Scared and don't know what to think..

[looking4answers]

I am finally to the point where I am going to have to go to the doctor ,one that I don't know and scared of what I might find.I have exhausted every source on the internet and keep finding things i don't want to find.I even went as far as writting a ent on the net that told me what I wanted to know that sounded for the moment something posititive.I even called a nurse that lives a little ways from us to ask what she thought.Well she thought I should go to the doctor to have it checked out.I am freaking out and worried that I might have a stroke or heart attack before my appointment or while I sleep.I have had something of what they call pulsative tenditus. Or pulsation sensation around or in the ear.It has progressively gotten worse and made me really really anxious.The ent that I ask about it said that its not life threatening and I have read many many accounts of people that have had all the test and can't find anything but on the net on every site that contains information about PT talks about tumors,annorisms and artery blockage.I thought I would feel better when I talked to the nurse but she pretty much confirmed my worries...I am so scared I am almost paralyzized.I have been sweating all night long and had more missed beats in my heart than I have had and a long time.I just don't know what to do except hope that I don't have a stroke or heart attack from worry until I can see the doctor and hopefully seeing a new doctor will not give me major anxiety.I have had several different symptoms that may have to do with whatever I have but hopefully they are all anxiety related.I have had really bad dreams,been awakened by jolts of something in my head.I also had the back of my head twitching last night and around my eye twitched.I feel I can't relax and want to so much and say its nothing.I wished someone out there that has had some simular experience please try to comfort me..I have't been this anxious and many years...and I am older now and scared of what it might do to me.I hope to be able to report the results of my doctors visit with some good news..and anyone that can help me get through this now while im waiting to get to the doctor I would really appreciate the comfort.

[angie3077]

Hi, I definately agree with Heidi that you should not look for answers on the internet but I know myself how tempting it is to do that, but really try to wait to hear what your doctor says. Also if you are not relaxing/sleeping well the this might explain your twitches that you are getting - especially around the eyes. You have to realise that when you are in this heightened state of anxiety EVERYTHING is magnified and the slightest thing we blow out of proportion, You probably know this yourself but its hard when its happening - I know only too well.
I hope you have seen your doctor and it would be good to hear how you are doing now? Take care

Angie

[clickaway]

Spend your time by reading posts on this forum that demonstrate that our fears are unfounded.

As the others have said DO NOT SURF THE NET FOR ANSWERS as you will feel worse. Anxiety is all in the mind, so don't feed it with Google and the like.

Take Care,


Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[looking4answers]

Just wanted to thank each and everyone of you for your response.I finally bit the bullet and went to the doctor..WHAT a day ......my God I was freaking out and stiff as a board.I don't think that I have had that much anxiety since my mother died..A new doctor in a new place...scared me to death...but overall they were kind and understood my "white coat symdrome" Well my complaint most of all was with my heart and hearing my pulse and other minor things like twicthes and things that I have posted online.The doctor took time and listened to everything and ask where we were from and found to her amazment that we were Katrina relocated...She listened very carefully and checked me out.She took my blood pressure which I expected to be off the scale and found that it was just a little high...because of anxiety.She also found that I have a slight murmur which no one has ever bothered telling me about or its somthing I just have started having.She said the type of murmur was the kind that isn't bad..Its just somthing people get sometimes when you are under alot of stress.I was ready for ekgs and the whole bit and she ask me "why"? She said chidren have thes type of murmurs and your doctors have probably always known you had it but didin't want to say anything because they have always known you were anxious..She assured me it was nothing to worry about..Finally about the diagnosis.......Post Tramatic Stress Symdrome..I couldn't believe my ears..I told her that we had lost our home in Katrina but managed to put the pieces back together and we were ok..She said that even though we weren't there we were suffering the effects..She ask millions of questions and told me that she has been on three different tours in Iraq and recognises all of the symtoms..She also found that I did indeed hava tube blockage in my left ear partial and total blockage in my right ear.She said that was my problem..She cleaned my right ear for sign of infection and also was careful to do a full observation on me while checking my heart lungs and feet etc..She said that my heart was strong and my lungs were clear and that mostly all she could see was the fact that my ears and sinus's were having issues..The rest was all stress.She put me on zoloft and told me that you will feel alot better ..She made me another appointment with and ENT in a month and said that he could take care of my ears and sinus..She didn't dwell on my murmur because she knew the mere mention of it freaked me out but assured me there were no blockages ,tumors,or other problems other than PTSD and that everything would be back to normal soon.She didn'I even raise my bp medicine or advise me of anything else to do other than to try and deal with Katrina thoughts and worries and to try to relax and enjoy our new home.She was very nice but it made me wonder why she didn't do any test for blockage or murmur..She is a Medic when she is in IRAQ and I know that people depend on her for life and death in the field so Im in hopes she is right about everything and for now Im going to try not to worry to much and just be at peace as much as I can.One good thing about it.Her office is only a few miles away and she seems like the kind of person you could call and ask thiings of...and seems to really understand the worries and concerns I have so wishe me luck..Once again thank you for your comments and I have been trying to ween myself off of google at least for anything medical except for things related to PTSD and it helps a little to understand the things it causes...Take care and thanks again..Michael

[angie3077]

Michael, glad to hear back from you and pleased to say you sound a lot better. Its great that you are comfortable with your new doctor and I hope things are on the up for you.

Angie x