.
What you all say makes absolute sense! I must admit though I do tend to dwell and worry far to much and wait for the next dreaded P/A! Which I know makes this 100 times worse!
I suffer with Irritable Bowel Syndrome also. At present it has particularly bad with exstreme discomfort and bloating. I find I am often more anxious and depressed as I feel it rules my life most of the time!
Must keep tellimg myself there is nothing to FEAR!
Thanks all once again for all your thoughts and advice they are much appreciated!
I hope you are all well
Take care
Love PIP'S XX
Is IBS due to stress? I'm just wondering, as I have a couple of stress-related problems myself. What I'm wondering is, is the panic/anxiety due to stress? Or is the stress due to panic/anxiety?
Hi Lilith,
Well the only way I can describe it is my IBS is a condition which means is pretty much there most of the time. I do find that if I am more anxious or stressed it flares up more. Some days even when I am calm (well as calm as I can be) LOL I find my stomach still gets bloated crampy & uncomfotable. Which upsets me but if I get anxious over this it becomes worse!
Your stress related problems could work both ways really I would say Yes to both of them!
It's like a visious circle Yes you could well feel anxious & panicky if you are stressed but vice/versa having panic and anxiety is enough to stress anyone out.
So I know this might seem like you are in a bit of a no win situation really.
The best advice I can give you is to try and stay calm and let it go along with you as I know it's hard but the more you fight the anxiety & stress the harder it is to deal with. I think the key is learning to accept it I am still mastering that one!
I hope you are well
Take care Pip's XX
Hiya Pips,
Sorry to hear you had a bit of a blip.
You know that is all it was. We all have them and feel the same exact way as you described.
Glad though to hear that you are doing better.:)
Well done you, for controlling the attack. ;D
It is very discouraging when we have a a few good days/weeks and then have the anxiety/panic creep back upon us is`nt it?
Just keep those thoughts positive no matter what. The blip will pass.
I agree with you on the stress and anxiety/panic issues. I think it all goes hand in hand.
Sorry to hear that you suffer with IBS as well. I know that can be stressful in itself.
Here`s hoping everyone is having a great day. :)
I hope everyone is anxiety/panic free.
Take care all and be good to yourselves.
Love,
Diana xxx
P.S. I agree that the "KEY" is accepting it and I too am still trying to master that skill. ;)
Thank you so much Diana for your kind words they mean so much!
Hey if you do master the accepting thing please let us know!
I hope you are feeling well Take good care and thanks again!
Love PIP'S XX
No problem pips. ;)
I sure will, but if you get it first, you let us know okay????? LOL...... :-D
I am feeling fine. Thank you for hoping. :-)
Take care pips.
Lotsa Love your way.
Love Diana xoxoxo
Thanks so much for your message Diana,
I promise you will be one of the the first to know Diana. You sound such a kind person you truly deserve that panic free inner happiness and calm we all are striving for!
If I find that inner happiness and calm I will pass it on to you to! It's probably hidden away in my muddled brain somewhere!! LOL
Oh well keep searching for now hey :0) !!
Look after yourself Diana
I hope you are well
Loadsa Love PIP'S XX
Caz Fab Pants
24-06-04, 22:51
Pips,
I'm in the same frame of mind as you and also suffer with IBS. Although it's not been as bad since I started taking Lustral, (which has also worked wonders on my anxiety.)
I have a theory with regards to your 'knock back' and think the reason people sometimes panic following a good period is often because they are subconsiously scared of becoming over confident. In a way I guess its scary because the further up the recovery ladder you are the further you have to fall.
Also I know from experience that I'm always apprehensive about telling anyone if I'm feeling really good because things change. I also find that if you tell a friend how much better you're doing they nearly always invite you somewhere which puts you on the spot because you dont know if the panic monster is going to put in an appearance.
Unfortunately the nature of this problem means your situation can change in a flash. One minute you can do this and that and the next minute the panic feelings come flooding back.
Just dont dwell on blips too long and keep moving onwards and upwards.
Caroline
x
Hi Caroline,
Thank you so much for your message it was most kind. I know exactly what you mean and your theory makes so much sense especially the bit about being apprehensive about saying you are doing well, and climbing further up that ladder!
I feel exactly the same way. Prehaps next time we do get a good moment even if it only lasts a minute. We should shout it out at the top of our voices! I FEEL GOOD!!!! We would get some looks then woulden't we esp if we were out and about! LOL
I hope you are well
Take care
Love PIP'S XX
Caz Fab Pants
26-06-04, 01:03
Pips,
Love your idea honey, you sound like you have real spirit.
Looking forward to hearing more from you and your steady climb up the ladder :-)
Caroline
x
Hi Caroline :D
Thanks for your reply sweetie ;)
I keep practicing climbing the ladder but I think some bugger has put super glue on the rung I am on LOL! [8)]
Hope you are well and remember I am always here if you want to chat anytime! Or off load any probs! [|)]
Take Care [^]
Love PIP'S [:X] XX
Hiya Pips,
Thank you soooooooo much for your post, it is most endearing. :)
How very sweet you are.
