Seeing Occupational Health tomorrow, feeling awful.

[Oatcake]

I'm seeing the Occupational Health worker tomorrow afternoon. It's the first time in my career that I've been referred to them, and I can feel the anxiety starting already. I have to go to County Hall, where they're based. It's a big building, miles away from home, full of important people. That familiar stomach churning sensation and total lack of hunger is biting already. It may be a two Amitryptaline pill night, instead of the usual one :huh:

I've been advised by all my friends, and those colleagues who have been brave enough to speak to me, just to tell them what's been going on, both professionally and in my personal life to trigger the anxiety. I hope they've booked me a long appointment, lol. They say that they'll treat everything I say in confidence, but they're going to write a report for my boss at the end of it. Contradiction?

I want them to know that I'm not angry with my boss any more, just sad that support was not provided, even though I asked for it back in July last year, and subsequently had an anxiety attack which signed me off when she made it obvious she thought I was over-reacting, and the anxiety was just me being over-dramatic. My union rep went in with me for a meeting, when I stated that if support was not provided I would inevitably wind up off work. And here I am, off work with anxiety. Ho hum.

I'm fairly sure they're going to ask me when I see myself being well enough for work, and I don't think I can answer that. Is that acceptable? I cannot go back the way things are, and I'm not sure how enforceable an occupational health's recommendations are.

Excuse the rambling, I know I'm off kilter tonight. I just worry they're going to say I'm fine and should be going back. The very thought of it makes me sick and tearful. I feel like I'm back at square one. Stupid GAD!

[Annie0904]

Try not to worry about. occupational Health are there to support you and in my opinion have always been 'on my side'. Be honest with them. Mine said I was not fit for work yet. They will let you see and approve a copy of the report before it is sent to your employer.

[Magic]

Oatcake,
Yes, I don't think the occupational help will report your illness to your boss. It is supposed to be confidential what you say surely?
The report might well be to say if you are fit for work or not.
Anyway i hope all goes well and don't forget to write things down
you may forget to say something if you are nervous
Good Luck:hugs:

[Col]

Bless you. I know its hard to get feeling from written words when the person isnt infront of you and you cant read or sense their body language BUT honestly you don't sound well enough to go back. I can tell from the way you've written it. To be honest - I don't think I could make the journey to the County hall, your very brave for going,tell them straight and be honest about your feelings , good luck.

[Edie]

Perhaps you need to ask at the beginning for clarification on the confidentiality issue.

I hope your meeting goes OK.

[Dollie]

Oatcake, We can all say don't worry but it not us going before occupational health :scared15: What I can say is that I have been there! I was far luckier in that my interview was done over two days and over the phone. I was as honest as I could be and told them everything to the point of my considering a gievence issue against my boss who was not at all sympathetic. The did confirm a report would go to my boss but they kept the report somewhat direct and to the point. They will know if your not ready for work and will confirm it in the report. I'm sure that if you tell them all you can, even if its difficult and upsetting, they will be very considerate and only report back the facts as they are.
I really hope it goes ok for you and that you get through this difficult time.
Here's wishing you well :):) Dolly

[Sunshine77]

Hi Oatcake,

I've been there too. OH were lovely and asked me if I wanted to see a copy of the report before it went to my company. That meant that if I'd disagreed with it then I could have challenged it before my employer saw it. In actual fact I didn't need to as what they had put was a perfect reflection.

Mine didn't judge whether I was ready for work or not, they were guided by my GP. Initially I gave them a date that I had hoped to be back but then the day before I went back to the docs and ended up with another sick note. I was petrified when I rang them thinking they would challenge me but they just accepted it. They gave me some good advice too; the lady I spoke with was a qualified counsellor.

Oatcake DON'T let anything make you go back before you are ready. You sound as though you're still pretty wobbly. Don't risk making yourself worse by pushing yourself more than you need to. Your health comes first. (and yes I know this is all easier said than done!)

Let us know how it goes. Take good care :hugs:

[Tessar]

Good luck oatcake. :)

[kittikat]

Oatcake, I have been in a very similar situation to you work wise and have just had my 4th Occ Health Assessment.

I just wanted to reassure you that I have found them to be very helpful and ultimately they are not there to tell you that you have to go back to work, but to advise your employer how best to facilitate your return by making adjustments to help you. Your employer has a duty of care to follow these recommendations through.

