76rob
11-03-13, 13:11
hello to you all. my name is rob, im 36 and have had anxiety/depression issues on and off for most of my adult life. i guess i wanted to join this site primarily for the distraction that can be achieved through communicating freely with people who will know where i am coming from. one of the motivations for coming on here is that id like to think i could advise the younger versions of myself out there against making the sort of mistakes i have.
for me personally my life so far from childhood to present day has been a catalogue of impulsiveness and ever fluctuating mental state and competence. as a lot of you will know its very difficult to pledge a consistency to others whether it be a partner or an employer when your days can be endlessly consumed with just attempting to 'be'. 'writing a book a day in your mind' month after month, year after year gets exhausting and exasperating, the deeper youve dug the hole the harder it becomes to excersise the daily surface requirements expected of you by others.
im not going to write my life story because to a degree its irrelevant, there is but today and tommorow, i just know that living with these sort of conditions restricts your ability to gather what you grew up to learn to expect from life, i think ive got far enough to let it go now and accept but its not always easy to keep the sadness and confusion at bay when you live on the edge each day, your only hope that the next 15 minute window passes without too much incident. my condition gave me a wonderful childhood, but what goes up must come down and the memories are as distorted as there are bitter sweet. we all know there are people worse off, you can re inforce that day after day, some days when it goes well i can forget myself but not often and whatever todays achievements 'itll' be there in the morning like bloody groundhog day.
as an introduction i want to keep it fairly light as ive still got it in me to smile,i just need to keep it
for me personally my life so far from childhood to present day has been a catalogue of impulsiveness and ever fluctuating mental state and competence. as a lot of you will know its very difficult to pledge a consistency to others whether it be a partner or an employer when your days can be endlessly consumed with just attempting to 'be'. 'writing a book a day in your mind' month after month, year after year gets exhausting and exasperating, the deeper youve dug the hole the harder it becomes to excersise the daily surface requirements expected of you by others.
im not going to write my life story because to a degree its irrelevant, there is but today and tommorow, i just know that living with these sort of conditions restricts your ability to gather what you grew up to learn to expect from life, i think ive got far enough to let it go now and accept but its not always easy to keep the sadness and confusion at bay when you live on the edge each day, your only hope that the next 15 minute window passes without too much incident. my condition gave me a wonderful childhood, but what goes up must come down and the memories are as distorted as there are bitter sweet. we all know there are people worse off, you can re inforce that day after day, some days when it goes well i can forget myself but not often and whatever todays achievements 'itll' be there in the morning like bloody groundhog day.
as an introduction i want to keep it fairly light as ive still got it in me to smile,i just need to keep it