I will keep you posted on any progress I make at mastering the skills and you do the same won`t you?
I believe we all deserve the piece of mind and happiness we all "strive" for. Notice we say "STRIVE" , others take not having to work at these things for granted don`t they?
I hate having this disorder, but love the fact that I have been able to meet and befriend such folks as yourself. :)
I know together we will all beat this thing and when we do I think we should have a reunion of sorts for all of us here on the forum.
I have already built such a bond with so many of you here. I am very grateful for the opportunity. ;)
Like Caroline mentioned, you do have great spirit indeed. :)
The next time I am feeling good/great I will perform my ode to PIPS. I will yell out at the top of my lungs. "I FEEL GOOD". No matter where I`m at. LOL................. :-D
We will all keep trying to climb that ladder with you dear. We`ll get there, I know we will. :)
FYI, it`s good to know that you are always there. ;)
Caroline.............
I think you may just be right about the "KNOCK BACKS". Your theory sounds very likely.
I know we all get those feelings/thoughts.
Very good revelation on your part. Well done you. :)
Take care all.
I hope you all are "FEELING GOOD/GREAT"!!!!!!! LOL......... :)
Loadsa Love, Diana xxxx
Hi Diana :D
Thank you so very much for your post you really are a lovley person! Your message put a big smile on my face :D
How have things been with you good I hope![^]
It's so right what you said about striving we have to really work at it what ever we do! where as alot of people as you say just do it with out even thinking about it! [Ugh]
One positive thing I think though is that it has made me look at things totally differently[Yeah!] for instance I feel I have a much more understanding of the illnessess it can bring and I think it brings out even more compassion in sufferers! Most of the people who do suffer as you know are very sensitive people. I myself being one of them but i try to think more now if I am having a bad particularly over sensitive day! Instead of trying to blame myself which I nearly always do. For example if I haven't heard from one of my penfriends for a while I think Its because they don't like me anymore they have got bored of me. I am now trying to practise not being so negative and thinking more positive things like perhaps they have been away or have been busy esp if they have children etc... I had one girl who wrote every week then all of a sudden nothing! I wrote a couple letters after but still never heard I sent texts as well but still nothing. It still makes me feel sad and a bit of me still blames myself! but there could have been a number of circumstances why she didn't want to write! I'm the sort of person who once I make a friend I do my best to keep them! Unfortunately people arn't all the same and they like to move on. So I think what I am trying to say is I think I have more of a realisation of things now whether they are bad or good! [8)] I know how hard it is not to blame yourself though and take thing to heart but you can't force people to like you and everyone is individual it would be a pretty boaring world if we were all the same hey! [|)] [Sigh...]
So I have been on a mission latley trying to find all the positve traits of anxiety & panic! LOL there arn't many as you probably know![Oops!] I am sure though if you look deep enough you can find one[^] I mean meeting new people as you say thats great and the support is fantastic too! I am sure it does make you become even more understanding and more compassionete though! So I think if you can look at some of the good things it does help! Not always easy though I appreciate that![:O]
I am unsure if I will ever be completly cured or free from this! I think I will always live with a low anxiety and somedays it might get higher then others for whatever reason but as long as I keep it under control I think it will be easier to accept! [Yeah!]
I am so sorry I just realised how much rubbish I have just waffled! I hope u r still awake[|)] LOL
Please tell me how you are getting on? I read that you live in the USA what part do you live[?] [8D] I am from the UK but I have travelled all around Florida. It was lovley. My dream is to go back again and visit Discovery Cove [Wow!] where you can swim with the dolphins I have done it once in the Bahamas on Honeymoon which was fantastic. Discovery cove looks so wonderful though! [^] Start saving those pennies again!!!!!
Anyway you really must be asleep by now LOL[|)]
I hope you are well Diana;)
Take good care!:)
Lots of Love PIP'S [:X] XX
Caz Fab Pants
03-07-04, 23:28
Diane - Pips is right, you sound like a complete sweetie :)
Pips - Wow, do you feel better after that essay!!? LOL
I think it's definitely true about the compassion thing. If I'm totally honest, before I suffered from panic attacks I was so confident, bordering on cocky (perhaps not too dissimilar to alot of teenagers.) I had no compassion for anyone really and yet now I try to see things from every possible angle and avoid judging people or jumping to conclusions. I try to empathise alot more even if I haven't experienced what someone is experiencing.
Caroline
x
Hi Caroline,
Yeah feel better now thanks after the essay although got computer cramp now though! LOL
See thats positive stuff what u wrote mate!
Did u ever get the PM I sent U? Just wondered how you were doing and if you were well? I see you are going to the meeting I have decided to travel from Devon although it's a long way it will just be great to meet fellow sufferers! Look forward 2 meeting u!
Hope u r well
Take care
Love Pip's XX
Hiya Pip`s and Caroline,
So glad you got all that off your chest Pip`s. :)
THANK YOU BOTH SOOOOO MUCH for the compliments. I really appreciate it. :)
So glad my post put a 'BIG SMILE' on your face dear.