I would say that although anxiety provoking, be as honest as you can, the occ health doc will help guide you through or explain if you are unsure. I have been very satisfied with all of my reports. My assessment has always been interpreted on the paper report as I have said it.

Also, you have the option to see the report before your employer so if you are worried what it will say, ask to have a copy first. That way if there is anything you are unhappy about you can contact the doctor to discuss re-wording before your employer has a copy.

Good luck, and remember, it is for your benefit at the end of the day. Kitti :)

[Oatcake]

Thanks for the good wishes, everyone. I survived it. Definitely not my finest thirty minutes, mind you! :blush:

We got as far as "What's keeping you off work?", and I burst into tears. I am going to blame PMT for some of that, not my GAD! He listened, and was really only interested in the medical side of things, not work. I tried to speak about it, but he went back to the medical stuff. He dosn't think my GP has managed it properly, and definitely disagrees with me being on Amitryptaline. Zokapin or something was what he suggested.

Anyway, after I'd snivelled through half a box of his NHS tissues, he said that it was unlikely I'd be well enough to work for at least two months, and there was no point in interviewing me further because he could see I was distressed and needed to sort my GAD out with my GP first.

So, I drove home and the dog was waiting. She was so happy to see me, and her tail wagged so much that it smacked her in the side, so she proceeded to chase it around the house. I laughed, and felt a lot better. Now I wait for the report to come. Fingers crossed it'll be as hopeful as some of the reports you've all had :)

[kittikat]

Well done Oatcake :yesyes: I am sure the report will go in your favour!

At least after all that emotion and anxiety you are safe at home and able to relax and laugh at your dog now. Animals do have a great way of 'comforting' us lol

Wishing you all the best, Kitti :hugs: x

[Annie0904]

Well done for getting through it and it is probably a good thing that you cried through it as he will have seen how ill you really are :hugs: xx

[Sunshine77]

Well done Oatcake, I agree with Annie that it's no bad thing you cried. I was worried when I spoke to OH that I sounded too well (it was a phone interview)! I bet it feels like a weight has been lifted now that you know there's no pressure on you to get back to work straight away.

Animals are brilliant for lifting our spirits. I only have to get the "mouse on a stick" out for my cat and it cheers me up straight away :-)

:hugs:

[Tessar]

Oatcake I am really proud of you... It was no mean feat what you did today. If I had been able to face up to stuff like you are, I would have got the help I needed much sooner, WELL DONE YOU. Oh and for your doggy to be waiting, that was really sweet.

[Ineedlookingafter]

Thanks for posting this oatcake. I found it really helpful to see you succeed in getting to the appointment. I have my first one ever looming (no date yet) so it is great to see that they can be survivable!

Very well done!

[Oatcake]

Thanks for posting this oatcake. I found it really helpful to see you succeed in getting to the appointment. I have my first one ever looming (no date yet) so it is great to see that they can be survivable!

Very well done!

Hi Ineedlookingafter - good luck with your appointment! I had forgotten that my boss had mentioned applying for it, so when the envelope came, I merrily opened it, read the first line and felt sick. You sound a bit more organised than me :yesyes:

I wouldn't say I enjoyed it, but this doctor listened (In fact, he listened better than my GP!) and took notes. He was friendly and kind - the scariest bit was sitting in reception. I had a wobble in front of a load of contractors and had to bury my face in the Food Bank literature they had lying about. I can now tell you exactly what food local charities need, in alphabetical order :roflmao: You can ask to see your report too, so you know what's been reported. You have to sign a form to say what you consent to, so nothing will be done without your knowledge.

Post back when you have your appointment - everyone here has been fab, and given my courage to get through it. I can talk to my pals, but I really feel like I'm amongst people who "get" me on here :hugs:

[Sunshine77]

I can talk to my pals, but I really feel like I'm amongst people who "get" me on here

That's the beauty of this site isn't it Oatcake? My friends and husband are fabulous but apart from one friend who has been through the same, I know that they can't really empathise. I've never been a fan of online forums in fact I'm not even on Facebook and yet I feel really close to some of the people I've met on here. It's funny to know that people I've never met and whose real names I often don't know will be there for me 24/7 and that I will for them.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: ahh got a warm and fuzzy feeling now :D