I`ve been okay. As well as can be expected I suppose, under the circumstances. Which include being estranged from my 18 year old daughter at her request/demand.
Thank you for asking.
You are right in saying that we who suffer from this disorder are a sensitive/compassionate bunch. I know I am, 'TERRIBLY' sensitive and very 'COMPASSIONATE'. Always getting my feelings hurt. :(
I "THINK" those are positive things. Being sensitive and compassionate. Even if it takes suffering this disorder to gain those qualities (unfortunately). When this world we live in lacks sooo much of these qualities.
I know exactly what you mean about "BLAMING" ourselves for things we have no control over. I do it all the time myself. As I`m sure most of us here do.
You have the right idea dear. Keep at those "POSITIVE THOUGHTS". :-D
You are right also in saying that your penfriend may have had any number of reasons for not writing back. Don`t take it personal dear. You can`t control the universe. ;)
Maybe just maybe Pip`s, you have been such a true/good friend to your penfriend that she has been able to move onto bigger things. That if in fact she had not befriended you, she would not have been able to achieve.
So it just may be that you have served your penfriend very well, and instead of feeling sad or blaming yourself for her not replying to your efforts to contact her. Why not instead think you have made it possible for your penfriend to succeed in areas she might never have been able to, if it were`nt for her friendship with you?
It is very 'HARD' to not blame ourselves for things, and take things to the heart. Which is part of the reason we suffer with this disorder.
Like you say, it would be terribly boring if everyone were the same indeed.
I think you are right as well, about finding the "GOOD/POSITIVE" things about anxiety/panic making it easier to deal with. I too appreciate the fact that it is not always (almost never) easy to do though. Especially when we are feeling particularly anxious or panicky ey? :(
I believe "TOGETHER", we can and will beat this thing. I honestly, whole heartedly believe this. Though maybe with days of low anxiety, but even those who don`t suffer this disorder, have anxious days so that is okay with me. ;)
Dear, no rubbish at all. I enjoyed reading it all, honestly. :) I never blinked an eye.
I do live in the USA. Unfortunately not in Florida, but in Maryland instead. I too have been to Florida a few times. Mostly Ft. Lauderdale area, because my husbands brother lives there.
However, we have also traveled to Miami and Orlando. Orlando for the obvious attraction, Walt Disney Land/World. ;)
Discovery Cove ey? I have never been, but have seen it on the tele. Looks like tons of fun.
What part of Florida is that in? I would love to do that myself. :)
I`ll be saving my pennies as well. Is it very expensive?
Not sleeping yet sweetie. LOL.............................. :-D
Hope your computer cramp is a bit better now.
Hey, you all post to let me know how the meet up went won`t you?
I truly wish I could be there. :(
Caroline..................
I too feel the way you described in your post.
Seeing things from every possible angle, not judging people and not jumping to conclusions (my children not included). LOL.......... :-D
I also find myself being very empathetic with people in all situations.
So perhaps there is a bit of 'GOOD' that comes from our suffering ey?
Hoping you both are feeling well and doing well.
Take good care of yourselves.
Post to let me know how things are going won`t you?
Loadsa Love Your Ways.
Love,
Diana xoxoxo
P.S. Talk about alot of "RUBBISH"!!!!!!! LOL.................... :D
Hi Again Diana, :D
Thank you so much for your message. It was great to hear from you.[Yeah!]
How have you been keeping latley[?]
So sorry to hear about your daughter? I hope things are more sorted now for you honey. If ever you want to chat I am always here!
Thank you also for your kind words and advice they do mean alot!;)
I agree with you though I would rather be over sensitve! I even cry:( at the slightest thing sometimes if I am having a particularly low day! Hubby can come home and say hi how are you and then all of a sudden boo hoo hoo I'm off! He must wish he never asked! LOL[Oops!] I would rather be like that then hard hearted though! As you say the world can be cruel enough. So we may suffer but in a positive way!
Have you always lived in the USA? What's it like living Maryland what part of America is it? Sorry all these questions I am nosey[Oops!] you don't have to answer them if you don't wish to![:I]
Discovery cove is in Orlando they also own Sea World as well (which is fab) have you ever been to Sea World? Discovery cove is quite pricey but well worth it! Here is the website for you to have a look at www.discoverycove.com I was looking at it last night and all hubby could here from me was [Wow!][Yeah!][:O]
Think he guessed I would love to go! LOL[Sigh...] Keep filling that penny jar hey! There is also a health spa place I would love to go to that Nic goes to here in the uk! Lots of lots of wonderful pampering all the treatments and the spa loks fabulous! I think I'd better start putting notes in my jar not coins at this rate! Loads and loads of saving hey! Be worth it in the end though[Yeah!]
Things with me have been up and down really. Never a whole straight forward day but that's my muddled brain[:P] for you in the world of Anxiety and Panic![}:)] but life goes on and so must we hey! [OK] We are stronger then most I am sure as most people just do things and take it for granted. We have to strugle so we must have some inner strength somewhere don't you think? [^]
Anyway you take good care of yourself sweetie [8D]
Look forward to hearing how you are! ;)
Lots of love PIP'S XX [:X]
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.